pet loss

A Year Later. A Love Letter to Gidget.

Posted by Barbara Techel

There won’t be a full oracle reading today, but I did do a short message on my Instagram page if you want to check that out. Today I want to honor the one year passing of my sweet Gidget girl – she indeed was, and still is, one of the most potent oracles for me in her teaching of helping me to “know thyself.”

Dear Gidget,

A year ago – the day before Mother’s Day – I didn’t know how I was going to live my life without you. 

As I sat holding you in my arms knowing I had a very difficult decision to make, I was reminded by our dear friend, Dawn, that this wasn’t about my fear, but rather about what you wanted.

I knew in my heart it was time for you to move on, but how to let go?

While our work together was done here on the physical plane, your teaching of loving all aspects of myself remains. It always will – in honor and respect of you and in honor and respect of the love I now have for myself. Your love and devotion brought me to this new welcome space within me.

It’s been almost a full four seasons that have passed since I last hugged you. As each season has passed it has reminded me of you in some special way.

In the summertime how my heart would overflow with love as I watched you enjoy soaking up the sun lying on the deck and then in the evenings as we’d hang out by the fire in the chiminea with you snug as a bug in your bed between the Adirondack chairs.

As the leaves turned crimson shades of yellow, orange, and red, I reminisced how we’d relish in the change in the wind as I’d take you for a walk in your dog stroller. I loved watching your ears fly in the wind as you’d raise your snout to the new smells in the air.

Wintertime brought memories of the extra snuggle time on the couch or you resting in my or papa’s arms, your tiny front limbs bent in front of you in the most endearing way, snoring so very loudly for a little dog and content as could be.

As the sun moved closer to the earth this spring I was brought back to the sweet images of you and how you loved to hang out in the garden with me. As you’d close your eyes to take in the warmth of the sun I dug in the dirt planting flowers while buds were beginning to burst from the trees.

Now 365 days later I see that my life has gone on even though you are no longer here. But guess what? I still feel you with me. But you already knew that, didn’t you? It is one of my greatest comforts and treasures.

The difference is now the ache on my heart isn’t as crushing as it was – it’s a softness that has settled in – though at times a sharp ache will still shoot through my heart as a reminder that to have loved you means I must also accept the pain of loss. I do little one, I do.

But you know what my heart knows most? That to have loved you means I will never ever lose that feeling and that in essence I never had to let go. The love of you is here now and always will be.

Love you always my sweet girl…

xo,

Barbara

We Had Joy, We Had Fun. Thinking of Gidget and the Joy of Squirrels.

Posted by Barbara Techel

Right after I had to make the heart-wrenching decision last month to let Gidget go due to congestive heart failure I heard these words from the song, Seasons in the Sun, pop into my head: We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. I know it was Gidget letting me know it was time and it was okay.

Other lyrics to that song from Terry Jacks are:

Goodbye my friend it’s hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I’ll be there

In the weeks since Gidget has been gone the lines, now that spring is in the air and think of me and I’ll be there often run through my mind.

The truth is I wanted one more summer with her. But I know if I’d had one more, I’d want another and another. 

I’ve found such comfort in this song as the earth is so alive right now with birds, squirrels, chipmunks, fawns, and deer that I often see in our yard. Seeing and observing wildlife has me often thinking of Gidget. I feel grateful to have this connection with animals during a time I’m missing my sweet girl.

I had to chuckle seeing Squirrel dining yesterday late afternoon with his pretend friend—a rustic squirrel I bought at an art gallery last summer. I called Gidget a little squirrel at times when she was, well, you know, acting squirrely!

And again, while I’d have loved one more summer with her, I’m feeling grateful for the companionship of all the animals in the wild. I feel like Gidget wanted it this way and that she knew this is what my heart would need. It would be so like her to think of my best interest.

So while Squirrel snacked on peanuts I sat quietly and watched feeling grateful for the joy they bring and the sweet memories of Gidget that saunter through my mind.

XO,

Barbara

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Rent a Weenster

Posted by Barbara Techel

I’ve met some of the nicest people over the years because of my three disabled dachshunds. Among them are Lynn and Perry Phillips. They belong to these two adorable wiener dogs— Winnie, the English cream and Greta, the black and tan. Greta is a therapy dog and goes to work with Perry. I was so happy to run into them at the Farmer’s Market today!

It was a year ago that Winnie went down in her backend. I remember talking with Lynn trying to guide her at the beginning. After surgery and a bit of a rough road, Winnie is walking again. Yay! Lynn said she walks kind of like a drunken sailor, but she’s walking! Having loved and cared for three drunken sailors myself over the years, I completely understand.

Perry was holding Winnie in a dog carrier that hung around his shoulder. As we got to talking and Lynn and Perry expressed their sympathy for the loss of my Gidget, Perry slipped Winnie out of her carrier and handed her to me. I’d not held a weenster since Gidget passed the day before Mother’s Day.

Whoosh…the tears came and a flood of emotions. It felt good to hold sweet Winnie in my arms for a few moments.

Lynn and Perry both said I could rent one or both of them for a day when I feel the need to get a weenie dog fix. Rent for free Lynn said, though Perry kiddingly said it would be a quarter.  😉

It was enough for me today to pet both Winnie and Greta. I know someday I will want another dog. But for now, I’m feeling content with where I’m at. Though I still have my moments of wanting to hug my little Gidget just one more time. 

But that is what it’s all about. I’d still not trade the depth of love I experienced with all my dogs to avoid the time of grief.

And I’m grateful for the Farmer’s Market and being able to spend some time with the Phillips – two and four-legged!

P.S. Later on I ran into a friend who is a vendor at the market. She asked if I saw Winnie and Greta and commented about Perry who carried Winnie in a dog carrier around his shoulder, “That to me is a real man who will carry a dog around like that.” I could agree more. The Phillips truly love their dogs!

XO,

Barbara

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