hummingbirds

I AM a Hummingbird. Thank you Elizabeth Gilbert.

I AM a Hummingbird. Thank You Elizabeth Gilbert.
Image credit: Alexis Coram

Time stood still this morning when I listened to Robin Roberts interview author Elizabeth Gilbert who is celebrating 10 years of her book Eat, Pray, Love.

It was the moment a young woman stood up and asked Elizabeth how to follow her heart when her dreams felt scattered. She said that she came to New York wanting to pursue a media career. But now she realizes she wants to travel the country and teach Yoga, which feels off the beaten path.

Liz told her that there are people who are like jackhammers. They come here knowing what they want and they go after it and nothing gets in their way. Then there are the hummingbirds of the world who try this and try that, always searching.

She went on to say that our world rewards jackhammers. But the truth is, those of us who are hummingbirds are on a scavenger hunt. We are allowed to follow our curiosity. Her advice that just because this is who you were last year does not mean that you can’t be something different now. She said to the young gal, “just keep going. Just keep looking.”

This hit a very deep place inside me. It was exactly why I was in transition for three years which I will be sharing in my new book Wisdom Found in the Pause later this year.

I struggled with letting go of the chapter in my life I call my “Frankie Chapter,” (and I wrote about that time of my life in my memoir Through Frankie’s Eyes),wanting to move on after she passed. But not sure where I was headed, though something niggled at my heart that I wanted to explore.

Tears sprang to my eyes as Liz’s words rang through my mind and vibrated in my heart. I AM a hummingbird. I was so overcome with emotion.

And then it hit even deeper. As I wrote about in my memoir, Through Frankie’s Eyes I believe with all my heart that Frankie came to me two weeks after her death as a hummingbird.

It was late one afternoon almost four years ago when I was sitting on the deck, lost in thought about Frankie, that a hummingbird fluttered about a foot in front of my face. She flitted back and forth – back and forth. This had never happened before. I don’t know really how long this lasted, but the feelings that ran through me in those moments were hard to deny that it was her.

In my heart I believe it was Frankie sending me a message that she was okay – she was still with me – and that I would be okay. Because as I wrote about in my memoir I had tied my identity so close to Frankie and my work with her that I didn’t know how to move on without her.

As these thoughts swirled through my mind this morning I had another aha! that perhaps Frankie was letting me know that it was okay for me to be a hummingbird. She was showing me that I could go on to follow other dreams in my heart.

My heart smiles as it feels like another full circle moment. But mostly a confirmation that everything I felt those three years of transition was okay. We are allowed to pursue what we want and to take the time to figure things out.

I don’t know how Elizabeth Gilbert does it with her thoughts that resonate deeply with so many women. But I, for one, am so grateful for her. And I’m grateful for the little dachshund on wheels, Frankie, who I also believe just sent me another message to keep following my heart.

Here is the interview with Liz if you’d like to watch it yourself.

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Outside My Writing Cottage Window- Life is in Full Swing.

Right Outside My Writing Cottage Window- Life is in Full Swing.

Just like that. My whole yard is alive.

Yellow finches at my feeder. Robins splashing in the bird bath right outside my writing cottage door. Hummingbirds dashing back and forth to the sweet nectar hanging within site of my writing desk.

The first hummingbird I saw just a few days ago, well, I just had to sit for a moment in the grace of its tiny, exquisite beauty. I think my eyes were wide as saucers, afraid to blink that I might miss his sweetness perched upon the feeder drinking to his hearts content.

Each season with the arrival of the first hummingbird, I pause, like I did this time too–my hands in prayer over my heart. A sweet reminder of when I’m sure Frankie, my dachshund, visited me as a hummingbird a few weeks after she died.

I loved to call her my little hummingbird, so it’s not surprising I felt her spirit hovering a few inches in front of my face as a hummingbird whose wings were fluttering so fast as if to say, “I made it, Mom!  I’m free! I’m free! And I’m happy!”

There is life all around me with the all the busy wings a flappin’ here, there and everywhere…and it is contagious as I feel a new aliveness within me, too.

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George and Jane Jetson Have Landed in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin

With the weather warming up nicely we are preparing for more guests during the spring and summer months. Winter can be a lonely time with very few visitors.

Saturday I spent the day preparing to welcome our guests. I brewed up a lovely, tasty concoction. I also purchased a pretty potted bright pink geranium for them to feast their eyes on when they arrived at our front door.

They were coming back to the Midwest from the South and if the weather cooperated it wouldn’t be too long before they arrived.  Since they don’t carry cellphones with them they were unable to let me know there estimated arrival time.

So I waited… and waited… and waited.  I sat with Frankie looking out the front door early Sunday morning, gazing out into the yard hoping to see or hear some sign that they had finally made it.

I grew impatient so called my Mom to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. As I was expressing my concern to her (still looking out the front door) that my special little visitors had not yet arrived, it was as if by magic, Jane zoomed right up and made herself right at home…. she perched her delicate  little self atop the red metal flower holding the special nectar I had made just for her and George.  Later that day George finally arrived. He wouldn’t ask for directions so had gotten lost along the way. Jane just shook her head.

Yup, George and Jane Jetson are the yearly hummingbirds who flit in and out all summer long, drinking to their hearts content (sometimes we even join them) ha!  The Jetson’s was one of my and John’s favorite cartoons when we were young so it seemed fitting to call our little feathered friends George and Jane. We love to sit in awe of them as they zoom in and out and all about. This is one of my many moments I call Joyful Paws.