The Courage to Let Your Dog Go

joie on the sofa

It is hard to fathom to think of ever having to let a dog go that you loved—or perhaps realized you didn’t love- or was not a good fit.

I think of that from time to time with Joie’s owner before me. The courage it took for her to say, “I can’t do this. I need to find her a new home.”

I do believe that Joie’s owner before me loved Joie very, very much. But raising four kids, along with many other responsibilities, and the fact that Joie has special needs, was just too much.

I realize not everyone will agree with me on this, that maybe Joie’s owner before me should have done all she could to take care of Joie.   But I think it took courage for her to say, “I can’t do this. Joie deserves better.”

Part of this was sparked for me because of a question author Jon Katz posted on his Facebook wall today: “Have you ever had a dog you didn’t love? I’ve had one, maybe two. Can you explain?  Is it okay to acknowledge that you don’t love a dog and seek a better home for him or her?”

There are some interesting comments around this.  I can’t imagine having to say that I didn’t love a dog,  or they aren’t the right one for me, as I think I’d be heart broken, but it does happen.

I think more importantly the fact that these people were honest and said they didn’t love the dog or realized they weren’t a good fit together- the dog would be better off in a new home.  I do give people credit for doing this—to give the dog a better life.  While yes, we have so many who are just left abandoned or given up without a care or a thought, and that is heartbreaking. But I’d rather see someone take the high road of responsibility and do all that they could to find that dog the right home.

Maybe this is hard to all understand because we would never think of doing this with our kids (though sadly that is done too). But I do believe dogs are different in this sense. I’ve witnessed that with Joie. I was so worried she would miss her family before me, especially the kids. She was used to that. Now she was coming to a home with no kids. Would that be hard for her?

But Joie seamlessly fit into our lives as if she was meant to be here.  I’m still so amazed at how well she adjusted.  And how could I be nothing than extremely thankful for the gift of her?  Every day I am so grateful for the courage it took for Joie’s family before me to let her go.

So I do realize this is a sensitive issue and not everyone may agree, but I do welcome your thoughtful comments.

Do You Listen to Your Soul?

IMG_1439 650We woke up to an icy morning after alot of rain overnight and thunderstorms.  I took some photos at lunch time-this one I added the new “light trails”effect in Picmonkey.

Rest of photos on Facebook.

I recently had a deep conversation with a friend. I love deep thinkers. Thinking outside things that sometimes don’t make sense, but in actuality it may be our soul trying, sometimes begging, to tell us.

As she shared her fascinating and intriguing story, my heart leapt back to a memory a few years ago. I don’t recall if I’ve shared this on my blog or not, so forgive me if I have.  But when I realized I wanted to write my book Through Frankie’s Eyes I felt myself struggling to begin. Something was holding me back. It was odd, because I really wanted to write the story, but there was just something tugging on my heart.

After talking with a friend she referred me to her friend who is a holistic healer.  Interestingly enough (though I call it synchronicity) I had met this same woman years ago at a writing conference. We would then meet again as I helped her with questions for writing her own children’s book. Now her name popped up yet again as someone who could maybe help unblock what was holding me back.

I really had no idea what to expect as I made the hour drive to see her. I was a bit nervous, but I was also open.

After talking for a little bit she then had me lie on a massage table. She put her hand on my heart and a hand cupped on my left ear. She then guided me into a meditation. I felt myself fighting the process at first, wondering how in the world this was going to help me.

Soon enough though I decided I wanted to trust the process because I really wanted the help. As she guided me into the meditation she had me pick a favorite spot I love to be. I told her I was on the deck of our house. It was summer. I could see my writing cottage and all the pretty flowers by the  front door. I then moved down into the little garden that is a few feet off the steps of our deck.

She said, “Is anyone else with you?”

I said, “Yes.”

“Who is it?”

“I’m afraid to say.”

“Is it an angel?”

“No.”

“I see only feet and they have sandals on.”

“It’s okay. You can share who it is.”

I was hesitant and questioning if this was who I was really seeing- was it real?

Finally I said, “I see God.”

Though I didn’t see a face. For me I take that as my wondering if God is male or female or just is. I don’t really know the answer to that.

I felt safe in that place with my God.  She continued the questions asking what my fears were.

It suddenly rose up in me and I felt myself ready to burst out crying. I knew the answer. Again, I was afraid to say. Afraid if I did, it would come true.

But I finally said the words I didn’t want to speak out loud, “I’m afraid if I write this book, Frankie will die.”

My heart was beating so fast the minute I said it and put it out there, while at the same time I felt this huge relief.

It came flooding back  again as my friend was sharing with me what her soul may be trying to tell her.  I didn’t want to begin the book about my life with Frankie because I truly believed my soul knew she would leave shortly after I finished the manuscript. I somehow let myself believe that if I didn’t begin, I could keep her with me forever.

As most of you know, she is with me in a new way– and a way in which I’ve evolved even further into my spiritual belief’s. She knew exactly the right time to move on and she knew when she did we would always be connected.

I’m so glad my friend helped remind me of this powerful experience I had years ago, because as I reflect on it today I find a great peace with it. It is also a reminder, I think, to listen to our heart… listen to our soul. Listen very deeply as the answers truly do lie there.

On this weeks Joyful Paws Blog Tour I’m featured on Linda Hoye’s blog,  A Slice of  Life Writing. I invite you to stop by and check out my guest post, “Trust the Writing Process – Trust Your Writing Process.”

Fundraiser for Bookworm Gardens & The Frankie Wheelchair Fund

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barb-and-frankie-bwg

On May 4th Joie and I will be leading a walk  in memory of my dear Frankie the Walk ‘N Roll Dog whose legacy lives on in Bookworm Gardens— a children’s garden dedicated to literacy, nature, and bringing families together.

This is a special event called “Walk, Roll, and Read Day” to help celebrate the season opener for Bookworm Gardens, as well as the life of Frankie. Bookworm Gardens is free to the public to attend, so this fundraiser will help to keep it free to everyone visiting.

Bookworm Gardens has been so supportive of my work with Frankie and will be donating a portion of the proceeds raised on May 4th to the Frankie Wheelchair Fund. As you can imagine this makes my heart sing!

Joie and I are asking you to consider pledging us for our walk to help Bookworm Gardens and the Frankie Wheelchair Fund. Please don’t feel obligated. But if you have $1.00, $5.00, or $10  to spare we thank you for your pledge!

You can make a pledge below through your Paypal account or with a credit card (for credit card click on “Don’t have Paypal Account?” link which takes you to page to fill out name, etc.)

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Joie is training hard for the walk and roll event and in case you missed the video here it is again!