Our Gentle Center

Our Gentle Center

When life has been stormy or uncertain, Kylie has been the rock that is our center. It seems she happily took this role on as her own since the day we brought her home from a breeder in Tennessee almost eleven years ago.

The older she gets, the harder it is to know we are closer to a goodbye than ever before. Though I do hope we have many more years with her.

I try not to dwell in that space of “someday” too often. But I know that when I do it’s my way of processing what will inevitably be.  In a way, I think whether we are conscious of it or not, little by little we begin to prepare ourselves as best we can.

But I’m reminded when Kylie’s tail wags and she looks at me with her soft, brown eyes, pulling me deep into her soul, that there is much joy to yet be shared.

So I hug her tighter, tell her more often I love her, and learn once again to live in the moment — because its all we really have.

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Just When I Wanted to Give Up. Dancing in a New Portal. I Welcome it!

Dancing in a New Portal. I Welcome it!

I love this from author, Susan Branch (who I adore!) and for me I’d replace kitty with doggie (grin):

Now I get to organize them into some sort of sense that spells B-O-O-K.  Don’t ask me how, because I don’t know yet.  I compare the process to sweeping the kitchen floor.  All the tiny bits and pieces are scattered to every corner, I sweep and sweep and the crumbs and kitty hairs come closer to each other, I sweep some more until they are one solid thing in the dust pan.  That’s book writing.

Yesterday I finally had the chance to walk through a new portal – and a very welcome one at that.

On Monday I had many thoughts running amok in my mind – thoughts that had me wanting to throw in the towel and quit. I wondered if this writing books business was all worth it.

My books written to date have felt quite a bit different than the one I’ve been working on for the past three years, Wisdom Found in the Pause. I felt like Susan writes that there were many pieces scattered and I wasn’t quite sure how to fit them together, or if I even had a story to tell – or one that others would want to read. In other words, I’ve had much more self-doubt with this one.

It also took longer for my manuscript to be returned from my editor than I had anticipated or experienced in the past. From what I understand, in part, do to her work load. It was definitely a test for me to hang in there – and not let my mind run too crazy with wild (and likely not true) thoughts.

Mid-morning Tuesday when I opened my inbox to see an email from my editor with my manuscript attached my heart started to beat faster. This. was. it. It. was. finally. back.

I took a deep breath and opened the file and quickly scanned it. I let out a sigh of relief. I’ve got work to do, but I feel much more confident about putting it out into the world – which my hope is still by year end – if not sooner.

And my whole psyche has shifted to now feeling excited and ready to hunker down and do the work. I welcome it!  In fact, the editing process is one of my favorite parts of the writing process. This is when I see my words whipped into shape and it’s like dusting the furniture seeing a new sheen come to the surface.

I also enjoy the process of putting all the other pieces together such as working with a book cover designer, who I’ll be talking with next week, and then putting the interior layout together, too.

There is much to be done, but I’m so happy to be dancing in this new portal!

The photo above is of my friend Miss Marie’s gate that leads to her front porch. Most days in the summer you will find me out on a morning walk and this is one of my favorite sites to see. There is something so mysterious, but comforting at the same time about it. Just like writing a book – mysterious when you are putting the pieces together and oh, so comforting when it starts coming together!

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A Mix of Emotions

A Mix of Emotions

Happy Monday, Friends!

I just had to take another peek in the Robin nest today to see how the little ones are doing. They hatched last week Wednesday and I’m simply amazed at how fast they have grown since then. Almost double in size!  Whoa!

I’m utterly enjoying watching this new life take shape right outside the east side of my writing cottage window where these little darlings reside in the limelight Hydrangea tree that was just planted in May.

At the same time, I’m feeling some sadness that soon enough they will be leaving the nest. I have to admit that I didn’t know how long before that happens. I had to do a Google search. The result in my search tells me that baby Robin’s typically leave home around two weeks after they have hatched.

So I’m trying not to think about that day of them leaving that is right around the corner and instead just enjoy the time they are here.

And this has me relating this to my manuscript, Wisdom Found in the Pause. After checking in again this morning with my editor, she has promised I will have it no later than tomorrow morning.

I’ve had so many emotions around the writing of this, my second memoir, and the many stages I’ve walked through with it. It took me three years of fits and starts to get it to where I could feel comfortable in handing it over to an editor, which I did in mid-February.

I never anticipated having to have waited this long for it to return. Oh the thoughts that have run amok in my mind at times! It certainly has been a practice in patience and trusting in faith once again. While I believe the timing of much of anything is up to the Universe, I also do believe one must do their due diligence in following up on where things are at.

While I’m happy to know I will have my manuscript back in hand again, I’m also feeling anxious about it. While I want to work on it again and get it to the next step, it comes with trepidation, too. But I also know this is all part of the process of being a writer – and really a part of life and all the little steps we take to where we need to get to next.

Just like those little birds outside my window – all the stages they too have gone through. Soon they will take flight and no doubt with fits and starts too. But soon enough they will be flying off on their own and out into the world– and who knows where it will take them!

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