self healing

Honoring All the Emotions that Come with the Loss of a Pet

Within the last three months, five people I know have lost their beloved dogs.

My heart goes out to them as they grieve these special and deeply touching relationships with their canine friends.

I’ve not had a dog for almost four years now. Though I’m happy to share that will change this year. My last dachshund, Gidget, I had to say goodbye to the day before Mother’s Day. Never having had children, there was a great deal of significance connected to that day for me and her passing.

While painful at the time, it turned out to be a gifted blessing in disguise as it helped heal a wounded part of me. I wrote about this in my latest memoir, I’m Fine Just the Way I Am – Healing Emotional Pain through the Wisdom of Animals and Oracles.

We’ve certainly learned more about the grieving process over the years and that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Having been through grief with the dogs I’ve loved over the years, I know that each of us is unique in our healing journey. Each process of going through a loss is to be honored with respect and love.

I’m recalling a few years ago when the box that held the ashes of my first special needs dachshund, Frankie, had me pausing and giving thought to what they actually represented for me.

Holding what was left of her contained within that box it came flooding into my awareness that this wasn’t really her. While yes, what was physically left, the soul of her had long ago moved on.

But the love and deep bond we shared is still here. This love is permanently etched into my heart. I carry it with me everywhere I go. This truly rewarding connection I shared with her shaped my life for the better.

With this new understanding, I knew it was time to release Frankie’s ashes. So it was with great care that I gently opened the box, stepped outside, and slowly scattered her ashes among the flowers and shrubs outside my Joyful Pause Cottage studio, where she spent much time with me.

There was a newfound freedom in that I felt I had set her free and given her back to our sacred planet. There was also a welcome and open space within that the love we shared would forever be a part of me – even without the attachment I’d felt for so long of wanting to keep her physical ashes.

Again, grieving is so individual. But it’s important to honor all our feelings no matter when the loss occurred. I truly believe when we can process our grief, and feel all the emotions of it, that we can arrive at a place of happy memories that flood us more often than the pain of loss.

I’ve had the honor of holding space for those grieving the loss of a pet through the oracle readings and healing sessions I provide. It’s an intimate and sacred opportunity to:

·       Give voice to the grief.

·       Calm the worries that sometimes have us wondering what could have been done differently.

·       Helps us give thought to a way in which we can honor our pet.

·       Helps us to see that in time we will experience peace once again.

·       Gifts us with another level of appreciation for this special bond we share between humans and pets.

Over the years I’ve grown in my understanding of the connection between this physical world and the spiritual. And that those we have loved, whether human or animal, are still here, but in a different form, and that we can still connect with them.

Gidget especially helped me deepen this understanding. At times, I still feel her presence while at other times she has come through when doing readings for myself, and with what feels like her ‘signature’ card from the Wisdom of the Oracle- Loyal Heart – as that was a way that even when alive, she’d sometimes ‘speak’ to me.

The two owls looking at each other represent for me in that Gidget so often reflected what I couldn’t always see in myself, and that I was worthy just as I am despite my past wounds.

As I come to a close in sharing my thoughts on the loss of a pet, I turn once again to oracle cards with two questions for those grieving the loss of an animal friend.

1.       What is the first step we can take to help in the process of coping and recovering from the loss of a beloved animal companion?

UNFINISHED SYMPHONY (from Wisdom of the Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid)

The essential meanings of this card are unfinished business; an incomplete lesson, lack of closure; the need to make amends.

I see this card as reflecting that as a culture we are taught to suppress our feelings. How we have often put a time constraint on grieving or that there is a certain way in which we should grieve. Though that has and continues to, change.

The figure sitting atop the egg appears to be sad and in a state of melancholy as a reminder to not run from processing our emotions, but rather to honor them as part of the healing process.

The egg, in which the figure sits, is in many cultures symbolic of fertility, eternity, and the circle of life.

When we don’t allow ourselves the time and space to process our grief, while we may not consciously realize it, we leave ourselves feeling incomplete.

This can block us from welcoming joy back into our lives. And the reality is that the circle of life is truly all about beginnings and endings – and welcoming them both – which gives us the opportunity to live full and enriching lives.

2.      What message do our pets most want us to know?

VULTURE – Poised (from Animal Reflections Healing Oracle by Barbara Techel)

I think about how often Vulture gets such a bad rap. But they so beautifully depict for us that everything serves a purpose.

Did you ever watch how a vulture glides through the air taking advantage of the thermals in the wind? I see this as your pet reminding you to go with the flow of life.

There is and will continue to be, much joy for you to experience, while it’s also vital to allow sadness to be part of your experience too. Without loss, we wouldn’t fully know joy. And vice-versa. Both are necessary.

Vulture reminds us that every change serves a purpose and that nothing is wasted. From grief, we learn to be with those uncomfortable and difficult feelings, and when we allow ourselves to embrace wholeheartedly these emotions, we can more easily find our way back to fondly recalling all the happy moments we shared with our dear animal companions.

Our pets want us to know that we are poised to do this and that there is empowerment that comes with owning all of what we feel. This then allows new opportunities to come into our lives.

And I truly believe, our pets want us to continue to love and experience life to the fullest.

