Writing a Book is Messy. Where I’m At.

Posted August 3, 2015 by Barbara Techel

I’ve heard this phrase three different times the last few weeks- “writing a book is messy.” Once in a blog post, once in a podcast and once in a webinar.

It’s exactly how I’ve felt since starting my second memoir, which I began in the winter of 2013. While there have been many rewarding moments writing it, most of the time it has been messy.

I’ve wanted to quit a thousand times.

I’ve had to learn to accept this- it has been a tug and pull much of the time. My two children’s books and my first memoir (for the most part) came much easier for me to write than this new book I’ve been working on.

A part of me wanted to share more of the process with you sooner, but the other part of me was, honestly, too afraid to say anything. Afraid I may disappoint others if I don’t finish this book.

But today I completed another round of editing of the third draft of “Wisdom Found in the Pause.” I’m feeling way more clarity about it than I have in a long time.

The book feels like two parts—the first part of my time with Joie, my second dog with IVDD and in a wheelchair, who I adopted from Oregon Dachshund Rescue. As many of you know, I had to help her cross over ten short months after she came into my life.

It threw me completely off. Though honestly, looking back, I realized I had been off for quite some time, but was too afraid to look at why.

The second part is that Joie’s death was my wake-up call to sit with all the uncomfortable feelings I had at the time. Joie’s gift while beautiful while she was here, and I got to love and care for her, her deeper gift came after she was gone.

It was then that I discovered a new definition of purpose that I’m much more comfortable with. I learned how to sit in stillness and silence. I learned to see transition as a necessary part of life.

The messy part of writing this book has been trying to convey my time of solitude which was a sabbatical for me, into a book others will want to read – but more than that – how it can help others.

But over the past three months, since devoting more time to working on the manuscript, I have more hope that his messy business of writing a book- this new book – may just turn into the real deal.

Lastly, I’ve had huge fears around the idea that this book will not be “as good as” my first memoir, Through Frankie’s Eyes. How do I top my journey with Frankie and how that book has touched many lives? That fear has stopped me in my tracks as I’ve worked through the trenches of my not-so-pretty, but real fears.

The fears are now beginning to subside. I see a journey that is still much the same, but evolving—a new way to touch other’s lives through this new book. I have hope…

and this is where I’m at.

Creativity is a crushing chore and a glorious mystery. –Elizabeth Gilbert, #BigMagic

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Rescue Dog Does Not Always Mean Abused Dog

Posted July 30, 2015 by Barbara Techel

It’s interesting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people ask me where I’ve gotten Gidget. When I tell them I got her from a rescue organization they more often than not will say, “Aw, who would abuse such a sweet dog?”

I heard the same thing when I had my dachshund Joie, also. She wasn’t abused. Her family, though they loved her very much, just couldn’t care for her with her special needs.

This was new for me, as Joie was my first dog I got from a rescue. My first two dogs were from breeders, as well as, Kylie, my Lab.

As far as a I know, Gidget wasn’t abused. Dogs in a rescue situation are there for many different reasons — and yes, some because they have been abused.

Even if Gidget would have been abused I wouldn’t want this to be the focus. I’d do my best to assure her that she is safe now and will enjoy a good life from now on.

Maybe it’s because I believe dogs sense our emotions. If a dog found their way to rescue because of abuse (and thank goodness for those that do!) I wouldn’t want that to be what I dwell on.

I’d want to make it right. To help them feel loved. To know they will always have a loving lap to lie on, and a soft pillow and warm blanket to make them comfortable….and that they will be showered with love until their last breath.

To help them let go of what was and live within the happy new place of where they are.

I also believe, for the most part, animals don’t always hold onto those bad memories. And with a little help from a loving human being, we can help them even more.

Isn’t that a great lesson our animals teach us? If we hold onto bad memories and bad things that may have happened to us, we will live in sadness and blame, for the rest of our lives…. thus missing out on really living.

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Four Year Old Twins Share in Their Own Words What Frankie Means to Them

Posted July 29, 2015 by Barbara Techel

I still recall the day.

When I knew I had to share my dachshund, Frankie’s story.

Even though I hadn’t a clue how to put a children’s book out into the world.

And I was scared. Very scared.

But the drive to make a difference pushed away the fear.

I offered my prayers up to God telling him I was up for the challenge and the work and asked for His guidance. He didn’t fail me. I didn’t fail him.

It has been seven years since I published Frankie the Walk ‘N Roll Dog.

And to this day, I still receive emails from people sharing with me how the book has touched them.

This means more to me than I can ever express adequately in words.

Today, I share with you one such reader, Danielle, who reached out to me recently to let me know how Frankie’s story has not only positively impacted her life, but the lives of her 4-year old twin girls. (Just a side note that she also refers to Cassie Jo, who was my chocolate Lab):

I’ve been reading your blog for years, and I’m finally getting around to contacting you. Why? I originally started reading your blog when Frankie was alive. My own Dachshund, Dixie, had gone down when she was 4, so your posts about Frankie were uncannily relevant to my experience and of course, inspirational.

Fast forward to today. Dixie is 15 years old. She is still going, but not as strongly as before. She continues to teeter around or use her cart. I have expressed her bladder and bowels for 11 years now. It’s our version of “normal.”

For my 4-year-old twins, normal is a dog who cannot pee or poop on her own, cannot jump, and whose non-wagging tail cannot express her joy, although she is still patient beyond belief, soulful, and our best friend.

Now that my twins are finally old enough for “Frankie, the Walk ‘N Roll Dog” I read it to them (slightly abridged). They delighted in the story of a dog that was “just like Dixie.” They were tickled that a story finally reflected their reality with their pet—they probably also felt that their reality was validated.

Through the story, they also came to understand Dixie’s experience of becoming disabled, how she endured surgery and recovery, beginning to use her cart, etc. The story helped them to connect more with Dixie and better understand my connection to this amazing being that has been a part of my life since she fit in my hand and her eyes were still closed as a puppy.

Also, through the telling of Cassie Jo’s death and later learning that Frankie has since passed on, they began bombarding me with a series of questions about the death of Cassie Jo, and pondering Dixie’s mortality. I feel they are better prepared now for Dixie’s inevitable decline and for what is certain to come within a few months.

Thank you, Barbara, for sharing your and Frankie’s story. When I read about it years ago, I never imagined how it would impact my future children.

-Danielle

And then the love icing on the cake, recorded in their own voices, messages from each of Danielle’s girls about Frankie:

Thank you, Danielle, and your beautiful girls for touching my heart.

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