I’m Dreaming of a White…Vamper

I'm Dreaming of a White...Vamper

Don’t let that beautiful, blue sky fool you…. cause baby, it’s cooooold outside!

Windchills are in the minus digits today, also known as frigid, as John and I drove to the body shop to pick up our precious cargo. The van we have been working on converting it into a camper, which we have dubbed The Vamper – Second Chance.

She has a brand new, sparkling look with a fresh coat of white paint. Which as you can see she matches the fresh new white snow we received over the weekend too.

When the owner of the shop called John to let him know the van was done he said, “Just calling to let you know that your awesome van is done!”

Seems most people we share this new adventure with, think it’s quite cool what we are doing. Though there are a few that look at us like we are nuts. But that’s okay – we love being nuts!

As I waited in the car while John brushed off the new fallen white powder on the van I thought back to our trip this fall to Tennessee and the two nights we camped in Second Chance – though she is not yet complete.

And instead of dreaming of a white Christmas, which we will definitely have, I found myself dreaming about next summer and fall when we will venture out as often as we can, to experience life in the vamper, creating new memories.

After the holidays we will begin the next phase of the van conversion with seats installed that will swivel, custom made beds, a kitchen, and storage cabinets.

We will also be on the look out for a room to extend off the side of the van that can be used as an outdoor kitchen and an extra area to hang out. We aren’t having much luck finding something made in the US – what we like we’ve only seen available in the UK. If anyone knows of a resource for rooms such as this, we’d love to know.

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Pretty Versus Beautiful

Pretty Versus Beautiful
Photo credit: Shiloh Sophia

Recently I finished reading a book called, Wiser & Wilder – A Soulful Path to Visionary Women entrepreneurs by Kaya Singer. While this sounds like it may not have anything to do with my title post, Pretty Versus Beautiful, hang with me here. This is how my mind tends to loop.  🙂

Since discovering Kaya’s book I also found out about her podcasts. I’ve been listening to some pretty amazing and inspiring women. Listening to these women living from what is right and true for them has given my wings quite the magical lift.

Book cover artwork by Kaya Singer

My intention for the New Year is to hold more workshops for women to encourage them to pause more often, listen deeply to their soul, and capture what it is that their soul wants them to know. It’s my hope that Joyful Pause studio will be that safe space where they can open to their intuition, simmer in its wisdom and use that awareness to live a more meaningful life.

As I listened to Kaya interview Michelle Grace Lessiard, a shamanic teacher and healer, her departing words of wisdom had my eyes filling with tears. Michelle in part said that woman have to start honoring their intuitive guidance. And that women who are willing to stand up and listen to, and honor their intuition will heal this world.

Earlier in the interview she also talked about how women need to start being kinder to each other. And I believe this to be true also as we women can be awfully tough and judgmental about each other — though I will say, I have felt it is changing for the better.

This leads me to how my thoughts looped to pretty versus beautiful.  Thanks for hanging with me! When I think about a woman who is beautiful, it has nothing to do with her looks. Beautiful to me, is a woman who is clearly comfortable in her own skin, no matter what size, color, or shape she is. She is someone who exudes an inner peace and has done the work, and continues to do so. That is reflected as a beautiful light that shines from the inside to the outside.

There are many pretty women in the world, as society defines pretty, but sometimes it is only on the surface. And please know this isn’t about being catty or jealous, because that isn’t what I’m trying to convey. But there are women who aren’t pretty as culture deems so, but yet they are beautiful. 

One such person that comes to mind right away for me is Lizzie Velasquez, born with a rare syndrome that prevents her from gaining weight. She has endured some mighty painful bullying online and off. But she has taken that and turned it into a way to spread a positive message and is described as a Brave Heart. 

As I type this thinking about her, my eyes fill with tears… she is a Beautiful. Brave. Heart. She is truly one the most exquisite examples of what beautiful is to me. She stands tall in who she is. No. Matter. What. has been thrown at her.

And as I loop back to the conversation between Michelle and Kaya on the podcast, they are what I call two beautiful women also – for listening to, and following their intuition, even when it has felt scary. They are heeding the call to stand in what they believe they are here to do…to help heal this world.

While fear may rear its ugly head at times, I ask that my creator place before me more beautiful women — they are the inspiration that lifts me and feeds my soul to keep following my own intuition and do what it is I feel called to do.

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Surrendering to Exactly Where I’m Meant to Be

Surrendering to Exactly Where I'm Meant to Be

It felt like I’d been hit by a freight train yesterday morning after having chills throughout the night on Monday. I definitely knew I was coming down with something.

For me to have a comforter, plus two heavy blankets covering me and still be chilled well, let’s just say, being a woman in menopause…this was quite unusual. 

While I shivered, my mind was active fighting the thought I was sick. I don’t want to be sick, I moaned inward. I have to many things on my ” to-do”  list.  Things I love and enjoy doing. I also had a lunch date scheduled that I didn’t want to miss.

But when morning came and every muscle in my body screamed when I tried to get out of bed, well, I knew I was going to have to surrender.  Though I still I had a bit of fight in me and wasn’t going to give in that easily.

While feeding the dogs I thought perhaps I could just get through the day, sick or not. But as I moved through the motions I knew that all I wanted to do was lie down again as soon as possible.

I reasoned that I’d just rest and sleep as needed on the sofa until early afternoon and then get some things done after that. I hardly ever get sick, so that looped through my mind too. What did I do to get sick?  I have to be more careful in taking care of myself, I silently scolded myself.

As the afternoon approached and I’d had many conversations in my head in-between sleeping, I had finally had enough. It was time to make peace with the fact that this was exactly where I was meant to be for the day. 

It’s just another one of those lessons and belief’s that we have bought into that we have to keep going, going, going. That to just rest is a sign of weakness.

Just then I glanced down at the end of the blanket, my dear faithful companion, Miss Gidget, asleep at my feet, and I felt myself sink deeper into being in the moment of what was.

Moments later, Kylie came into the living room, walking to the edge of the sofa and looked right into my eyes. I sensed she was there to comfort me too, and to assure me that I needed to stay put and rest.

Funny thing… when I came out to my writing cottage this morning, happy to be back in this sacred space that fulfills my soul, I glanced at the list I had made for Tuesday a few days before.

There was nothing pressing there. I had made it all up in my head. Everything on it could wait. Yesterday, and now in this moment, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Surrender…a gift of acceptance.

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