unconventional life

My Unconventional Christmas Tree. Unconventional Me.

Inspired by my dear friend, who I lovingly refer to as “Sistah V” (I am “Sistah B”), this is my unconventional Christmas tree. I didn’t feel like hauling up the fake tree from downstairs and would have preferred a real one.  But instead, I thought about Sistah V’s branch tree she does every year.  Her  holiday branch tree then turns into a Valentine tree, then Easter, then spring/summer/fall which is decorated with tiny birdhouses.

I like my unconventional tree. It made me think about my aha moment this week in the Artist’s Way workshop I’ve been taking for the past ten weeks. Well, it’s not as if this is a new revelation. But I felt myself sink deeper into my own skin of who I am. I realized once again, on an even deeper level, with a new light shining upon it, that I enjoy living an unconventional life.

At times I lose my way and as much as I think it would feel better to just go back to the way I lived before, I know I can’t. Well, I could. But I don’t want to. I’ve created boundaries so I can do more of what makes my heart sing.  I don’t always go with the flow of society with my choices either. This has caused fear in me from time to time. But I don’t want to let that fear swallow me. While I realize it is normal to feel fear, it also helps me see that I have a choice every time that feeling arises. I’ve become better each time at just sitting through the feeling, allowing it to move through me.

And no matter how we choose to live our lives, conventional or unconventional, fear is always going to be a part of it.  But fear of not living fully into who I am or not following my heart is far scarier to me than dealing with a fear that may never even happen.

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts. -K.T. Jong