celebration

When a Writer Dances

Celebration! from Barbara Techel on Vimeo.

I just had to do it.

Earlier this month my manuscript came back from my editor. When I made all the changes and updated areas that needed more attention, I sent it back to her for a final proofread. In my experience from the other books I’ve written, a proofread normally meant small tweaks.

But this time there were more changes and updates to be made which meant I felt more comfortable printing the whole manuscript out yet again and going through it line by line, word by word one. more. time. After reading my manuscript over and over, this is when it starts to feel rather tedious, and sometimes like torture.  But it’s how my brain works and how I work to feel comfortable before putting a book out into the world.

This process of writing this book has been an almost three year endeavor with many labor pains along the way. But when I got to the end of the manuscript yesterday, it was a whoosh! of many emotions that ran through me.

As I laid the last sheet of paper down on the table beside me where I’d been hunkered down in my over-sized wicker chair the last few days, the song “Celebration” by Kool and the Gang popped in my head, so I played it on Youtube… and this writer danced!

A dance of joy, a dance of accomplishment, a dance of perseverance, a dance of determination, a dance of gratefulness, a dance of celebration.

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30 Years Ago I Said Two Words I’ve Never Regretted.

wedding day0002

“I do.” Two words I said 30 years ago on this my wedding anniversary with John.

A part of me is somewhat in shock that we are actually celebrating a 30th wedding anniversary. How did all that time go by so fast?  Will the next 30 fly by just as fast?

As we were driving to a restaurant last night to celebrate, John said that he’d like to try for another 30 years. That made me smile and my whole insides melted in love. While I know he loves me, when life has been hard, he has talked about not wanting to live past 65 or 70.

Not that we have any control of when our day on this earth will end, but when life feels difficult we can sometimes lose sight of what is important. Imagining John at 85 years old and me at 81 should we hit that 60 year mark is certainly something I can’t quite picture. But I’d sure love to see it happen.

I consider it a great honor and gift to have been together this many years. It’s been work. Hard work. But the rewards are truly precious.

We are so much more at ease in our lives together, worry about less stuff, love living simply with dinner out once a week, weekends playing Yahtzee or hanging out around the woodstove in winter and the chiminea in the summer.

Loving our dogs, loving each other, getting lost in conversation and laughing. There has never been a shortage of laughter in our house. We love to laugh and find it is the key to happiness.

So I say once again “I do” to the man who is my rock. My soft place to land. My sweetheart. My love. My forever. Love you, Johnnie!

I Found My Easter Egg’s and My Light Shines Brighter

IMG_1972Happy Easter to each of you. While I don’t celebrate in the traditional way of going to church, I connect in my own way with the meaning of this special day.

A day of hope and renewal. Another chance to see that beautiful light within me and to let it shine just a bit more brighter. That this day signals another gift in itself. Another opportunity to let down my guard that I sometimes build around me, and be who I was created to be.

Today is also day seven of my meditation that I have been doing called Finding the Flow. A free 21-day mediation with Oprah and Deepak Chopra. It was about exploring our true self as light. “Light is around us and within us – it is our guide on the path toward self-realization… As we open to the light within, we connect to the divine light that illuminates our soul, awakening us to our real self, and the light that connects all things.”

I am connected to God/Spirit/Universe in my own, unique way. It is my guide to shine that light within me out into the world. I am not always perfect and sometimes find myself in struggle. But this special day called Easter I give thanks for another chance at renewal. A day to accept past and present struggles, as they are a part of my journey which has helped me move closer to the true light that is me.

As I lay in bed today thinking about all the little kids that will search for their Easter eggs, I found myself wishing I could be a kid again — the anticipation of the treasures they will find on their Easter egg hunt and all the goodies within their baskets. And then I realized I can still go to that place. It is always there for me to tap into. That joy of finding surprises and feeling so alive.

I found my Easter egg’s today and all it’s treasures inside as I glanced over at John and he said, “Happy Easter.” My next treasure awaited me as I lifted Gidget out of her bed and kissed her on the side of her snout. And finally, Kylie, who came to greet me with her tail wagging good morning.

I’m grateful for all that I have and for this awakening that continues to evolve in me, even when the journey has been filled with doubt and pain. And for Easter, I am giving thanks for its gifts of renewal and hope as it washes away the past to help that light in me to shine brighter.

Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. -John O’Donohue