What is it, I wonder, that has me so weepy? I was weepy last night and again, I am this morning. It feels like a bittersweet weepy.
Today I am having lunch with a soldier. In anticipation of today I couldn’t get this out of my mind last night, so I sat and wrote this:
Unexpected
Baby boy, 6/22/1972
Nick named Ke Ke
Cute as a bug
Adored by two sister’s
Unexpected boy of his own
Troubled
Searching
Married
A little girl of his own
Divorced
Troubled
Searching
New Wife
New Family
Searching
39 years old
A dream
Boot camp
National Guard
Pending deployment
Determined
Proud
Honorable
Courageous
Committed
Brave
My Brother, A Soldier
Departure, February
Kuwait
Standing Tall
My heart weeps while swells all at the same time with pride
Be safe… and know you are loved…
***************************************************
This is a time line in my mind of how I see how my brother Keith’s life has unfolded to date.
My brother and I are nine years apart. Because of the age difference, I’ve never really felt all that involved in his life. But I feel we are so much alike. I see his cute little face clearly in my mind as a little boy- and oh, how my sister and I adored that little guy.
My little brother who we adoringly called Ke Ke when he was little
Today I’m having lunch with him before he heads overseas to Kuwait. Yes, the war is officially over, but yet this is a risk. A risk that I think, is why my heart feels so weepy.
But I also know this has been a dream of his… to be in the National Guards. At the age of 38 he went after that dream- went through boot camp with the young ones- and I imagine learned a lot about himself in the process.
How many of us can say we went after our dream– dared to risk it all– to live from our heart? That is why I am so proud. It’s not always an easy thing to do. It takes courage, no matter what your dream.
So my heart weeps with utter joy and pride, but also a bit of apprehension for the mission ahead of him.