Striving – Eventually the individual ego’s drive to “make things happen” falls away, replaced with a relaxed, trusting openness to answers as they arise. Thank you, Divine, for letting me move with the Flow!” The Wild Offering Oracle by Tosha Silver
This keyboard. It has seen me through the writing of two children’s books, three memoirs, countless blog posts, and the creation of an oracle deck. Plus just the general administration tasks of one’s life.
As I cleared the clutter and organized Joyful Pause Cottage studio last week, I realized it was time to say goodbye to my keyboard. Many of the letters are worn away. The “foot” on the right side that helps to prop it up had broken about a year ago and a box was placed underneath to help keep it in place.
I’d wondered why I put up with the fact that it often caused me a bit of angst when I’d have to yet again adjust the box after the keyboard fell off it. Those little annoying things can eat away at our energy.
And just like that. It was time. Time to bid it farewell. While I’m typing this one last blog post on it, the new one will arrive today.
With that came all these emotions of what this keyboard has seen me through!
Yesterday in the monthly animal wisdom oracle reading I recorded for Youtube, I shared how I’m in this space of no new projects on my plate as we move into 2023. For about the last 15 years I was either in the middle of finishing a book or beginning one and the same with my oracle deck project I’d been working on the last two years.
But nothing has surfaced into my mind’s eye of what it is I may want to create next.
It feels odd, yet nice, though at moments, uncomfortable. Shouldn’t I be doing something?
Diann, a reader of my blog left this comment on Youtube: “I too for the first time since I can remember am in the same place and I am working through all the feelings around that. I many times instinctually feel like I should jump into something and then get this friendly intuitive reminder to just be…and be ok with just being for right now. This is so foreign to me but I am trying to remain mindful to be patient as I await what is to come next. Very vulnerable place!!”
She hit the nail on the head by sharing how it is a vulnerable place. Because our culture places so much attention and almost a stamp of honor when one is busy and striving. But this vulnerable space is also an invitation to be with all those uncomfortable feelings because as I’ve experienced time and time again when one comes out the other side, you see and understand the growth in learning to just be in those feelings.
And while I, or Diann, or perhaps you too, may not have a new project on our plates, perhaps this is the project – of allowing this wide open space and just being in it.
It was after I’d read Diann’s comment that I pulled a card from The Wild Offering Oracle. This is a deck I keep on my table in my bathroom and pull a card for the week. I’d realized I’d not done that since about a month ago when I’d pulled the last card.
How perfectly the card pulled with just the right message which I shared above. A stamp of confirmation to let the ego’s drive fall to the side and in its place, a more relaxed and trusting openness to come in. Not something many of us are used to.
But a call to just take it for a test drive and see what comes of it. As I’m learning to once again be with at this time. And as I say goodbye to an end of an era with my worn-out keyboard and await the new one to arrive…and the possibilities of what may come.
XO
Barb
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