Something came even more fully into my awareness this past weekend with all that is happening in our world right now.

While I knew this in many ways about myself, it has in one sense caused me great inner angst the past three days, it has also challenged me to dig even deeper into what my values are – and how I can use my gifts to instill change, and do my part in helping create more lasting peace.

I didn’t join the women’s march in my local area. Instead, I listened to the coverage. I also tuned into the inauguration, and with both, I did so with an open mind. And honestly, I had so many emotions watching both, some feelings whirling quite wildly, some confused, some saddened, some worried, some frightened, some concerned, some angry, and even among all those emotions, I still felt hope.

And I’m still feeling hope, but also many of the mixed feelings remain too – and I’m striving for a soft place to land in my heart. This, I know, I’m not alone in. I’ve struggled with how to share my feelings here on my blog, or if I even wanted to. Afraid of confrontation, but yet, feeling called to express myself in a way that feels right for me.

I applaud each and every person on this planet that exercises their right to speak their truth with respect and honor. This – respect and honor – kept coming up for me time and time again over the weekend – how these two values, so important to me, were present in many passionate speeches on Saturday with the coverage of the women’s march, but sadly in some cases, weren’t – well, at least, I should say, from my point of view. In part, I was disappointed with myself for thinking how could I be so naïve?  We are all human – and we are all deeply flawed – and I absolutely include myself in this.

I find myself struggling with not wanting to fall into judgement because for the truth that we indeed are all flawed. The great angst for me, and what has come more fully into view, is how very sensitive I really am to all that is coming undone, which for me means that tears come easily and often.

I realized that I had, and will continue to, process all of these emotions. And this is key I believe that we each have to do what feels right for each of us in helping us move through this unsettling time.

The call – more urgent now than ever for each of us to dig in and go within, find our voice, and express it in a way in which we feel most confident….and finding a way in which we can find that soft place to land within our hearts for reflection, renewal, and moving back out into the world again each day.

One thing I did after watching the inauguration was to tune into a prayer vigil offered by a fellow SoulCollage® facilitator.

She, a spiritual mentor, gathered together a reverend, another who practices Native American tradition, and another open to many views of faith – plus anyone else on the call who wished to offer up thoughts, prayers, or meditation—all with different backgrounds and of all colors. It was so soothing to my soul, and helped me to release much negative and worried energy that was feeling stuck, and was pulling me downward, draining me.

And it’s my hope that others will find a way in which to go inward, whether in prayer, or meditation, or walking in nature, or whatever it may be – but something to bring you back to center – to ground you – so that we move forward, and continue to, in conscious, passionate, helpful, positive thought and not anger, blame or shame.

I also found solace in shamanic teacher and visionary Sandra Ingerman thoughts:

“We must experience all the feelings coming up for us and then we must do our spiritual work to hold the light. Otherwise we have no power to create positive change. Let us stand together and shine.
I know what I am asking is not easy.
But we cannot feed the anger, hate, and separation. What we feed grows!

This was, at that moment when I read this, a soft place for me to land and simmer in for a moment, but I know it isn’t going to remain – it will ebb and flow —and that is where I believe the real work is – to revisit it often and find a way to work through our own inner turmoil.

There should be no judgement on whether one marched or did not, or that it makes one less than or not…though that is the dark side of what comes up as I’ve, and many others, have been witnessing in some of the news outlets and social media. Though to be fair, there is so much good being expressed too and those are the places and people I find solace and solidarity with to keep moving forward in a positive direction.

This is our chance to practice true peace – true humanity – in that we each have something of value to offer — whether you marched or not, agree or disagree with our current president — but to practice kindness and peace with each and every person you come in contact with — and to do our very best to really open, become aware, and really listen to each other.

Whether we stand together as so many on Saturday did, or we stand within our own sacred space as one, holding the collective energy of wanting true and lasting peace for all, it all matters, and makes a difference. And I really do believe we all truly want the same thing.

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