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Tour of my Gardens and Writing Cottage Thanks to My “Pool” Boy

Tour of my Gardens and Writing Cottage Thanks to My "Pool" Boy
berm off deck

I teased John last night asking him what he did with my husband. In case you are new to my blog, John is my husband. For those of you who have been here for awhile, I think you know by now how blessed I consider myself to be with the love of my life almost 40 years now, 34 of which we’ve been married.

We’ve certainly had our ups and downs, but that is bound to happen when you are together this long. Or as we sometimes say as they do in the movie, Christmas Vacation, when things feel challenging or don’t go as planned, “It’s all part of the experience.” 

It was in the mid 90s all weekend. Not exactly the kind of weather you want to dig out new edging for the gardens or spread 10 yards of fresh chocolate mulch. On top of the fact I continue to heal from my sprained back, which meant no helping from me. Though truth be told, I learned that the hard way after doing a small section Saturday (don’t tell my chiropractor! 🙂  ) thinking I was “fine.” The result of my foolishness? Hardly sleeping at all that night! Lesson learned!

I had to accept the fact I couldn’t help, let go of the guilt, and allow my husband John, to do the yard work. I soon discovered that you don’t need a pool to have a pool boy!

east side of writing cottage

It’s funny when one starts out in a relationship, it’s often a physical attraction. But then as the years go by, love shape-shifts into something deeper if you are fortunate enough and stick it out.

John and I live a pretty simple life. That’s the way we like it. He loves his work and I love mine. Coming together at the end of the day to share is most often a highlight of our days. These days, even when times are difficult, we seem to listen more easily and just hold space when one of us is in need instead of rushing in to try and “fix” it.

Growing closer each year we now say that when the time comes our wish is to die together. Though of course that isn’t up to us. But Friday night John surprised me and said that he decided he has to die first. I asked him why, and he said he just couldn’t imagine my going first. It would be too painful and he couldn’t imagine life without me.

It’s interesting that in the beginning of our relationship, I was quite insecure and relied on him in many ways. While he continues to be the bread winner and that would certainly change if something happened to him and I’d likely have to find a part time job, I’ve grown so much stronger in who I am. 

It may sound silly, but there was a day I wouldn’t put gas in my car or have my oil changed or anything considered what the “man of the house” does. Last August I actually did all the wheeling and dealing when we decided to lease a new car. At the beginning of John encouraging me to take on these tasks I’d often resist and complain. But now I’m glad as I do take pride in taking ownership in these things. Should it be he does leave this earth before me, at least I feel a bit more prepared – though I know one is never fully prepared for that day that changes everything.

west side of writing cottage

The landscaping, which we had done three years ago, has pretty much been up to me to maintain. While I know it adds value to our home, I didn’t know if I’d want the upkeep. Though I’m happy to say it now brings me joy and I find it’s nice break from my writing or my day, to stop and walk around them.

John being the owner of his own business, which at times has been stressful, hasn’t always had the energy to help with the yard work. While it’s not as stressful anymore for him since he is on his own without employees now for the past three years, something else has shifted in him this year.

This weekend I sensed a new energy and pride as he worked in the heat making our humble little home and landscape come to life in a new way with it’s fresh coat of mulch. Just as he’d done almost ten years ago when he built me my sweet little writing cottage.

While we continue to also shape-shift in the changing of our bodies and our features with more wrinkles and gray hair, this new shift of depth in our relationship is what makes me fall in love with him over and over again, but in a different way. He may not perhaps be someone’s idea of a pool boy, but to me, he still makes my heart go pidder, padder.

back of writing cottage

As I sat on the deck yesterday watching him finish up the last of the mulch, the cement lion statue caught my eye through the cut out heart on our deck. A design John saw over 25 years ago and brought the idea home to me because he knew I’d love it. He then set out to lovingly build our deck, carefully cutting in each heart at different locations. They still make me smile to this day.

