growing older

On Birthdays. A Privilege.

Posted by Barbara Techel

On Birthdays. A Privilege.

Never regret growing older. It’s a privilege denied to many. ~author unknown

This is one of my favorite quotes and one I try to keep at the forefront of my mind, especially when birthdays roll around.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy my birthday, because I do – very much so! But I hear many regrets of getting older from others. I don’t want to ever take it for granted.

When John and I went out for my birthday dinner on Saturday to a place we’d not been before called, Capone’s, I saw t-shirts hanging behind the bar with the quote above, which is one of my favorites –  and well, I just had to have it and John bought one for me (thanks, honey!).

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When I woke at 4am today – my 53rd birthday (well, almost. I don’t “officially” turn 53 until five minutes to midnight, as that is when I burst into the world five decades and three years ago), the first thought I had was of my mom.

I recall her telling me at one time or another how it was a sweltering heat wave the week I was born. And then I thought, hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of my mom pregnant with me. It made me think about how that is so common these days – women posting pictures of their bare, round bellies. It would have seemed odd for my mom to do that though.

But each birthday I celebrate, especially the older I get, and even more so since my dear friend lost her mom almost three years ago, I have moments of thinking of that inevitable “someday” I will have to go through – the day, my dear, sweet, mama will no longer be here with me.

It’s hard to think about the rest of my birthdays without her – the one who brought me into this world – the one who has my back – the one who loves me unconditionally – the one who is my biggest cheerleader – the one who has laughed and cried with me – the one who drinks wine with me – the one who when I look into her eyes, I see myself.

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Each celebration of another year on this earth, I try with all my might to take in every. single. moment with my dear mama deep into my soul. I guard it with the utmost care and treasure it more than I can find words to even express.

And I remind myself of what a privilege it is to have had all the years I’ve had so far to celebrate with my mom. That this too, is one that has been denied many. I’m truly blessed.

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And so today I celebrate my life and give thanks for all that it is and what it is yet to be.

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The Beautiful Death of a Peony

Posted by Barbara Techel

The Beautiful Death of a Peony

I almost threw them away.

But then I stopped dead in my tracks as I suddenly realized how beautiful this silky, soft, pink peony was even though it has lived its cycle.

Now, a new way in which it is full of beauty. As if a delicate, vintage doily.

And the two buds on either side which never made it to full bloom. But caught in-between worlds, as if in a cocoon and trying and be forever young.

I now don’t have the heart to dispose of the them–it’s as if they are standing still in time. I want to let them linger just a bit longer and take in their exquisite wisdom of seeing grace where we can so automatically dismiss it.

Just like growing older – there can be elegance and dignity in that too. We just have to look for it and appreciate it.

 

A few things about life. Expect the best and you will receive it.

Posted by Barbara Techel

I have seen this piece (below) before, but thought worth sharing.

One of the things I’m excited about for 2013 is that I will be turning fifty. I can hardly wait!  While so many women dread this age (and older), I plan to fully embrace it. I already am and it is not even here yet!  But all I know is I wasted an awful lot of time when I was in my 20’s and 30’s worrying about the silliest things. I don’t want to live that way any longer– well, really I learned that when I was forty, so I say bring fifty on!.  Age is just a number.  Nothing else.

It also makes me think of Libby, my dear 106- year old friend. I met her through my therapy work with Frankie. She was so beautiful. It was her spirit and zest for life that made you want to hang onto every word she said.. and let it sink deep into your consciousness so that you never wasted another precious moment on this earth worrying about things that really do not matter in the end.

And you know what else?  Dogs don’t worry about age, now do they?  So another reason to pay attention to their powerful lessons.

So with that all in mind, I share this wonderful article…

A few things about life. Expect the best and you will receive it.

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland,Ohio.

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.  It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others.  You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don’t worry; God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy but it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don’t save it for a special occasion.  Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words – ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time.  Accept what you already have, not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

I loved many of these, but #23 was my favorite.  What is your favorite?