celebration of life

A Year Later. A Love Letter to Gidget.

Posted by Barbara Techel

There won’t be a full oracle reading today, but I did do a short message on my Instagram page if you want to check that out. Today I want to honor the one year passing of my sweet Gidget girl – she indeed was, and still is, one of the most potent oracles for me in her teaching of helping me to “know thyself.”

Dear Gidget,

A year ago – the day before Mother’s Day – I didn’t know how I was going to live my life without you. 

As I sat holding you in my arms knowing I had a very difficult decision to make, I was reminded by our dear friend, Dawn, that this wasn’t about my fear, but rather about what you wanted.

I knew in my heart it was time for you to move on, but how to let go?

While our work together was done here on the physical plane, your teaching of loving all aspects of myself remains. It always will – in honor and respect of you and in honor and respect of the love I now have for myself. Your love and devotion brought me to this new welcome space within me.

It’s been almost a full four seasons that have passed since I last hugged you. As each season has passed it has reminded me of you in some special way.

In the summertime how my heart would overflow with love as I watched you enjoy soaking up the sun lying on the deck and then in the evenings as we’d hang out by the fire in the chiminea with you snug as a bug in your bed between the Adirondack chairs.

As the leaves turned crimson shades of yellow, orange, and red, I reminisced how we’d relish in the change in the wind as I’d take you for a walk in your dog stroller. I loved watching your ears fly in the wind as you’d raise your snout to the new smells in the air.

Wintertime brought memories of the extra snuggle time on the couch or you resting in my or papa’s arms, your tiny front limbs bent in front of you in the most endearing way, snoring so very loudly for a little dog and content as could be.

As the sun moved closer to the earth this spring I was brought back to the sweet images of you and how you loved to hang out in the garden with me. As you’d close your eyes to take in the warmth of the sun I dug in the dirt planting flowers while buds were beginning to burst from the trees.

Now 365 days later I see that my life has gone on even though you are no longer here. But guess what? I still feel you with me. But you already knew that, didn’t you? It is one of my greatest comforts and treasures.

The difference is now the ache on my heart isn’t as crushing as it was – it’s a softness that has settled in – though at times a sharp ache will still shoot through my heart as a reminder that to have loved you means I must also accept the pain of loss. I do little one, I do.

But you know what my heart knows most? That to have loved you means I will never ever lose that feeling and that in essence I never had to let go. The love of you is here now and always will be.

Love you always my sweet girl…

xo,

Barbara

The Perfect Ending to a Deeply Personal Day

Posted by Barbara Techel
The Perfect Ending to a Deeply Personal Day
Visiting Frankie’s statue at Bookworm Gardens

It was the perfect ending to  such a sacred, deeply moving, magical day as I laid Frankie’s ashes to rest on the 5th anniversary of her passing yesterday morning. On Tuesday I wrote about how I came to this decision for this special day, and yesterday I shared how I followed my heart and how the timing of how this private ceremony would unfold. 

It became obvious to me as the last two days have unfolded that I have touched what my friend Diane said, as the collective heart. There was a small part of me that hesitated in sharing such a deeply personal experience because a part of me felt vulnerable. But now I have nothing but gratitude for doing so.

So many of you here, and on my Facebook page, shared so many beautiful thoughts and love that it truly only enriched this special moment in time for me. Also hearing from many of you sharing that I’ve helped you by being open with my heart about this experience, well, that means so much…and I know Frankie is so proud of that.

There are moments in life when you look back and you are able to really see the synchronicity and perfect timing of things – how life just flowed – and you were being guided by something bigger than you.

Such is the case the last two days – and really even before this. Last week I had gone to a second hand store wanting a new (or rather, I should say, pre-loved) casual dress or two. And it wouldn’t hit me as how perfect it was the one I found when my friend, Jessica sent me the pictures she took of me yesterday afternoon with Frankie’s statue at Bookworm Gardens.

I wasn’t even sure I was going to go to Bookworm Gardens on the anniversary of Frankie’s passing, but after scattering her ashes I knew I wanted to. And it just so happened I was having lunch with a lovely young lady, Jessica, who is my neighbor, and just graduated from college and will be getting married later this summer.  

The serendipity of us having lunch together near Bookworm Gardens, never really knowing each other too well all these years we’ve been neighbors… well, that is a whole other story I’ll write about some other time. But I have no doubt that God meant for her and I to be together yesterday, and for her to be the one taking pictures of me with Frankie’s statue.

While my love for Frankie and what we shared so deeply between us is something that will be with me always, being at the children’s garden yesterday, seeing her statue there, knowing her message lives on – touching new lives each and everyday – well, now I’m at a loss for words. 

The only word I can find is GRATEFUL and grateful I’ll always be.

It was the perfect ending to a day filled with such love and peace that I will carry in my heart forever. And thank you again to each of you for being a part of our journey.

When we share something from the true depth of our souls….and touch that collective heart…I truly believe we all heal.

Thank you for sharing and subscribing to my blog updates.

Celebrating this Special Guy Today. Something You May Not Know.

Posted by Barbara Techel

john eThis handsome little guy turns 55 today. The only boy out of five sisters.

I met this little guy when he was just four years old. Little did I know, or perhaps I did, but he would turn out to be the love of my life.

You see, this is my Johnnie. The man I’ve been married to for almost 30 years.

Oh how I recall seeing him for the first time in highschool. I was a freshman and he was a senior. I can still see that dark blue winter jacket he wore with the fake fur collar (yes, that was in then). His hair hung just a smidge over the back of his collar.  The jacket he loved and called it his “cop jacket” because he thought about being a policeman.

We didn’t date in highschool, but oh, how I admired him from afar. After he graduated he went off to college, which turned out to not be what he wanted in life. He returned to our small town six months later.

I was half way through my sophomore year when I was walking home one night with my friend. He pulled up in his big brown Pontiac and asked me if I wanted a ride home. I knew that first night with him that I loved him.

I don’t recall when we discovered this other piece of the story, but it still makes me smile to this day. We came to find out that when my mom was pregnant with me, she and my dad had rented a cabin. And you’ll never guess who was staying next door?

Okay, so you guessed right. It was John’s family. He was four years old. I like to say that I peeked out of my mom’s belly button, saw John, and said, “I’m going to marry that guy some day.”

So I say a very Happy Birthday to the little guy that is now all grown up. How absolutely lucky and grateful I am for him. The love of my life. The one who is always making me laugh. Who is always making me feel special. Who is the most kindest and hard working man.  Happy Birthday my dear Johnnie.