Embracing the Dark Brings Rewards

The sound of birds woke me at 4:45am.

Huh? Wait. I don’t normally hear the birds this time of year.

It was my husband’s alarm clock. He was the early bird and was up before his alarm and had forgotten to shut it off.

I couldn’t fall back asleep.

I got up dragging a bit of dread with me as I didn’t want to be up this early.

But then I got a little excited about embracing my walk that would now be in the dark, though a part of me felt some trepidation.

After some breathing exercises and half a cup of coffee I was out the door by five after six.

The unusually warm winds fiercely blowing and I had to hold onto my hat at times.

The soft glow of lights inside the homes I passed by made me feel cozy.

I was all alone in my little town.

Not a soul in sight.

It felt oddly comfortable.

Little ole me embracing the dark.

I thought about how I’ve learned to be more open to the dark the older I’ve gotten – literally and emotionally.

Approaching my home, just as light was beginning to fill the sky I saw my Joyful Pause/Paws Cottage studio glowing in her own right.

I was home. And I felt at home within myself too as I did something that scared me a little by walking in the dark.

My reward was seeing the soft light pouring from my cottage and how the dawn always reminds me that there is light even in the darkest moments.

XO

Barb

    

And I Begin Again

And I begin again, yet another idea that danced into my head.

Not sure where it will go.

Or if it will even turn out.

But I know I want to add animals around the base of this forest fairy as I’m calling her.

Inspired by my admiration for St. Francis of Assisi.

XO

Barb

    

Graceful Spinner & Spider

It was “Graceful Spinner” that tugged at my heart.

This term is a translation to describe a minor planet that was discovered in our galaxies in 1997 called Chariklo.

While I’m not an expert in astrology, I enjoy exploring what the planets, signs, and houses have to offer that help paint a picture of who I am and qualities I wish to hone in on.

In Greek Mythology Chariklo was wife to Chiron – who was known as the wounded healer. We all have Chiron in our birthchart which helps us to understand what we are here to heal.

But Chariklo intrigued me which led me to purchase a guided meditation called Chiron and Chariklo – An Inner Journey, from astrologer, Melanie Reinhart.

In the meditation we are invited by Chiron to sit alone in a cave, but I felt nervous to be there by myself. But then we were guided to notice the crystal walls. They were so beautiful!

As I was loving the sparkle and brightness of the cave it was then I felt the presence of a large brown spider. Recluse is the word that came to mind and I wondered if that was a type of spider.

But I felt some fear having spider in the cave with me. I wanted to turn away. But then all of a sudden I noticed the center of the spiders body was the most lovely aqua colored gem. This brought me comfort. Spider then faded away and I was left holding this aqua gem in my hand.

A day later I did some research about Chariklo to discover the translation of her name as Graceful Spinner. The article also mentioned to think of this in terms of Grandmother Spider – symbolic as the Great Weaver.

I then found that yes, there is a type of spider called Recluse. Known for its solitary nature and symbolic of the importance of quiet introspection and self-reflection. And spider showing up in a dream or as in my case during the inner journey, is generally a symbol of internal struggle.

Spider – Great Weaver and Chariklo – Graceful Spinner – then became inspirations for me to dig deeper.

Some of the qualities of Chariklo as noted in an article by Melanie Reinhart is that she has the ability to witness and hold sacred space for those in transition – whether literally or dealing with challenges in life. She is often seen as doing the “invisible work.”

And this has been an internal challenge of mine of late. This invisible work for me is about the inner work I continue to do for myself, but how often it can feel like it isn’t seen and not valued in society as I wish it was. But something I can’t not do even though it isn’t easy at times, because the rewards from it have helped me to find more peace and acceptance in myself.

Recluse Spider also represents patience, resilience, and self-protection, and one who can also regenerate lost limbs.

I realized in my inner work how often it is that I am embodying the energy of Chariklo – holding sacred space for myself – and Spider – who helps me weave together the many aspects of who I am. This takes patience and resilience and how important it is to have boundaries to protect oneself when doing the inner work. And from this space Spider helps us to open to the lost parts of ourselves and when we acknowledge them we are able to feel more whole.

And the aqua gem I was left holding in my hand during the meditation? The color symbolizes freedom, liberation of the soul, and guides one toward self-discovery.

Thank you, Chariklo and Spider for helping me through my sometimes feeling alone and not feeling seen and reminding me that what I am doing is important and that it does make a difference in the world.

Once this piece is complete I’ll share in a new blog post in case you are interested in purchasing this.

XO

Barb