New Beginnings. More Time Alone.

Posted by Barbara Techel

10383947_10154383231150607_2098441628179649764_nSo many new beginnings have occurred lately. Along with beginnings, this is oftentimes accompanied by endings, which aren’t always easy.

For years, John had a crew of three working for him in his construction business. Last year we lost two of our employee’s.  One ready to move into another line of work and the other left to work for another contractor. Both had been with us for over ten years.

Then a month ago our third employee, who is one of the hardest working guys I’ve ever met, gave his notice. The construction field can have its challenges. We can’t afford to pay employee’s health insurance and an experienced carpenter caps out on the pay scale at some point.

Time for a new beginning for John, but actually what feels like a full circle moment for us. When he began his business over 20 years ago he was on his own. But when things got so busy, he brought on employee’s.

Then the economy crash of 2008 was very rough.  I’m not complaining, just saying how it is and how you come to new points of view in your life.

While it has not fully recovered in some ways, John has decided to go it on his own again. He has worked hard to build a great name for himself so he can now take jobs that he wants, while not always having to chase for more sales to keep a crew busy.

With everything there is adjustment and John is in transition as our employee’s last day is tomorrow.

As I was thinking about this the other day I all of a sudden felt lonely.  I’ve been home since 1994, having started out helping John in the business working in the office. I ventured out on my own in 2007 with my writing and my school visits with Frankie.

Even though we were coming and going out of the house, about once or twice a week we’d have lunch together at the kitchen table, or steal away on a Friday for a bite to eat.

As I think about this new beginning, John will be on the job site often, which means much more less time at home. While I always try to focus on the positive, I did have a moment of sadness and feeling this impending loneliness of not seeing him as often.

But I believe that all is working out just as it should be. For years John has been giving thought to this transition as we get older so you just have to think that the Universe is working to help him make these changes.

And if I find myself impending the new change and sad about not seeing John as much, I remind myself that he is still here with me on this earth.  This reminder all too real as my mom lost her husband a little over two weeks ago. She is in a transition of her own with no one coming home at the end of the day.

So while it is normal to grieve what was and move through those feelings, it is also important to be thankful for what we have. My mom and her recent loss is my tap on the shoulder and call to my heart to give thanks for the many blessings that I have.

And as my mom says often, “There is a season for everything.” In many ways it feels like a welcome slowing down in our lives as we move into this new change, and a new season to see what gifts they will bring.

And last but not least, I’m never alone, as I’ve always got my sidekicks Gidget and Kylie to keep me company – two huge blessings that I love!

Kylie: My Gentle Friend.

Posted by Barbara Techel

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No matter the worries on my heart,

simply by a hug around this big ole yellow dogs neck,

an understanding glance from her soulful eyes,

her soft body a pillow to rest my tired head,

her quiet presence a place to call home,

to let my worries gently wash away,

and on my way I go again,

my heart renewed and hope restored.

All this from my gentle friend.

The Power of the Pause.

Posted by Barbara Techel

wheelchair joie night

This past week I talked with a friend who is having a tough time, worried about her future as she is in transition. She is struggling with the fear of “what if.”

I think I can safely say that we’ve all found ourselves in this place at one time or another.

The struggle comes in when we buy into having to have everything figured out right now — and that there is no time to pause for fear of what could happen — which oftentimes never happens.

We are a society of doer’s, rushing from one thing to the next, and never sitting long enough to reflect, perhaps mourn what was, and never really listening to our heart whispers of what it is we may want next.

We want to get rid of the uneasy, scary, and uncomfortable feelings as fast as we can and return to a state of happiness. I raise my hand and say, “I’m very guilty of this.”

Joie, my Dachshund in a wheelchair, gone over a year now, taught me the power of the pause. I fought it at first, not wanting to deal with my feelings and so afraid of the unknown.

I recall one day having coffee with an older friend during this time. I shared with her how I felt so lost, wanting to know NOW the next leg of my journey.  She quietly said, “Sometimes it can take years to move through a transition. Try to embrace that.”

I was dumbfounded when she said this. I couldn’t imagine having to wait years. But it was what she had experienced and could say with all honesty, that in the end, it all worked out.

She still had a roof over her head, she had food to eat, she had good friends, she had family to lean on, and she moved through her days trusting this time of uncertainty would figure itself out if she allowed it.

So much can be gleaned in the power of the pause when we sit with all of our feelings. While we may not figure things out right away, owning our feelings, moving through them, and accepting them as a part of who we are — well, as I’ve experienced, there is power in that.

There is freedom in letting go and allowing life to unfold as it is meant to.

While I’m not always good at this and yes, do need to be reminded too, I’ve gotten better at forgiving myself, and understanding that I’m a work in progress.

Each time we embrace every part of ourselves, we then get the opportunity to blossom even more fully into who we are. And Joie’s lesson to me of pausing in times of uncertainty has been a gift of a path unfolding before me just as it is meant to be.