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Embracing this In-Between Stage of a Woman’s Life

Posted by Barbara Techel

Embracing this In-Between Stage of a Woman's Life

First, I have to say that I’m grateful to be as far in life as I am. In eighteen days I’ll be fifty-four years old and I’m not afraid to say my age. 

While I love being in my fifties, there have been challenges in accepting that my mind has tons of ideas and things I wish to accomplish, but my energy level is not what it used to be. It’s funny because just yesterday I said to someone that next year I’ll be fifty-five. I equated it to being able to go the “speed limit” but how interesting it is that I no longer want that faster pace of life.

I don’t like to buy into what we’ve been conditioned to believe, while at the same time trying to honor what is truly happening with my hormones as I’m three years post menopause.

So much of life, I believe, is about acceptance and letting go…and finding a soft place to land for any given period in ones life.

And so I welcome the challenge of understanding it all. Though it does exhaust me at times, too!  😉  And I know not everything I’ll understand and must be open to the mystery of life, too.

I’ve read and heard so much about how when one reaches the age of sixty a new energy emerges. A part of me really yearns for that and this is when I struggle with what is right now. So often I find I’m always wishing I had more energy to do all the things I yet want to do before my time ends here on this beautiful planet.

Just yesterday I came across a website called Moonsong and a description of this time in life that many women are in and it made so much more sense to me. And I actually found much of it quite comforting. You may have heard of Maiden, Mother and Crone which are different stages of a woman’s life. But what about those “in-between” times?

And there it was on this website, defined as Maga or also called the autumn season of a woman’s life. I’ve always loved autumn – it’s my favorite season. Now this, this I could wrap myself up in and feel comforted by.

Here are some points from Moonsong blog post that resonated for me:

  • For those of us in our late 40’s and 50’s who’s mothers are alive, the difference between the autumn and winter life season is obvious. At 52, I know I am not yet a crone, my mother is.
  • As she moves through autumn, a woman feels a passionate connection with all life. Yet, wise in the seasons of living, she can be unsentimental, even pitiless. She does not try to nurture everything and everyone, for she knows not all can – should – survive. She becomes selective. There is enough of everything – strength, love, passion, lust – everything but time.
  • Time she knows grows short. Nothing seems endless anymore. 
  • She finds she has limits. Her energy falters, her mind drifts, her patience snaps. She begins to husband herself, to save herself for what really matters. 
  • The autumn woman moves towards dreamtime. Though she knows her limits,
    She has also felt limitless. She has known the ineffable. She wakes at night from dreams of high windy places where small blue flowers bloom, and she knows in her bones that such places exist.  Luminous beings appear in her dreams and pull her towards them. She recognises the dust of infinity in a windstorm, the fragrance of timelessness in a fire.There is a transcendent energy about her, but she remains rooted in life’s imminent realities. In her eyes you see the fire of primal knowledge: the knowledge of life and death. She knows that she will not escape this life alive. And so she embraces it, moment by moment.

And so I share my thoughts and those I found on Moonsong website about this in-between stage many of my friends find themselves in as so many others do too in hopes that it will bring you some comfort. To know this mix of emotions and challenges we can feel are “normal” have helped me to open more to the acceptance of it all, while knowing, as my mom often says, “this too shall pass.” 

Because accepting what is and learning to navigate within it is what living fully is all about. We don’t always know what is ahead, and so many dreams lie within yet, and we must trust that following the seasons of our lives will continue to strengthen us and provide just what we need.

Thank you for sharing and subscribing to my blog updates.

What Does it Mean to Be Wiser & Wilder?

Posted by Barbara Techel

What Does it Mean to Be Wiser and Wilder?

What wilder meant to me when I was younger, means something entirely different these days. Wilder when I was in my 20s and 30s, when I look back, often felt disjointed. I was trying to find my way of what it was that mattered, but often found myself getting caught up in how I was supposed to be according to society’s beliefs.

Ack! I’m so glad I know better these days. Though, this being human still can have its moments of forgetting and falling back into old patterns. But here’s where the wiser part kicks in and the work I’ve done to date, and continue to do on my inner world, is what supports me in knowing that the only way to be in this crazy, oftentimes complex world, is to be who I am.

During the month of May I’m honored to be one of five women interviewed for the one year book celebration written by Kaya Singer, “Wiser and Wilder, A Soulful Path for Visionary Women Entrepreneurs”. When I read Kaya’s book a few months ago I felt like someone finally understood me. Her wise words had, and continue to, have a positive impact on me – guiding me to continue to be who I am in the world – one small or large step at a time.

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Just looking at the cover of Kaya’s book, which is a painting she did, I LOVE what it conveys to me – that growing older does not have to be negative or that you no longer have value – but that it can be glorious in so many ways! It also makes me think about indigenous cultures and how they have always valued the elderly and their wisdom.

And something I’d wished I’d understood when younger, and Kaya writes about beautifully in her book, is weaving into our life and work all the aspects that make us women – whether we are in the maiden, mother or crone stage of our lives. But that tapping into each of these energies can serve us in living our best lives.

So how am I wilder these days? I don’t worry so much what others think of me and my choices – I lean more and more into living by the beat of my own drum…and it’s what I believe wilder is all about.

To join in with all the wiser and wilder women during the one year birthday celebration, come visit Kaya’s special celebration page here.  My interview will be on Monday, May 8th and where you can catch all the interviews. Also, on May 31st there will be a Fire Circle Call where we will all be gathered and you are invited to come share your story!

Thank you for sharing and subscribing to my blog updates.

My Perfectionist Kept Me Awake Last Night

Posted by Barbara Techel
My Perfectionist Kept Me Awake Last Night
My Inner Critic SoulCollage® Card

It was midnight when I found myself wide awake. Around and around and around in my mind went thoughts and worries about the workshop I’ll be facilitating tonight. Third in a series of five and tonight we will explore and create SoulCollage® cards for one or all of the following — Maiden, Mother and Crone.

I tossed and turned trying everything to talk myself out of my concerns.

As 2016 came to an end I knew in my heart I was being strongly called to facilitate many more workshops in 2017 and bring women together in circle to gently guide them to creatively tap into their intuition to connect with their True Self and live a more meaningful life.

In many ways this is new territory for me. Along with lots of researching and learning as I go it’s a new energy I’m working with that I’ve not before.

Most recently I was introduced to The Circle Way as a structure to help create a safe container for women to tune into their intuition, create and share their stories.

While I’m grateful to now know about The Circle Way and which I’m integrating in my workshops, it’s still new to me. I worry that I won’t do it “right.” And I’m realizing this is my Inner Critic, which is also disguised as my perfectionist, who is showing herself more often.

Even though I’ve done much inner work on myself, the thing is it is never “one and we are done” but that we will now and then be challenged. This is what comes with growing and evolving.

The good news is that I can now more easily recognize what is going on. So this morning I pulled the card I made to represent my Inner Critic.  Here she is in purple worried that others will talk behind her back saying she isn’t any good at this facilitating role.

And seeing in the background the Egyptian woman with her hands raised I heard her say, “Stop all the madness!”

It brought me back to my senses and understanding that my Inner Critic has my best interest in mind. My Inner Critic wants to keep me safe and protect me. She really means no harm. She just needed to be acknowledged for her important role in my life.

So I silently talked to her and said, “Thank you for your concern. I got this. You can now rest for awhile.”

It’s going to be a great night with my Women’s Circle!

Thank you for sharing and subscribing to my blog updates.

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SoulCollage® cards are not sold, traded, or bartered to respect the artists whose images are collaged in the cards.