authenticity

Pretty Verses Beautiful… and P.S. I’m Still Here and Not Going Anywhere!

Posted by Barbara Techel

kylie looking out s

First and foremost, I just want to apologize for scaring some of you yesterday with my post that said I was saying goodbye and what sounded like I would no longer be here writing.

But, whew, as you did come to discover as you read my post, I decided to now call this place I call home for my writing on the big wide world web, my journal, instead of my blog. It really speaks so much to the heart of who I am and how I want to expand on what I share here with you.

I must say though, you all warmed my heart with your comments and your enthusiasm for my new beginnings in calling this my journal. A place where yes, I’ll continue to share what I learn from my animals, but also will delve into other topics that intrigue me, and yes, sometimes wake me at night and keep me awake all night long!

Like many, I have oodles of thoughts that go through this head of mine every day. Sometimes it is quite noisy in here, so writing helps me get it out. In the process, it is my hope to continue to inspire and encourage you and others to listen more often to your own inner voice and live from that place that is authentically you — because I believe that when you do, you create a meaningful life for yourself.

So without further ado, I wanted to share one of my random thoughts that came to me at five this morning.

Words can mean so many different things to so many different people. I was thinking of the word pretty verses the word beautiful.

What instantly came to mind is that beautiful seems to encompass so much more than the word pretty.  In some ways the word pretty seems superficial to me.

When I think of someone who is beautiful, being pretty can play into it, but most often it is who they are as a whole – when I can see someones inner light glowing from the inside, out. Someone whose character speaks to the truth of who they are. That they aren’t concerned with the outside worlds thoughts, but following what it is that brings them joy.  This is so beautiful when you get to see this in someone.

Thinking back to my younger days in my 20s and 30s, I so wish I had understood the wisdom of beautiful and hadn’t got so caught up in society’s standard of pretty, trying to achieve and maintain that. It was exhausting.

My English yellow Labrador, Kylie, is another definition of beautiful to me. While yes, I think she is quite pretty, but then I may be biased (grin), I also see her soul when I look into her eyes.

And even better?  I feel her soul which is all about gentleness, kindness, sweetness, forgiveness, and love. She exudes it every moment of every day.

But when I see someone who I know is living from the heart of who they are there is nothing more beautiful, I think. It makes me think of artist, Marie Wulf. I admire her greatly not only for her deep love of all animals, but how she moves to the beat of her own drum. Every time I see a photo of her, I can see her true, inner light. It makes me smile and encourages me to continue to be who I am.

My artist friend, Marie is another person I think is beautiful because she is so, well, so Marie! I also think of Kathryn Hepburn, artists, Katie Daisy and Brianna Brunsell, and so many more.

And then it surely does go to the saying that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” But I think it worth giving thought to what it is we find beautiful and when we do, I think it helps lead us down the path of what it is that matters most. At least this has, and continues to be the case for me.

The more I let the loud noise of society’s expectations and definitions of pretty and beautiful fade away, the more my inner world matches my outer world, and I see beauty in a way that adds to my definition of living a meaningful life.

Please feel free to leave a comment…

On Being a Mush Bucket and Why Mine is Overflowing.

Posted by Barbara Techel

Me-And-Simon-Come-Out-With-A-Kiss-944x629One of my favorite photos of Jon and his donkey, Simon

Hello. My name is Barbara Techel and I am a mush bucket.

Years ago when I heard a friend of mine describe herself in this way, I knew this was me too.

What is a mush bucket you ask?

Someone who gets teary-eyed whether they are happy or sad. It comes at times most unexpectedly or in situations you wish perhaps it didn’t. Like a mid-life hot flash, it just shows up. No call. No warning. There you are in the middle of it with nowhere to hide.

We find it difficult to hide our emotions. We wear them most clearly on our sleeve, and there is quite a bit that can move us to tears.

This week my mush bucket has been overflowing.

My all time favorite author, Jon Katz, underwent bypass surgery yesterday. When the news hit last week that he would be having this surgery, I was quite emotional. Today, learning that he made it through with flying colors, had the tears welling up in my eyes again.

So some may consider this silly. All emotional over a man I’ve never really hung out with. I’ve been to a few of his book signings, enjoying his talks, and have read every one of this books.

But it is his words that have taken up residence in my heart that make me look at life often times in a different way and appreciate it in a way I may not have considered.

