Expectations are disappointments under construction. – Joan Anderson
Image a world where we didn’t have expectations? I truly believe it would be a world with way fewer struggles. More acceptance of each other and happier souls walking this planet.
Ever notice when you go into a situation with expectations? How often are you disappointed? What if we just opened ourselves to possibilities instead of trying to control everything around us?
I can’t stop thinking about this quote ever since I read it in Joan’s newsletter yesterday. It really resonates with me. How many times I’ve caused myself angst because of how I expected something to turn out. There are so many. But as a woman who is a work in progress, I am getting better at not disappointing myself. Because I know I am to blame when this happens.
But being a woman in progress means I get to start fresh again the next time. I have a new opportunity to not set myself up for disappointment.
One example that came flying to the forefront of my mind was when Frankie became paralyzed. There was no other option in my mind of expectations but for her to walk again. I couldn’t fathom her having to live the rest of her life in a wheelchair. You know how much sadness and grief that caused me? But looking back on it today, I wouldn’t change a thing. I grew exponentially from that experience.
My expectations in this situation led me to becoming a better human being. I learned so much about myself in the process and changed in ways I never thought possible. So even though expectations can cause us great angst, I also think they can be wonderful opportunities to learn and to see that letting go of control will improve our well being.
I would have never met Jackson, who also has special needs, if not for Frankie. She positively effected the life of Jackson helping him feel better about himself.
What I appreciated that Joan shared also is that expectations are really our ego trying to get the best of us. We make expectations all about ourselves. We try to control circumstances so that we don’t have to face a fear we may have or so that we can remain happy in all situations.
That is what I did with Frankie, not wanting her initially to be in a wheelchair. It was because of how I felt I would be judged. How I worried that others may think I was cruel for putting my dog in a wheelchair. My own insecurity about myself and my self image played huge into this equation.
Thankfully, as many of you know who have followed my blog since Frankie, I came to my senses. This was about a sweet, gentle creature who needed my help and deserved to live a happy, quality life. Throwing my expectations out the window opened up a path for me that I never planned or saw coming. What a ride it was and I’m so grateful.
If I had stayed in the place of expectations, not accepting Frankie needed a wheelchair, I would have never met all the wonderful kids I did. Thousands of kids are now part of my heart forever.