Within the last three months, five people I know have lost their beloved dogs.
My heart goes out to them as they grieve these special and deeply touching relationships with their canine friends.
I’ve not had a dog for almost four years now. Though I’m happy to share that will change this year. My last dachshund, Gidget, I had to say goodbye to the day before Mother’s Day. Never having had children, there was a great deal of significance connected to that day for me and her passing.
While painful at the time, it turned out to be a gifted blessing in disguise as it helped heal a wounded part of me. I wrote about this in my latest memoir, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am – Healing Emotional Pain through the Wisdom of Animals and Oracles.
We’ve certainly learned more about the grieving process over the years and that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Having been through grief with the dogs I’ve loved over the years, I know that each of us is unique in our healing journey. Each process of going through a loss is to be honored with respect and love.
I’m recalling a few years ago when the box that held the ashes of my first special needs dachshund, Frankie, had me pausing and giving thought to what they actually represented for me.
Holding what was left of her contained within that box it came flooding into my awareness that this wasn’t really her. While yes, what was physically left, the soul of her had long ago moved on.
But the love and deep bond we shared is still here. This love is permanently etched into my heart. I carry it with me everywhere I go. This truly rewarding connection I shared with her shaped my life for the better.
With this new understanding, I knew it was time to release Frankie’s ashes. So it was with great care that I gently opened the box, stepped outside, and slowly scattered her ashes among the flowers and shrubs outside my Joyful Pause Cottage studio, where she spent much time with me.
There was a newfound freedom in that I felt I had set her free and given her back to our sacred planet. There was also a welcome and open space within that the love we shared would forever be a part of me – even without the attachment I’d felt for so long of wanting to keep her physical ashes.
Again, grieving is so individual. But it’s important to honor all our feelings no matter when the loss occurred. I truly believe when we can process our grief, and feel all the emotions of it, that we can arrive at a place of happy memories that flood us more often than the pain of loss.
I’ve had the honor of holding space for those grieving the loss of a pet through the oracle readings and healing sessions I provide. It’s an intimate and sacred opportunity to:
· Give voice to the grief.
· Calm the worries that sometimes have us wondering what could have been done differently.
· Helps us give thought to a way in which we can honor our pet.
· Helps us to see that in time we will experience peace once again.
· Gifts us with another level of appreciation for this special bond we share between humans and pets.
Over the years I’ve grown in my understanding of the connection between this physical world and the spiritual. And that those we have loved, whether human or animal, are still here, but in a different form, and that we can still connect with them.
Gidget especially helped me deepen this understanding. At times, I still feel her presence while at other times she has come through when doing readings for myself, and with what feels like her ‘signature’ card from the Wisdom of the Oracle- Loyal Heart – as that was a way that even when alive, she’d sometimes ‘speak’ to me.
The two owls looking at each other represent for me in that Gidget so often reflected what I couldn’t always see in myself, and that I was worthy just as I am despite my past wounds.
As I come to a close in sharing my thoughts on the loss of a pet, I turn once again to oracle cards with two questions for those grieving the loss of an animal friend.
1. What is the first step we can take to help in the process of coping and recovering from the loss of a beloved animal companion?
UNFINISHED SYMPHONY (from Wisdom of the Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid)
The essential meanings of this card are unfinished business; an incomplete lesson, lack of closure; the need to make amends.
I see this card as reflecting that as a culture we are taught to suppress our feelings. How we have often put a time constraint on grieving or that there is a certain way in which we should grieve. Though that has and continues to, change.
The figure sitting atop the egg appears to be sad and in a state of melancholy as a reminder to not run from processing our emotions, but rather to honor them as part of the healing process.
The egg, in which the figure sits, is in many cultures symbolic of fertility, eternity, and the circle of life.
When we don’t allow ourselves the time and space to process our grief, while we may not consciously realize it, we leave ourselves feeling incomplete.
This can block us from welcoming joy back into our lives. And the reality is that the circle of life is truly all about beginnings and endings – and welcoming them both – which gives us the opportunity to live full and enriching lives.
2. What message do our pets most want us to know?
VULTURE – Poised (from Animal Reflections Healing Oracle by Barbara Techel)
I think about how often Vulture gets such a bad rap. But they so beautifully depict for us that everything serves a purpose.
Did you ever watch how a vulture glides through the air taking advantage of the thermals in the wind? I see this as your pet reminding you to go with the flow of life.
There is and will continue to be, much joy for you to experience, while it’s also vital to allow sadness to be part of your experience too. Without loss, we wouldn’t fully know joy. And vice-versa. Both are necessary.
Vulture reminds us that every change serves a purpose and that nothing is wasted. From grief, we learn to be with those uncomfortable and difficult feelings, and when we allow ourselves to embrace wholeheartedly these emotions, we can more easily find our way back to fondly recalling all the happy moments we shared with our dear animal companions.
Our pets want us to know that we are poised to do this and that there is empowerment that comes with owning all of what we feel. This then allows new opportunities to come into our lives.
And I truly believe, our pets want us to continue to love and experience life to the fullest.
After the loss of my dachshund, Sophie I needed help to cope with the grief and guilt I was feeling. Barb was very compassionate and thorough throughout the entire process of the session. I found it to be accurate and inspiring along with the helpful information I received from before, during, and after the session. ~Sarah & Sophie
If you’d like support with the loss of a pet through a one-to-one oracle reading and healing session click here.
XO
Barb