The Old Man and Me

The Old Man and Me

In my weekly newsletter today I shared the following story and received wonderful feedback, so I wanted to share here on my blog, too. 

I saw him shuffling his way across the pavement to the volunteer, box of treasures in hand.

I had just pulled up to the back of the building, there for the same purpose, dropping off some items I no longer needed at our local Saint Vincent De Paul’s.

As I stepped out of the car, he must have noticed the dog decals on my back window and said, “Are you donating some dog’s?”

“No,” I said smiling, knowing he was kidding. “Not a chance!”

I sensed he didn’t recognize me right away as he handed his small box of items to the volunteer.

But I remembered him from meeting him several times at our neighbors when they’d have a party or I’d run into him now and then at the post office. Dave, always a great sense of humor, and he often talked about his bird.

I first got to know his wife, Karin. She was very supportive of my work with Frankie and my writing, often sending me sweet notes of encouragement in the mail.

I said, “How’s your parrot?”

It was as if a light of recognition went on. He smiled and began chatting happily about the bird he has had for over 30 years.

And then without warning he began to cry.

“I miss Karin so much,” he sobbed.

Karin died a little over a year ago. I read about it in the paper and was in shock as it seemed so sudden.

And it was. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at age 79 and died within three months.

Dave, now 85-years old, struggling to move through his days without the woman he fell in love with when he was just a young man.

He turned to walk away, still overcome with tears. “I can’t believe I’m crying. I feel so silly.”

Walking quickly up behind him I said, “Don’t go. Let me give you a hug.” I embraced him with all my might trying to convey my empathy for what he is going through.

And I let him talk through his wave of grief. And pretty soon his sense of humor returned and we eventually parted ways.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about him all the way home. I worried that I had done enough. Was there more I could have done? My heart ached for him.

And then Tuesday in the mail was a card with his return address.

Inside, a thank you card.

In his shaky handwriting he wrote:
“Barbara!”

And on a sticky label was typed:

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the
grandest intention.”

He signed it, “Thank you, Dave”

Now it was my turn to shed a few tears. That small gesture of a hug and listening was all he needed in that moment.

It was enough.

Thank you for subscribing to my journal posts.

His Hand in Mine

His Hand in Mine
John and I and our bride and groom hands

This hand that I’ve held for over 37 years.

Wrapped around mine, love pulsing through our fingers, sending our hearts surging with excitement.

How my insides lit on fire the first time I held your strong, soft hand. I didn’t want to ever let go.

I thought of this driving home last evening from our weekly date night. It was dark, we were both lost in our own thoughts, and then you reached across the console and took my hand in yours.

Still strong, but now callused and a bit rougher. Working hands that clearly show many years of pride in providing for our family.

The intense need of wanting to know I was “the one” when we first met to, now replaced with comfort, peace, acceptance and security. A different kind of love. One that has grown and evolved, through all the ups and downs…

To still wanting to hold hands. Still needing that connection.

That connection of tenderness that morphs as time continues to slip on by.

Time now closer to the end than the beginning makes each second the clock ticks even more precious.

Your hand in mine which is my rock.

The one that gently winds his fingers through mine and all that matters is this one, precious moment.

And these moments of love that flash through my mind each and every time your hand reaches for mine.

They are gifts of reminders and of never forgetting what matters most.

Thank you for subscribing to my journal posts.

Winding the Roads to Sacred Ground

Winding Roads to Sacred Grond
Holy Hill

The trees lining the winding roads in their glorious fall colors of brilliants – brilliant orange, brilliant red and brilliant yellow, were our guides as my best friend, Victoria and I drove to sacred ground in Washington county yesterday.

Adding to the sacredness of being in nature the soundtrack from On Golden Pond played in the background in the car lulling us into this connection of our souls that no words can even touch.

At one point of the soundtrack, the crescendo of melody, the trees ablaze in their spectacular color, I knew I was with my soul sister when we were both brought to tears from the glory of this beautiful world the creator made for us to enjoy.

I don’t consider myself particularly drawn to one religion, but I do believe in God. I also appreciate the many different symbols, narratives and sacred histories that work to help explain the meaning of life. I’m open to learning from each of them.

Our destination for our fall excursion is a destination many flock to in our area, and for visitors from far away too – Holy Hill – Basilica of the National Shrine of Mary.

I’ve never believed that one has to go to a church to believe in God or to have a relationship with the Divine.

But I must say that sitting in that Basilica yesterday in silence, with my best friend beside me, and the sky high ceilings, surrounded by exquisite, take-my-breath away stained glass windows, well, it was palpable.

After a few moments we walked quietly in contemplation to enter the prayer chapel with candles lit up and down either side of the outside aisles. Many were sitting in chairs with eyes closed, or gazing straight ahead at Mother Mary and child.

It was again deeply palpable. I wanted to weep, but didn’t. But what I understood was that no matter our religion or beliefs we all want the same thing. To deeply understand we are a part of something bigger, that we matter and that we are loved.

Walking the grounds, taking photos, and being in silence often with my dear friend was truly a meditation. One that made me appreciate even more this life that I have, the world that is before us, and the hope that we can all find peace within our hearts.

I posted photos of our day at Holy Hill in an album on Facebook. Come see.

Thank you for subscribing to my journal posts.