It felt like I’d been hit by a freight train yesterday morning after having chills throughout the night on Monday. I definitely knew I was coming down with something.
For me to have a comforter, plus two heavy blankets covering me and still be chilled well, let’s just say, being a woman in menopause…this was quite unusual.
While I shivered, my mind was active fighting the thought I was sick. I don’t want to be sick, I moaned inward. I have to many things on my ” to-do” list. Things I love and enjoy doing. I also had a lunch date scheduled that I didn’t want to miss.
But when morning came and every muscle in my body screamed when I tried to get out of bed, well, I knew I was going to have to surrender. Though I still I had a bit of fight in me and wasn’t going to give in that easily.
While feeding the dogs I thought perhaps I could just get through the day, sick or not. But as I moved through the motions I knew that all I wanted to do was lie down again as soon as possible.
I reasoned that I’d just rest and sleep as needed on the sofa until early afternoon and then get some things done after that. I hardly ever get sick, so that looped through my mind too. What did I do to get sick? I have to be more careful in taking care of myself, I silently scolded myself.
As the afternoon approached and I’d had many conversations in my head in-between sleeping, I had finally had enough. It was time to make peace with the fact that this was exactly where I was meant to be for the day.
It’s just another one of those lessons and belief’s that we have bought into that we have to keep going, going, going. That to just rest is a sign of weakness.
Just then I glanced down at the end of the blanket, my dear faithful companion, Miss Gidget, asleep at my feet, and I felt myself sink deeper into being in the moment of what was.
Moments later, Kylie came into the living room, walking to the edge of the sofa and looked right into my eyes. I sensed she was there to comfort me too, and to assure me that I needed to stay put and rest.
Funny thing… when I came out to my writing cottage this morning, happy to be back in this sacred space that fulfills my soul, I glanced at the list I had made for Tuesday a few days before.
There was nothing pressing there. I had made it all up in my head. Everything on it could wait. Yesterday, and now in this moment, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Surrender…a gift of acceptance.
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