I had some interesting insight yesterday morning when I sat in meditation. The more I’ve pondered it the more I’ve come to appreciate what it did.
First, a little of the back story. On Saturday afternoon my father-in-law was admitted to hospice and by 10:30 pm that evening he had made a peaceful transition. While he’d not been well for a few years now, it still felt unexpected and it all happened quite quickly.
It brought back many memories being inside the hospice facility where I paid many visits with my special wheelie dog, Frankie when we were a therapy dog team many years ago. We volunteered there for three years and the perspective I gained there was life-altering in a beautiful and profound way. One of the key lessons I learned was to ‘leave my baggage at the door’ before entering. Our job was to be one hundred percent present for the patients and families we met.
I remember how scared I initially was to do this type of work – to be with those that were dying. But what I’d come to understand, which was vital, is that they were still living. I’d come to experience being part of hospice as a true honor and privilege to be allowed into the rooms of those that were in their final stage of life.
Now I was on the ‘other side’ of things as my father-in-law was making his transition. I was among the family members as we sat vigil in his room. At one point, witnessing the deepest of compassion and caring the nurses were lovingly extending to my father-in-law and the family, I was overwhelmed with emotions. It truly is such sacred work they do.
As to be expected with all the emotions flowing it leaves a person drained of their energy. Along with the family activity the next day at the home where John grew up, the energy was running high with much that needs to be done as a funeral is planned.
Being one who needs lots of quiet time, and sensitive to energy, by Sunday evening when we returned home my energy was depleted. I was eager for Monday morning to get in some meditation time as one of my go-to’s when I need to refill my well.
I chose a meditation called, Whispering Thoughts on Inside Timer which provided ambient sounds that said it would “guide you into a state of inner calmness and bring you back to your true nature, your inner self.”
Once my thoughts quieted down, I saw my spine in my mind’s eye. It was crooked with many zig zags. I then saw my hands on either side of my spine. They started at the bottom near my tailbone and began to gently compress inward on either side of my spine. As they did this, I saw my spine begin to relax and straighten.
After several rounds of this, I then saw my hands gently smooth out my spine beginning at the top and running them along the top of my spine and extending this motion all the way to the bottom of my tailbone. This happened for several minutes.
As I’ve pondered this and how I feel today, the straightening of my spine as it came to me through meditation, which was so relaxing and soothing, was a way in which I was calming my nervous system. It also helped to restore some of the energy that had been depleted.
My meditation practice evolves and continues to teach me new things and this one I’m feeling much gratitude for. The difference in my practice these days is I have learned to trust that what is happening is real and I’ve learned that tuning into my body and taking note of how I’m feeling is a guide to help me during difficult times.
xo,
Barbara
