reflection

Navigating the Space In-Between

Posted by Barbara Techel
Navigating the Space In-Between
Pausing, Contemplating, Capturing

March… the month of transition…that in-between space. Winter still shows itself at times, but it doesn’t linger as long.  As the sun moves closer to the earth it helps usher in a tease of warmth of the promise of what is on the way.

A space of in-between is where I find myself also. Are you feeling this too? During my yoga practice Friday morning I held boat pose with a new resolved strength of determination.

As I gazed at the gully of naked trees outside my window, a Robin landed on a Sumac bush. Pecking at the dried seed, I thought how even though the bush was dormant all these months it was still providing nourishment, thus life, to the Robin.

I’ve been in this deep-seated space of inward contemplation again, peeling back layers I never thought would be part of my unfolding. At times, it’s been emotionally painful with a new recognition of how it affected my body with a deep ache.

The good news is that my willingness to look inward I was able to make the connection between my thoughts and my body. Once I did, the pain I was experiencing faded away within a few days. I’m grateful for the new awareness of how our emotions truly can affect our bodies.

The other good news is that while I’m not ready to share fully what my contemplation has been about, as I’m still navigating and integrating it all, I’ve had this tickling in my heart.

A tickling that what I’m going through may be leading to another book I will write. While I can’t say for sure at this point, I’m gathering thoughts and insights that are currently flowing through me.

There is a stirring of wanting a change in my life and this recognition of a need to honor the truth of where I am and the feelings I’m having, and how it continues to reveal itself to me. While watching the Robin fill himself with nourishment, I recognized myself in the reflection.

A moment of reflective understanding from Robin

In order to be at peace and in this space of the unknown and what lies ahead, it’s important to nourish and care for myself.  It’s something I guide my clients to do when they come to me needing help when feeling stuck as it’s vital in order to be able to move outwardly when the time is right.

Nurturing our inner world is the first step before we can take steps toward what is next for our lives. It will never come from external forces, and if it does, they are only temporary.

Feeling more empowered as I continued to hold boat pose, enveloping it as fully as possible so I could carry it with me, I came to understand something. 

As I visualize the distance along the shoreline of where I wish to head and am already on my way, I must also remain flexible, and gently tend to a space of inner calm so the flow of my life can unfold as it’s meant to.

While I trust I will reach my destination, I’ve also come to understand that I’m already there in many ways. There is no need to rock the boat.

Instead, be with the flow of the ride, stay open for signposts, and appreciate the larger waves that may try to engulf me as all part of the process.

I’m also reminded once again that within transition lie blessings waiting to be revealed. Writing another book was not on my conscious radar until now and I’m beginning to see this as an unexpected gift.

And the more I open to the idea, the more I see an authentic opportunity. And so this boat becomes my vessel to a revelation that calm waters are here now and more are on the horizon as well.

XO,

Barbara

Spirit Dog’s See Me and Help Keep the Light Shining.

Posted by Barbara Techel

barb, kylie and gidgetKylie loves her kennel. When she was a pup we trained her to be in it while we were gone. It has come to be her “happy” place. Her place to center and chill out.

To this day, when we get ready to leave, she goes in her kennel and lies down. We don’t even close the door. Often times during the day you will find her sleeping (and snoring loudly!) in her kennel.

John has dubbed it her “apartment.”  Last night Gidget and I went to “visit” Kylie at her apartment. It was very nice. She was happy to have Gidget and me over for a visit. Though she didn’t serve tea, I was happy to just be hanging out with her in her special space.

I asked John to take a picture of me hanging out with my girls. When I look at it, I see me. Meaning, I really see who I am. I feel like I can almost see my soul. Maybe this sounds silly, but I really can identify with myself when I am surrounded by my dogs. It’s this feeling of knowing deep in my heart and bones that I am one with them. That we are here to help each other.  That they love me – They see me – They accept me… That they get me.

I can be me – all of who I am – with them. No holding back. And this animal wisdom I carry with me as I move out into the world each day. It’s the light I wish to carry inside me always which I hope radiates out to others, and touches them in whatever way is meant to be right and good for them.

Reflection: I Kid You Not. This Really Happened.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_1992 eI am on day ten of the ecourse, “The Sacred Alone” facilitated by Susannah Conway.  Every morning I’ve read the essay, done the 5-minute meditation, and wrote in my journal for at least 10 minutes. Except for Sunday, when I did The Sacred Alone in the afternoon, which was a lovely change of pace for that day.

Yesterday we worked with holding beads in our hands during the meditation, so I added the beads to this small altar that has now become an unplanned altar of sorts, dedicated to the sacred alone time I’m doing.

Today’s meditation is what Susannah called, “Mirror Meditation.” I am familiar with mirror work having been introduced to it through my life coach many years ago.

But using it within a meditation was intriguing… as well as, challenging. We were encouraged to look into a mirror. I chose the one I had nearby which is a small round one as you see in the photo.

We were told to just look without making any judgment. So looking in a mirror pretty much first thing in the morning isn’t what most women would say is their favorite thing to do. But being dedicated to this ritual, I didn’t want to back down even though it felt uncomfortable at first.

Right away, forgetting what Susannah just said, I noticed my flaws, or what I really should say as “perceived” flaws. The blemish on my nose, the age spots, the dark in the corner of my eyes, my neck which wrinkles that seem to wrinkle a little more each day. While looking at my neck, in my head I heard myself say, “What is that anyways?”

Susannah guided us in the short meditation challenging ourselves to really look at ourselves kindly and with compassion. To think of someone we love and cherish as if you were looking at them, but to apply that to our own reflection. To look into our own eyes and like what we see. To say to ourselves out loud, I see you, I honor you,  I love you. It felt odd, but Susannah assured us that was okay.

After the meditation, one of our prompts for journaling was to write what came up for us when we looked in the mirror. Thinking of my friend who I adore, who I had thought of when I was looking in the mirror, I realized something.

It’s something I continue to work on within myself— to be a reflection and an example to other women to like who they are. I’m not always perfect, and am a work in progress. But this friend came into my mind and I knew it was a reminder to me to be that example not only for her, but for other women too. To like what I see. To honor myself so they too can honor themselves.

As I wrote those words, I was moved to tears. After I was done writing in my journal, as I’ve done since starting this ecourse, (though it is not actually part of the 20-minute ritual), I picked a Grace card. I pick one at random or follow my intuition. The word reflection popped in my head as I picked up the deck of cards. So I counted how many letters are in reflection and counted to card 10.

I kid you not… this is the card that came up — SELF: Go within. When we invest more energy in developing our spiritual lives, the outer world begins to take care of itself.

Goosebumps ran up and down my arms. Wow, I thought, this is amazing. I sat in awe for quite a few moments and couldn’t believe what just happened.

Then later this morning I received a text from the very same friend who I thought about while I did my mirror meditation. She sent me a photo she took of herself with her phone, looking into her mirror. It looks like her, but yet, it does not. It was so very beautiful. I wanted to cry from the shear beauty of it, but also from how connected I felt in that moment with her– as if we were seeing each others soul’s, both having done mirror work in our own way without realizing the other was doing it.  By the way, she is not taking this ecourse, so she wouldn’t have known I had just done this same thing this morning.

It was just the photo of her and no text. In some ways, I felt like I was looking at my younger self after having just done the mirror work. It felt so surreal.

I then checked my email. I subscribe to Daily Joyride, so each day I get a different quote.  This is the quote that was in my inbox:

“Tear off the mask. Your face is beautiful.” -Rumi

No denying there was absolute synchronicity going on here today. I’m still marveling in it and will likely for quite some time to come.