There is much that brings me joy, but in this very moment, I am inhaling a breath of gratitude and giving thanks once again for this quiet spot of my own…my dear, lovely writing cottage, and I say…
On this spring morning, the sun is shining, the birds are sipping from the bird bath and feasting at the feeders as a light wind kisses the perennials reaching toward the sun, and my little dog, Gidget is curled up on the wicker chair softly snoring — indeed, it is the simple pleasures that make my heart swell with joy.
I was thinking about the cycle of life today. How things come and go. Another Mother’s Day has come and gone. Spring, for the most part, has sprung, and before we know it, we will be in the heat and humidity of summer.
The cycle of life, how at times speeds by, but then other times feels like it is crawling slowly along like a snail.
My manuscript for Wisdom Found in the Pause, my second memoir, has been with my editor almost three months now.
A book that took me over three years to get to the point of feeling comfortable and handing it over to my editor. A hurdle I wasn’t sure I’d be able to jump. But yet, I did.
Just like many things in life, there are always hoops to jump through. Some we can do without a thought, some we ponder for what seems eternity.
It felt that way, writing my second memoir, like trudging through very thick muck at times. My own fear and questioning if it was “good enough” was the mud I was trying to see through.
My vision for it not quite clear yet, as I still have some doubts. But I’m hopeful with my editor’s feedback I will find that opening of freedom all writers strive for- that moment they know without a shadow of doubt the book that won’t not let them rest, will make its way out into the world.
Writing has so many cycles like life – the idea for a book – the endless hours of writing – the courage summoned to release it to an editor – the thoughts that invade at the oddest times- the wrestling of doubt, fear, and questioning during the waiting game.
I’m in the waiting game right now, which for awhile was a comfortable place to be. I was relieved to let my manuscript go to my editor when I did in February, and take a break from it. There comes a point when you just have to do this in order to make it better.
But now, I find myself in the not-being-so-patient process of wanting to know that all my devotion and hard work can actually be a book I release to my audience.
Waiting for confirmation from my editor that the manuscript, which will no doubt need lots more work, but hope I rest in the arms of that it is doable.
And the place in the cycle I am now is that I am eager to get back to work on whipping it into the shape. But I must wait.
And I envision when I can say it is complete…and I can let it go…and it moves out into the spaces and places it needs to go.
But now, in this moment, suspended in time, hanging slightly off balance, I await the fate of what it will actually be.
Not yet fully knowing, but leaning heavily into my faith that a divine plan is already in place.
And just like I had to do when things unfolded so rapidly in my dachshund, Joie’s, short-lived life with me, of which I write about in this book. How it seemed to spin way too fast, but yet stopped me dead in my tracks when I had to make a gut wrenching decision to do what I felt was best for her.
How that decision led to the next phase which was a period of transition for me – and that was a whole process of cycles too. And a cycle I had fought against the whole year before. Until I knew I had to look it straight in the face or let it continue to disrupt my inner world.
Days come and go. We create, struggle, fly high, let go, look back, look forward, and search for peace in-between…where peace is always faithful in that it resides here always beckoning us to see that this is truly the only cycle that matters.
Last week I was tagged in a few posts of highly visible Facebook pages that featured my “She Shed” which many of you know is really what I call my writing cottage. It seems that the video piece done by CBS 5 out of Milwaukee, done last June, has gone viral.
She Shed is the term someone came up with and the media has taken off with it. As I’ve written before, it’s not a term I really care for – but it’s the idea that I support.
With high visibility comes snarky comments from others such as “It’s too cluttered,” “I couldn’t live in something that small,” and comments that it’s a waste of money and will soon be abandoned.
I found myself wanting to argue the point of why I feel so blessed to have this space of my own. But after giving it careful thought, I refrained. To be fair, there were many lovely comments, too. But it seems many didn’t take the time to read the story and watch the video as they would have realized what it is truly all about.
But I don’t have to prove anything to those that have something negative to say. This is my life and how I choose to live it. If someone does not agree with it, well, that is their choice.
But in a world of “viral” and many behind the screen of a computer, it’s easy to fire off comments without thinking and ones that can hurt. But then I realized I have a choice as to how I deal with them. I don’t need to.
I have so many other ways in which to use my energy in a positive way. And exactly why I’m honored to have this space of my own where I spend many days writing, sharing my love of animals and my quest for living a simple, creative, and meaningful life.
If my thoughts written in my books and on my blog encourage others to follow their hearts, well then I’m living to my full potential as that is one of my greatest rewards when this happens.
My life (or this space where I work and create) isn’t an argument. It’s one in which I make the choices that are right for me. And it’s one that most days I end with a happy and fulfilling heart. It’s my hope that other’s can do the same and find what matters most to them.
And exactly why I am excited to know that my “She Shed” has gone viral — as it is my hope that it will inspire more women to listen to their own inner voices and follow what will make their hearts most happy.
