death

The Perfect Ending to a Deeply Personal Day

Posted by Barbara Techel
The Perfect Ending to a Deeply Personal Day
Visiting Frankie’s statue at Bookworm Gardens

It was the perfect ending to  such a sacred, deeply moving, magical day as I laid Frankie’s ashes to rest on the 5th anniversary of her passing yesterday morning. On Tuesday I wrote about how I came to this decision for this special day, and yesterday I shared how I followed my heart and how the timing of how this private ceremony would unfold. 

It became obvious to me as the last two days have unfolded that I have touched what my friend Diane said, as the collective heart. There was a small part of me that hesitated in sharing such a deeply personal experience because a part of me felt vulnerable. But now I have nothing but gratitude for doing so.

So many of you here, and on my Facebook page, shared so many beautiful thoughts and love that it truly only enriched this special moment in time for me. Also hearing from many of you sharing that I’ve helped you by being open with my heart about this experience, well, that means so much…and I know Frankie is so proud of that.

There are moments in life when you look back and you are able to really see the synchronicity and perfect timing of things – how life just flowed – and you were being guided by something bigger than you.

Such is the case the last two days – and really even before this. Last week I had gone to a second hand store wanting a new (or rather, I should say, pre-loved) casual dress or two. And it wouldn’t hit me as how perfect it was the one I found when my friend, Jessica sent me the pictures she took of me yesterday afternoon with Frankie’s statue at Bookworm Gardens.

I wasn’t even sure I was going to go to Bookworm Gardens on the anniversary of Frankie’s passing, but after scattering her ashes I knew I wanted to. And it just so happened I was having lunch with a lovely young lady, Jessica, who is my neighbor, and just graduated from college and will be getting married later this summer.  

The serendipity of us having lunch together near Bookworm Gardens, never really knowing each other too well all these years we’ve been neighbors… well, that is a whole other story I’ll write about some other time. But I have no doubt that God meant for her and I to be together yesterday, and for her to be the one taking pictures of me with Frankie’s statue.

While my love for Frankie and what we shared so deeply between us is something that will be with me always, being at the children’s garden yesterday, seeing her statue there, knowing her message lives on – touching new lives each and everyday – well, now I’m at a loss for words. 

The only word I can find is GRATEFUL and grateful I’ll always be.

It was the perfect ending to a day filled with such love and peace that I will carry in my heart forever. And thank you again to each of you for being a part of our journey.

When we share something from the true depth of our souls….and touch that collective heart…I truly believe we all heal.

Thank you for sharing and subscribing to my blog updates.

The Truth is, I Didn’t Remember…But then a Pause Reminded Me.

Posted by Barbara Techel

The Truth is, I Didn't Remember...But then a Pause Reminded Me.

Perhaps it was because I woke with a sinus headache, fed the dogs and went back to bed this morning, which isn’t like me to do. But I honored what I felt I needed.

An hour later I was feeling much better and knew today was the day I would stop procrastinating and get the back cover text written for my book coming out this fall, Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift. 

I planted my butt firmly in my writing chair and vowed to not leave it until I’d gotten a draft written. After three hours and may re-writes I was happy with what I’d written so off to my editor it went. Will see what she has to say.

One thing I have to remind myself to do is to take breaks and give myself small rewards for tasks accomplished. So being a beautiful day – suspended between summer and a hint of fall, I set out with Gidget in her stroller, for a walk around town.

As I walked through the senior assisted community complex, I noticed the sweetest, small leaf on the ground. When I looked up, I noted the tree is beginning to change.

red leaf

I enjoy savoring every bit of fall and decided to be on the lookout to create an altar from things found on my walk to place in my writing cottage when I got home.

tree

Small pine cones, two goose feathers, a stone, snippets of wheat grass, a yellow coneflower and two maple leaves were the items I collected as I walked.  Along with my collecting bits of nature on my path I paused to also take photos of things that made me smile. Little did I know it was going to lead me to remembering…

door

apple

bench

…and then I remembered…when I saw this wooden sign in a downtown retail shop…

bike

Today is three years since Joie passed away…and with it she left me the gift of what I would learn over the last three years…that pausing often in ones life is essential to well being…that the journey and purpose of life is to be happy.

