Dear Gidget,
I completed the final page— the dedication page— of my manuscript, I’m Fine Just the Way I am.
I know you heard my words of dedication to you as I typed them because I felt your presence all around and within me.
Do you have any idea how often I’ve thought of you in the last six months? My favorite picture of you still sits on my altar. I look at it often and talk to you.
While at times it has been an ache of missing you physically, it has also been a time of deepening in gratitude that has filled and expanded my heart for all you taught me and helped me through.
I look out the window next to my writing desk and the heart-shaped stone marker that marks your resting place is buried underneath the snow.
But I know it’s there. Just like I know you will always be a part of me.
The other morning on my walk I witnessed you as a crow. I knew it was you because as I watched the crow walk along on the grass with the most endearing wobble, giddy-up in his gait, I thought of you and my heart smiled.
I watched as you then flew up to the top of the building and I felt you with me as I continued on my journey back home. This is what you did for me when you were here on earth – you guided me back home to myself.
I’ve been thinking about what others often say and that when we lose someone we feel like they took a part of our hearts with them. I understand what they mean.
But I’ve also come to believe and feel in my heart this expansion and deepening from the love I was so blessed to share with you. My way of honoring you is to continue to do my best to live in that space of expansiveness.
I wouldn’t be who I am today without you and all I learned from you as my Master Teacher and Healer.
I still marvel at moments at how such a tiny dog in stature as you were carried the depth of wisdom as you did.
Our destiny was written in the stars, this I know.
For walking beside me through the darkest of times, your devotion to me never wavered. And though I now walk alone without you, I’m truly never alone as your spirit resides within me. And it is that essence of you that I’ll always be grateful for.
XO