We have been in a deep freeze for about four days now. It’s expected to last for about another five days. Waking up to windchills in the -30 degree range has meant no walking outside for me. The week before we had snow on and off which also made walking outside a bit dicey so I didn’t get outside much then either.
Yesterday I could feel it beginning to wear on me. It was a reminder of how much better I feel when I can connect directly with the air, the sun, the trees, and the world around me in a more tangible way. Feet hitting the ground, inhaling fresh air into my lungs, and the sun warming my face is still better than working out on my Pilates machine equipment. Though I’m grateful to have it as a backup.
It’s interesting how I’ve shifted over the years. When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I could go days on end in weather like this and enjoy the feeling of being cocooned. But now if I go too long without being in nature, I feel it as a heaviness in my energy.
The fact it’s been almost one year since our world turned upside down with the pandemic and restrictions were put in place has impacted how I move about in my little world too. This has added an extra layer of wishing to get out, but nowhere to really go, on top of feeling some loneliness at times.
While I’m a person who needs much alone time as I’ve shared here before, I’ve been realizing just how much I miss having an impromptu coffee or lunch date with a friend. Though I did venture out last Thursday to meet a friend for coffee. It was absolutely delightful and renewed my soul in a way I’d not felt in a long time!
So I had to remind myself a few times yesterday that the feelings of heaviness I was experiencing would eventually pass. I told myself to meet myself where I was at and allow myself to just be as I needed to.
I awoke again today feeling like I was still carrying a heavy cloak around me, but I put one foot in front of the other. While I didn’t do a full workout on my Pilates machine, I again honored that I didn’t feel like pushing myself and just did what felt right.
As I sat at my vanity and got ready for the day, I glanced out my bedroom patio doors to see a bunny hop onto our deck. She was hungry and was taking advantage of the extra birdseed I’ve been scattering during these frigid days. Then along came a handful of Junco’s hopping along the cold deck boards snatching up seed to fill their stomachs and keep them warm.
Just being in their presence, only a few feet away, I felt my energy start to shift. A half-hour later when I got out to my Joyful Pause Cottage I saw the mixed media collage I’d begun yesterday waiting for me on my art table. Normally I would work on this in the afternoon but felt a niggle that a change was in order.
The sun, filtering through the wispy clouds, brought extra light through the window and feeling excited to continue to work on the collage, both beckoned me to honor the nudge and follow the flow that was calling to me. As I sat down at my workspace, I grabbed a colored pencil and began to color in the image. As the sun warmed one side of my face, I felt another uptick in my energy.
While I’d struggled to put the collage together yesterday afternoon wanting to get it to where I felt it was right, today it magically unfolded and came together with virtually no effort. What a welcome feeling! It was then that I looked up to see that a Woodpecker had come for breakfast.
I paused to watch him and felt a big wave of loving energy rush through my heart.
How easily we can get lost and think things will never change or that we are all alone in our feelings or our physical being for that matter. But we are never alone.
Working on the collage piece along with Woodpecker alive and well outside my window reminded me that we are always connected. It’s just that sometimes we have to pause and take the time to make a conscious intention. And just like that, it didn’t feel like effort at all, but the most natural thing in the world.
And the animal inspiration didn’t end here…
After I finished writing this post I went into the kitchen for some lunch. Glancing out the window, something caught my eye high in the sky. At first, I thought it was a vulture, but there were no other vultures around. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was an eagle. I rarely see them, so this was a most welcome and special treat.
I took delight in watching him glide effortlessly through the sky. I then heard a quote in my mind from Dr. Wayne Dyer (had he come in the form of Eagle?), “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
It was true and just what I’d experienced with what had unfolded from being with the rabbit, the Junco’s, the Woodpecker, and also lost in the creative process.
And then to complete the wisdom, I heard, “and this is what it means to be free.”
XO
Barb
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