A gentle love certainly does abound here between this contractor and creative writer at our small plot of land here in historic Elkhart Lake. While we never know what the future holds, and I try not to dwell there for too long, it’s sweet times like these that fill my heart with joy and I safely tuck them away for that “someday” should I be the one left.

Signing off now from the smitten all over again, Mrs. Techel!

XO,

Barbara

Spring at My Writing Cottage

Spring at My Writing Cottage

Spring has arrived at my little sanctuary in the backyard that I call my writing cottage. Though I’m seriously giving thought to renaming it my writing and creativity cottage as I do so much more these days than just do my writing here.

Soon I’ll be playing in, and exploring the world of, art journaling. I’ve gotten most of the supplies, but have yet been able to experiment with this due to my sprained back and only being able to sit for short periods of time. But I’m looking forward to my first dive into this creative process soon!

At any rate, this is my little hub of a haven. It may sound odd, but this space of my own has been instrumental in developing a space of my own within my heart that I grow more proud of everyday. This being “middle-aged” has its perks that I’m definitely enjoying.

New this year to my landscaping along the side of my cottage in this photo, I’m going to try and grow ranunculous. It is my all time favorite, favorite, favorite (did I mention it’s my favorite?) flower! I prepped the area early this morning as it is expected to be in the upper 80s today (where did spring go?). After the bulbs soak for the day, I’ll pop them in place early evening or early tomorrow morning. I can hardly stand the anticipation to see them grow!

But this flower I think such a favorite of mine because it reminds me of the beauty of being a woman and the many layers we have. Opening layer by layer of who we are in our own due time, appreciating each layer for all it’s gifts, even when it may feel challenging, reveals the intricate and uniqueness of each of us. I also love how it appears like a spiral in ways and how important it is to continue to move inward when need be, and then back out again.

Thanks for stopping by!

XO,

Barbara

On the Importance of A Sense of Place

While I’ve put my book writing on hold as I’ve been exploring and facilitating workshops, I do believe there is at least one more book in me. Though I’m not sure when I will write another one, but trust that when the time is right it will happen.

It doesn’t mean that thoughts aren’t tickling my brain about it. A title I had in mind is ‘A Sense of Place.’ In doing a search on Amazon recently, I see that title is taken. But perhaps I can have a different sub-title. See? Told you I’ve been having thoughts tickling my brain!

This morning I was up early to beat the heat of the day and get sections of our landscape watered, as well as get in my Yoga practice and meditation in inside my writing cottage. While I have air conditioning in my cottage, it’s noisy so I try to hold off as long as I can before firing it up.

Early morning is probably my most favorite time out here in my special space. And it was really singing to my heart his morning as the sprinkler sent cascades of water down the west windows, the birds were chirping, and a little breeze blew through the east windows.

The shades drawn on the east side to keep the sun out and help keep it cool always makes me feel as if I’m nesting. I love the sounds of summer as I’m tucked quietly within. As I sat in meditation I couldn’t help but be so grateful for this sense of place that grounds me and makes my heart feel home.

This sense of place that has allowed my dreams to expand because coming to this space each day I feel safe to explore my hopes and dreams.

While I know not everyone may be able to have a ten by twelve space such as mine that resides quaintly off the end of my deck, I believe with every fiber of my being that it is vital to find a sense of place to call your very own – a place where you can go to just be, dream, hope, connect, nest, renew and reflect.

Some have done this through pilgrimages or sitting by the sea, or walks in nature. There is no right or wrong way. It’s just finding what feels right to your soul and then finding time to just be within this space as often as possible.

It’s in this sense of place within my writing cottage that I’ve come to appreciate and value myself for who I am. 

And so again, this is the tickling of thoughts going through my mind of late, and wondering how this can turn into a book someday. So I’ll continue to dream about it and see where it may lead.

On Tuesday, June 13th I’ll be taking part in a Fire Circle Call and you are invited! Join me, author Kaya Singer, and other inspiring women who live from their own sense of place within and use those gifts in their work to help others. It’s a free call and we’d love you to join us via Zoom video at noon cst.  Click here to sign up and learn more. 

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