I’m grateful for his authenticity and honesty of living the life of a writer, alongside his artist wife, Maria. Among the chickens, donkeys, barn cats, sheep and dogs he shares a life of meaning and simplicity.

His blog has become daily food for my soul. Almost without fail I read it Every. Single. Day.

With this scare of Jon perhaps not having made it through the surgery, I thought about how hard it would be to never see a blog post from him again.

Though that had my eyes welling up for a moment, I realized that his words will always be a part of me, and the sad emotion turned to grateful.

I’ve evolved and grown because of many thoughts he has so openly shared. I feel more secure in who I am through the wisdom of his own struggles he has so bravely shared on the page and in his posts.

So, yes, I am a mush bucket. I’m glad that I am. It means my heart takes things in in a big way. It grows each time this happens. I expand to appreciate more, to love more, and to be more compassionate.

To own that with all that it is I stand in the truth of who I am. I am a mush bucket and I am proud.

Anyone else out there a mush bucket too? You are safe to say so right here on my blog. I welcome all mush buckets with open arms… and lots of Kleenex.  🙂

The Mysterious Lady in the Big, White House on the Corner.

Posted by Barbara Techel

marie and me 12Me and Marie

For years I wondered who the lady is that lives in the big, old white house downtown on the corner, one block from the post office. Now and then I’d see her walking to or from her house to get her mail.

Always dressed in an artistic way, with her funky glasses and salt and pepper hair my curiosity got the best of me whenever I’d catch a glimpse of her.

Did she live in the big house all by herself? Was she widowed? How long did she live there? Where does she work? Does she work? What’s her story?

Her yard not like all the others, neat and trim with green plush grass free of weeds. But of a unique, purposeful design of sorts with flowers growing here and there. A black arched trellis that leads to the front door that never seems to be open, while the back of her house more alive and the place to approach and knock if one wanted to know more about the mystery lady. There is also the little wooden shed off to the back that catches my eye, decorated on the north side with geraniums that hang in pots each tucked in its own circular sphere on what looks to be a wrought iron trellis of sorts.

Who lives in this house that speaks of such character? And then I met her. Two September’s ago when I signed up to take the Artist’s Way workshop in the town next to mine held at the Arts Center, where I would also come to find that she worked part-time.

I’ve always been drawn to, for the most part, well, let’s say, to more mature people of age. Maybe it’s the wisdom gained of  years they’ve lived that I wish to draw upon for my own life, but whatever the reason, I’m so glad to have finally met Marie.

Often times we’d sit next to each other in the workshop and I found myself listening intently each time she spoke. I would come to find she loves art. She is a talented artist in her own right, finally venturing out into our corner of the world with her beautiful and exquisite hand-made fabric pillows and bags. She found the courage and inspiration after our workshop ended to finally take this leap. I’m so glad she did.

After our workshop ended, and I was feeling lost wondering where I wanted to go next in my life, I felt called to reach out to Marie during my sabbatical last fall. We met for tea at a local diner. The conversation flowed and I took to heart her advice to just let happen what needs to happen, and don’t force it.

Though I’ve had ups and downs with taking her advice now and then, today when met again for tea, I find myself in a more accepting place with this. We met at my favorite cafe in town, Off the Rail, right alongside the railroad tracks. We both had earrings on with the same vintage yellow floral bead, yet each a different design.

We both realize how the Artist’s Workshop brought us together and has brought us to the place we each are in our current day to day creative spaces. She doing her fabric art and attending theology classes, and I with my writing and new volunteer mentor role, plus a few other things up my sleeve.

Marie commented to me how our conversation just flowed with ease. We weren’t straining to make conversation, but one thing moved effortlessly into the next. It was refreshing, energizing and inspiring.

What I love about Marie is that she is in a simple word, authentic. She lives within the boundaries of what is right for her and her everyday life. I’m attracted to that as I see myself more and more comfortable in doing more of the same. She lives by the beat of her own drum and I want my life to continue to unfold in that same beat of which is right for me.

Though she is no longer the mysterious lady to me who lives in the big, white house and I miss the perplexity of that, I’m finding the greatest delight in the unveiling of our friendship as we continue to get to know each other. So much so, we both wonder why it is we wait so long to see each other, because we both felt so good after being together. So we shall work on seeing each other more often.

For now, I relish in the beauty and wisdom of my friend Marie, and give a grateful thank you to have her in my life.