life transition

Transitioning to Work at Home. Valuing It As Sanctuary and Who I Am

My little space of peace

It was literally written in the stars (and planets) that I’d come to value my home as my safe harbor. I say this because I have three planets in the sign of cancer. Beauty, comfort and a safe place to express myself fully is high on my list of self-care.

I wanted to share more about my transition from the corporate world to working from home in hopes it will help those feeling uneasy about the fact they may now be working from home while we learn to navigate these uncertain times. And who knows when we move through this time, it may be something others may want to put more permanently in place. I see so many advantages to this. And perhaps this is a time of reflection and re-evaluating what you really want moving forward.

It was in the early ’90s when I was making decent money working at a local resort. It was also during that time I thought my worth was dependent on showing I’d ‘made it.’ During that time I purchased a sportscar and made the payments myself from the money I’d earned. But it wasn’t long afterward that the joy of that faded.

Fast forward to 1999 and an angst inside me was growing stronger by the day. I wanted out of the corporate world. It just didn’t fit with what I was feeling. And just to be clear, I don’t have anything against working in the corporate world, it just became clear to me that this wasn’t where I was meant to be.

There was a part of me that was scared though to make a change. How would John and I make it without my income? He’d just started a construction business four years prior. But there was another part of me that was willing to do what it took to make the changes to work from home.

So I started slowly. I left my job at the resort and worked part-time for John’s construction business and part-time for another local construction business. Until I was let go a few short years later from the latter. I remember how devastated I was. Mortified is more like the word. I’ve always considered myself to have a strong work ethic, so this was a blow to my ego.

But it would turn out to be a blessing in disguise. While I still continued to work part-time for John, this niggle of not feeling fulfilled and not understanding why would eventually lead me to a life coach in 2005. Through that deep dive of exploration, I’d explore becoming a writer. And well, if you’ve followed me for some time, two children’s books later, many blog posts and newsletters written I was living the life of a writer.

It took me time to find my groove working from home. In the beginning, I had strict rules for myself. I had to stay in my office, or what I fondly call my writing cottage— a 10 x 12 space that John built for me— as if I were at a nine-to-five job. I’d be upset with myself if I wasn’t in my cottage by 9 am. 

What I’d come to realize over time that these were things that were conditioned into me. And I’d discover that this was really all about trusting myself. Working from home meant I was now entirely accountable for myself and that I was solely responsible for making sure I’d accomplish the tasks I’d set for myself.

From 2008-2012 I was working harder than I ever had in my life as I promoted my children’s books and along with my sidekick, my disabled dachshund, Frankie, who was in a wheelchair, we’d visit 400 schools and libraries, plus accomplish over 250 visits as a therapy dog team to local facilities.

And just as Frankie slowed down and then passed away in June of 2012, and I finished writing my first memoir, I was feeling strongly another transition occurring for myself. But again, as was my pattern, I ignored it. It being is that I no longer wanted to be out in the public eye in the way that I had been. I wanted to spend even more time at home.

When I finally faced up to the fact I needed to take a time-out I took the leap and made the decision to take a sabbatical for one month, perhaps two. As I mentioned in the intuitive oracle reading I recorded yesterday, the first two weeks of my sabbatical I about jumped out of my skin! It felt so uncomfortable moving from a fast pace to a pace of learning to just be and really listen to what my heart was trying to convey to me.

As I’d eventually share in my second memoir, journaling and using oracle cards to bring about new perspectives were two tools I used to help me as I moved from feeling anxious to find more peace within. I’ve never regretted that decision. It would end up being a beautiful time in my life, just like the experience I had with Frankie and the work we did all those years, too.

But what I’ve come to understand in times of uncertainty and those of transitional times, is to look for the gifts. There is a treasure hidden within if we take the time to really explore and be with it and not let fear take hold.

And I remember when a local TV station interviewed me at my writing cottage when all the rage was about ‘She Sheds,’ though in all honesty I never cared for the term. As with all things, there were some that find the concept of a space of one’s own as not necessary, but I was eager and passionate to express what my space has meant to me.

Being in the comfort of my home and my writing cottage has helped me grow beyond what I could have ever imagined for myself. It has been my soft landing of where I can feel free to be me. And the more I move deeper into this space of appreciating and loving myself for who I am, the more I can bring that out into the world in my own unique way.

So perhaps, just perhaps, there is something here that will be of value and to give thought to as we practice for at least another month this physical distancing and working from home. I’ve definitely found many gems with this and if this is speaking to your heart, I hope it will encourage you to find a way too. And if I can be of support for any transition you find yourself in, please feel free to reach out to me.

xo,

Barbara

 

Bursting through the Layers

Bursting through the Layers
Gidget

For three years I felt in transition. While at the same time, I saw myself getting to where I am now — though I wasn’t quite sure how “getting here” was going to happen.

I’ve got so many wonderful opportunities happening right now. It makes the time of transition now feel like it went fast, though when I was in it, it was difficult at times to trust the process– and how I fought to not just push it along so I could move past feeling uncomfortable.

My faith was being called upon often during those many months of feeling I’d lost my way– but really, what I learned and had to practice (and still am practicing!) was allowing my path to unfold organically. I had to learn to let go of control.

Much of this I’ve been writing about in my new book called, “Wisdom Found in the Pause.” The process of writing this book has been a practice in itself also of allowing and not forcing it out into the world until it feels ready– but I feel closer to that point now than ever before.

I’ve come to realize that I had to experience what I call the “full circle” of transition. There were many layers I had to work through – some took longer than others — and there are many layers of which I still must work through. And as author Joan Anderson says, we are “unfinished” women. I love that because it means we just have that much more to explore and learn about ourselves– and it’s what life is all about.

Of late, I’ve had this burst of feeling on purpose and in align with right where I should be–something that eluded me since Frankie passed away in 2012.

Though I admit, I find myself worrying about the one thing I want to let go of– and that is balance. Not that I don’t want balance in my life, because I do — but trying not to control it — but to let my life bring me the special opportunities that feed my soul and know this is right where I’m supposed to be– and trust the rest always works out.

As I contemplated so many of these thoughts this morning, brushing my teeth, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.

It was dear, sweet, Gidget peeking around the corner from the bedroom looking at me as I was deep in thought.

A burst of pure love washed over my heart and brought me right back to center. I sensed she was reminding me to ride the waves of these wonderful new feelings and opportunities coming my way, while at the same time, she was here to remind me that I could slow down when I need — and everything will still work out.

I was grateful for that connection in that moment of what is the ebb and flow of life. And how grateful I am to be in this time right now of bursting through yet another layer of who I am and where I want to go.

We celebrated 60 days Monday, the 15th of Miss Gidget having no seizures! Woo hoo!

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