My Heart to Heart Connection with Frankie by Artist Margaret Hall

Posted by Barbara Techel

Years ago I remember coming across a website that designed glass jewelry where you could also have part of your pets ashes embedded in the piece. I remember thinking that would be something I would like to do someday with Frankie.

Right after Frankie’s passing I thought about that jewelry, but it didn’t feel right. All I wanted was Frankie herself. I wondered, How could a piece of jewelry heal my aching heart?

As I perused my local farmer’s and artisan market two weeks later, I walked up to artist, Margaret Hall’s beautiful table of a rainbow of colors of her beautiful glass jewelry.  We got to talking about Frankie’s passing. She also has a deep love of animals. As I was talking to her it all of a sudden hit me, Why not ask Margaret if she could design a special piece for me with Frankie’s ashes?  When I told her my idea she said, “I’d love to do it and I’m so honored you asked me.”

Even though she had never designed a piece with someone’s beloved pet’s ashes she was eager and willing to get going on it.  I scurried back home and carefully took some of Frankie’s remains from the center of the package of her cremains, where I felt sure that is where her heart was.  I took the ashes back to Margaret and we discussed colors and design. She said she would have it done by next Saturday for me to pick up.

I met with her again the following Saturday among the hustle and bustle of our popular market.  With tears in her eyes she handed me a gold box with a paw print ribbon tied around it and said, “I’m honored to present this to you.”

I was so nervous opening the box. But when I opened it I was so happy to see the perfect treasure before my eyes.  I took out the bright blue piece as Margaret explained to me: “The heart shape on the top is Frankie (her ashes) which represents heaven. Below is earth. The two “arms” extending down and back up are connecting you to Frankie and Frankie to you… always.”

She turned it over and on the back was a silver heart so our hearts would also be connected, as well as Frankie’s name written on the back.

I didn’t know what to say. The thought and love that went into this piece was just beyond words. She then handed me another gold box and said, “This is for the top of Frankie’s cremains box.” Inside was another gem with some of Frankie’s ashes.

Now I really didn’t know what to say. I was so very touched. I could barely whisper, “What do I owe you?”

“Nothing. This is my gift to you. I was so honored you asked me to do this.”

There are times in life where you feel like an angel has just appeared and graced you with the sweetest of kindness, and that is how I felt with Margaret’s amazing gifts to me. I hugged her tight and thanked her.

When I got home I placed my Frankie necklace around my neck. For me, it felt like Frankie was home— safe in my heart again. It may sound odd, but this necklace has brought me a great deal of comfort and it’s like having Frankie with me.  Though I know nothing could ever take away our bond and our deep connection, having something visible to touch, feel and hold onto when those unexpected moments come has helped me greatly.

As I visited with Margaret again this past Saturday and had our picture taken together so I could share on my blog, she overheard someone talking about Frankie’s house at Bookworm Gardens.  She said, “I want to make another piece for Frankie’s house at Bookworm Gardens.”

“What a wonderful idea, Margaret!” I said.  “But this time I insist on paying for it.”

She smiled and said, “Well, okay, but only at cost.”

I’ve had many angels in my life and I’ve learned that one must accept gracefully when those angels appear… and then pass on that grace in our own unique, and special way.

Stay tuned as I’ll share Frankie’s special gem piece on her doghouse at Bookworm Gardens in the next few weeks.

If you are interested in having a jewelry piece designed by Margaret she can be reached at 504-473-5642 or email her at marghall1 (at) earthlink (dot) net.

 

 

 

Grieving. There Is No Right Or Wrong Way.

Posted by Barbara Techel

Cassie and Frankie 2005

In a recent blog post author Jon Katz talked about the fact that people ask him everyday if he misses or mourns dogs that he has  lost. Does he cry for Rose? Does he miss Izzy?  His answer struck me in that he said the does not mourn or miss them. That it is a choice what is in his heart and he chooses to not look back and to live in the here and now. He said, “There is no missing. Only being.”

One thing I admire about Jon greatly and am learning to do myself is to really speak how I feel about things. He also does not judge others for their opinions or how they feel. Being a writer and putting himself out there he has certainly endured tough scrutiny from others when they don’t agree with him.

While I will give him what is his to feel, I just have to say after I read that post, it almost for a moment made me feel like perhaps something was wrong with me that I still miss Frankie, and still miss my chocolate Lab, Cassie Jo- both very instrumental in my life. To not miss them is not something I could easily do. If I had my way, they’d both still be here with me.  But I also know for me, there is nothing wrong with me that I miss them. And I also know that I am strong enough to move forward and enjoy the here and now, and look to the future. I hope that for others, too, and that a loss that is deep does not stop others from living their lives to the fullest.

It used to bother me when people would say after someone passed, “Well, so and so would want you to be happy.” I wondered, How did they really know that?  But when I think about myself not being here someday, I would want for those I love to be happy. I would want them to still do all the things they enjoy.  I think that with Frankie, too.  I know she wouldn’t want me to be sad for too long– that she wants me to love another weenie dog someday.  And when it comes to dogs, we all know, there are plenty out there just waiting to be loved.

So while I’m baffled at Jon not missing or mourning dogs that have passed on, I admire him for being able to say so.  And one thing I really learned when I was part of a group that helped others mourning the grief of a pet is that there is no right or wrong way to do this.  We each have to do what is right for us.  Jon’s post also gives me the courage to say, hey I’m doing pretty well, and moving forward, and enjoying the here and now, but I still sure do miss Frankie who was my partner, my friend, my teacher, my guide, and my snuggle bug…. and I’ll always miss her… but I’ll always smile when thinking of her and all she gave to me in this time and space that she did.  I’ll carry on little one…. I promise.

 

Celebrating Birthday’s. Celebrating Life.

Posted by Barbara Techel

Yes, today is my birthday. And I happen to be one of those women who loves to celebrate her birthday as well as not being afraid to say how old I am.  I’m 49 and looking very forward to turning 50 next year.  There are many who don’t make it to 49 or many who have big challenges– so I embrace my birthday and give thanks that I am here to see yet another year and that my life is pretty darn good.

Something else I’ve come to believe in the past few years is that we come through our parents– meaning we choose how we came into this world. I sure made one wise choice when I chose my parents. Though they have been divorced for what seems eons, I learn from both of them- and they have helped shape who I am. I don’t know what I’d do without my mom who is not only my mom but a best friend, too.  I can pretty much talk to her about anything– and I know how lucky I am to have that.

Though this birthday does feel a bit bittersweet not having my little Frankie at my side, I give thanks for all the birthday’s we did share together.

So what will I do today?  Well I have a massage scheduled this afternoon that was a special gift from a friend. I will also spend quality time with my yellow Lab, Kylie. I will  go out to dinner with my favorite guy on earth… and I’ve already begun collecting my 49 kisses from him. Tomorrow lunch with one of my most favorite people… yup, you Mom.  And Friday lunch with a handsome guy named my Dad.  And the grand finale will be on July 27th when I stay overnight to celebrate with my best friend whose birthday is the same day as mine. I’d say I’m one lucky gal.

So why not embrace your birthday instead of dread getting older.  There are so many good things about getting older– it’s a choice to consciously look for those things and I plan to continue to do that.  And I love what Lauren Bacall once said,”After 50 the bullshit is gone.” Though I think we can make that choice right here and now, no matter what our age to say, no more bullshit.  And as Katherine said in the movie On Golden Pond, “Life marches on Chels. I suggest you get on with it.”  So let’s get on with it and enjoy every moment!