I couldn’t help but feel a sweet joy well up inside me for the spiritual signposts I was rewarded with today. When I got home, I created the altar with a photo of Joie beside it, and have a battery operated candle lit in her memory.

And I’m reminded once again of the divine timing of her life with me…the gifts of transition…and the timing of the book I’ve written about her due out this fall…and trusting in what one can’t always see until it is time.

Thank you for sharing and subscribing to my blog updates.

Gidget’s Winter Perch and The Blessing of Acceptance

Posted by Barbara Techel

gidget's winter viewDuring much of the winter months, Gidget (as all other wiener dogs before her) get the luxury of a new perch to sit upon and enjoy a new view.

It is bitterly cold today, windchills of -20 and expected to be this way all week, getting even colder on Wednesday.

Even though my writing cottage is quite cozy and kept warm with my petite Heat ‘N Glow fireplace, there can still be a chill that comes through with the winds, especially felt on the floor.

“The Queen,” also known as Miss Gidget, can not be subjected to that chill that runs across the floor, so her bed is moved to higher headquarters upon my large wicker chair in the corner (Hail the Queen!). Here she is able to bask in the sun streaming through the windows. I love being able to glance over at her as I sit at my writing desk working, knowing she is happy and warm.

It feels incredibly good to have the holidays a memory as I move into the New Year and a new view of acceptance that has finally graced my heart. A fresh new start this week and I’m enjoying the solitude and stillness of this quiet season of winter.

I feel like I am finally on my way to feeling more like myself again. I’m welcoming it with open and grateful arms.

It was a tough fall. One in which I moved through the grief of a friendship lost. While this friend didn’t pass away, it has felt like  a death to me, because of what sadly transpired between us, with both of us going our separate ways.

While I don’t know if we will ever come back together again, I am finally able to take what it was, and find many blessings from it.

I’ve not written about this before in my journal, but hinted at a challenge I’d been working through in my newsletter a few times. I also won’t go into the details, because as always, there are two sides to a story (and as most likely always occurs, a misunderstanding that went astray).

But the point of me sharing this today is that with any struggle or heartache, there are lessons to be learned and blessings to be found in the challenge.

For awhile, I had a hard time finding the blessings, and when I did, I was struggling with the why of it – wondering why it had to be so painful in order for new blessings to reveal themselves.

I questioned, if I had to do it over again, would I have done so because of the positive that did come from it, knowing I’d have to endure the pain? The answer to that is that I can’t answer that. What happened, happened for a reason – time for me to accept and move on.

And this morning as I briskly ran out to my writing cottage, Gidg snuggled in my arms in a blanket, and as I sat down at my desk, I felt a shift inside.

We’ve only got one shot at this thing called life. I want mine to be the best it can be. I understand more clearly now that difficult and sad things happen to open us even more to appreciating our time on this earth. Without those hard times, we wouldn’t really know joy – true, pure joy.

We also wouldn’t know what we truly want for our life if we weren’t challenged by it at times.

I love my simple life. I love much of my time that is spent in my writing cottage pecking away at my keyboard, sharing my thoughts via my journal and newsletter. Time spent on dreams of new projects. Time spent in contemplation and reflection. Time spent on snuggling with my dogs. Time spent with my Johnnie talking about our tiny house someday we want to build in a warmer climate.

Time– that’s the thing, I don’t want to waste it worrying about something that was and may never be again. I give thanks right here and now in this moment for times that were hard to bear, but I made it through. I stand stronger today. I stand in this moment glad to be alive and have the life I love.

As always, feel free to leave a comment…I welcome them!