Grief is not in the present moment, it is our perception. ~Lisa Wimberger, Founder of Neurosculpting Institute
I recently took part in a Neurosculpting session gifted to me by my friend Connie who is a facilitator of the process. She reached out to me after the passing of Gidget with this lovely gesture.
The definition in short from Neurosculpting Institute website is: “Neurosculpting® is a 5-step meditation process that can strategically help an individual release the grip of old patterns and entrain their brain to creating new and more supportive patterns, habits and behaviors.”
A session is about quieting the flight/fight response, focusing on curiosity within the front part of the brain (pre-frontal cortex), engaging both sides of the brain (actually toggling between the two so you don’t stay stuck and utilizing both in achieving balance), creating a link as a reminder by tapping a part of the body, and giving the experience a name to return to when you find yourself back in flight or fight mode.
In regards to the brain, we either spend most of our time in the left side (logical and analytical) or right side (creativity and arts). I tend to be in the right side of my brain and feel most comfortable there. Many of us don’t give enough attention to the front part of our brain which helps us work with, and through, our emotions.
For my session, we focused on grief because of the recent passing of my dog, Gidget.
I’m not going to go into all the details of the session as I wanted most to share how the quote above really struck me and still stays with me: Grief is not in the present moment, it is our perception.
Our past stories, just like grieving the loss of someone we love, we can easily stay trapped there. Connie shared that grief comes with a story, a history, and an energy.
I admit that connecting the thought of being in the present moment, which I continue to strive for, and linking it to grief is one my mind has to really concentrate on to take in.
I am grieving what was (my past) and wondering what is next (my future now looks different than what I thought it would).
I thought Gidget was going to be with me for many more years. Her death felt so sudden. My brain tries to make sense of it, but in reality, there is nothing to make sense of.
If I stay in the present moment, the past is complete with Gidget. My future is not yet known, thus I only have right now. And in this right now I can choose to be sad, happy, negative or grateful.
There is no changing that Gidget is gone. I’ll never see her again. But I can be with the teachings, the joy, and the love of who she is right here in this present moment. This makes me smile and fills my heart with happiness.
By association, Connie took me through different stages during guided meditations. One of which was permission. Within the permission meditation, I associated it with the color yellow. I then saw an image of me as a little girl in a yellow dress riding my bike. To me, yellow represents joy. I tapped my hand on my heart as a way in which to remember I can give myself permission to experience joy.
For grief, I saw it as the color of gray and like a fog. I put it in an old-fashioned candy jar to contain it, yet I could still see and recognize it for what it is. When I feel anxious about grief I feel it in my stomach area, so I tapped there to release it.
The color I chose to represent the future was red which for me represents freedom. The song that popped into my head was Let freedom Ring by Martina McBride. “Let the white dove sing” which is a line in the song, I associated with the fact that my future is free from carrying the grief with me to the point that it would prevent me from being happy and continuing to move forward.
Just revisiting my notes from this experience I feel lighter in spirit and know that I don’t have to stay trapped in sadness. I honor all the feelings, but I also allow them to flow through me, instead of consuming me.
So this quote, when I sit and simmer in it makes perfect sense. While grief is real, we must honor it for the gift it gives us in that we were also able to experience love. And love is something we can choose to feel in the present moment.
I realized today also that the gift of grief and feeling my heart cracked open from the loss of Gidget, I am so much more aware of what matters. The birds, the flowers, the trees, the sun, my gardens, my life with John, and I could go on….but I have so much to be grateful for.
XO,
Barbara
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