The sun streaming through the blinds woke me at five this morning. I tried to go back to sleep, but Frankie and the releasing of her ashes began to swirl through my mind, which I wrote about yesterday.
I lay in bed a bit longer thinking about her. It then occurred to me that in August she would have been seventeen years old. This is significant for me.
The day before I made the decision to help her cross to the other side I had a reading done by my friend and animal communicator, Dawn. I shared with her that I had wished Frankie could live to be seventeen. I don’t really know why I wanted that. But communicating this to Frankie, Dawn shared that Frankie felt seventeen – meaning she lived a full life and was ready to move on. That was very comforting to me.
I can’t help but link the significance of that to today being the five-year anniversary of her passing and my being ready to scatter her ashes.
I didn’t make any sort of plans for today. All I knew was that I would scatter her ashes around my writing cottage. I followed the flow of how my heart was guiding me.
At five-thirty I climbed out of bed and did my normal routine of feeding the dogs, etc. Eventually I made my way out to my writing cottage, twelve steps from my bedroom patio doors across the deck I walked. My heart in some ways felt heavy with knowing what lay before me.
I lit a candle and decided to pull out of my SoulCollage card deck the card I made of Frankie during the winter solstice two years ago. A card of her and the reminder of her gift to me – to always look for the light in dark times and to be the light as an example for others. While I didn’t know if I’d write about my experience today of releasing Frankie’s ashes, I knew in that moment I would.
Frankie taught me so much about the joy of living, but also that death should not be feared and to trust that our spirits live on and we can connect with our loved ones whenever we want.
Following my intuition I decided to also randomly choose two oracle cards. Joy and Dragonfly presented themselves. The universe definitly with me this morning. Joy is my favorite word and what joy Frankie brought not only to my life, but thousands of others in our work together.
Dragonfly had a message too and what Frankie taught me – to be authentically who I am – and Dragonfly card says, “You know who you are.” I do now… thanks to Frankie.
I smiled through my tears.
Continuing to follow what felt right, I did my Yoga practice. It was moving through my poses that I knew I’d sit with the box of Frankie’s ashes afterwards and listen to our song, Landslide, before I took the final step of scattering them.
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
‘Til the landslide brought it down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older, too
Mr. Squirrel has been quite the entertainment for me this morning from the view out my writing cottage window.
I first observed him slinking up the deck railing, almost appearing flat. At first I thought something was wrong with him and became concerned. But it could have to do with it being so windy out. I’m not sure.
But then when I opened the door to my cottage he took off running to the tree…and there he froze…blending right into the bark of the tree…well, sort of. Trying to be in disguise, but that wind swirled his tail around giving him away.
I had to chuckle quietly to myself while he stayed in that position for what seemed the longest time.
I know many think squirrels are a nuisance, but I really enjoy watching them.
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