After the loss of my dachshund, Sophie I needed help to cope with the grief and guilt I was feeling. Barb was very compassionate and thorough throughout the entire process of the session. I found it to be accurate and inspiring along with the helpful information I received from before, during, and after the session. ~Sarah & Sophie

If you’d like support with the loss of a pet through a one-to-one oracle reading and healing session click here.

XO

Barb

Creating a Vision for 2023 and With the Help of Animal Guides

Late December I started to see the familiar offerings to take part in creating a word or vision board for the New Year. But it didn’t particularly call to me and I had no plans to do this. Vision boards, especially, I’d found to have become too focused on material things though I’d certainly participated in doing them a few times.

Not that I don’t like material things, as I do. But, let’s just say that they aren’t quite as important to me as they used to be. I realized that over the years, buying things was sometimes more about not dealing with my inner emotions.

It was during two oracle readings in December that I did for myself on the new moon and then the full moon and the card I pulled from my Animal Reflections Healing Oracle that Deer presented herself each time. In my deck, Deer represents gentleness. Both times I pulled the card, tears immediately pooled in my eyes.

I can still be hard on myself at times. I realized Deer was reminding me of the importance of checking in and examining why I get lost within myself at times.

From my guidebook: Deer, gentle and sweet, is a reminder you are your own gentle and powerful healer with the ability to regenerate new roots as you heal your wounded parts. As you become adept at making positive changes you are then able to connect with your empathetic nature, becoming a thoughtful and skilled listener for others who are also in need of some gentle care, understanding, and love.

The more I sat with the word gentleness, the more it moved into my being as a personal focus I wish to live from on a more consistent basis. It fits those areas I can still feel challenged by.

Then came along an offering to do a vision board based on how one wants to feel in the New Year. Now that spoke to me.

And from that experience came my vision board, incorporated with my word for the year, which you can see in the photo above. Then just this morning during my breathwork session, I saw the vision for pulling an animal guide for each of the categories I’d created for my board.

We could choose from a total of eight categories and could do all of them, or pick the ones that most spoke to us. I chose four: family/pets, health/well-being, love/friends, and passion/creativity. I also chose to try and find just one image to convey what I want to feel in each of the categories.

  • Family/Pets: John and I have been talking on and off over the past six months or so about bringing another dog into our life this year. What’s different this time around, is that it is a decision we have made together. Summing it up, the one sentence that bubbled to the surface for me from journaling is not only that our waiting until it was right for both of us, which gave us the experience of deepening in love and peace with each other, that welcoming another dog will have us deepening in love for another being and experiencing the peace and joy that a dog so often brings into one’s life.

Dragonfly with the message of graceful reminds me that when I move from a place of ease and trust that life flows in such a magical way.

  • Health/Well-being: I continue to practice breathwork to help me with my asthma, though I can become quite frustrated when I have flare-ups. In this category, I especially feel the word gentleness is key for me. I love the image I found of the flowers blossoming on the end of tree branches that are shaped in the image of lungs. Breath connects me with all that is really sums it up because when breathing consciously it is what makes me feel alive and connected to my mind, body, and spirit.

Cat with the message of choice says to me that I always have a choice – I can feel frustrated by my breathing challenges and go down the rabbit hole of internally beating myself up, or I can pause, check in with my breath, allow myself the space to do some breathwork, and check in with where I’m at. This is what helps not only allow my lungs to expand but for my mind to expand and let go of any negative thoughts.

  • Love/Friends: This one came up for me this year as a good friend of mine I’ve known for over twenty years will be moving in the not-so-distant future from Wisconsin to Colorado. All the things I’d thought in regard to the future for us have now been changed. While I have no doubt we will stay connected via phone, and Zoom, and when she comes back home to visit, it’s just the realization she won’t be a city away that has had me grieving at times for this impending loss. But I also trust that perhaps a new friendship will come into my life, or perhaps I’ll be just fine with the distant friendship. But most important is that when I’m my authentic self this is what brings me into connection with other like-minded people and together we thrive.

Hummingbird with the message of believe reminds me to continue to focus on my own north star and that when I do the rest of my life falls into place just as it’s meant to be.

  • Passion/Creativity:  I continue to be passionate about how when we do our inner work and connect with animals and nature, we not only thrive individually, but we thrive as a planet. Guiding people to connect deeper with themselves, animals, and nature I express with joy through my oracle readings for people and for pets and their people, my writing, my animal art, and the Animal Reflections Healing Oracle deck I’ll be releasing in Spring.

Vulture with the message of poised is so perfect. I know that when I continue to do my inner work this is what joyfully and passionately feeds my creativity for all that I do, not only for others but in my personal life too. The more I put my focus first and foremost on taking care of myself, the more I am poised to be of service to those that need my guidance.

And just like that. I have a word for 2023 and a vision that feels in alignment with who I already am and who I will deepen into becoming. And best of all? I really appreciate how it evolved in the most organic way.

XO

Barb

To book a private oracle reading just for you click here.

To book a private oracle reading for your pet (and you) click here.

    

The Celtic Healing Oracle – Review

A few weeks ago I was contacted by Inner Traditions/Bear & Company publishing company asking if I’d be interested in receiving a copy of The Celtic Healing Oracle and provide a review.

Such a unique deck with images that remind me of the inkblot tests of 1921 created by Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach. Though the images on The Celtic Healing Oracle cards are much easier to decipher. A few of my favorite images are in the photo above.

To learn more about this deck you can check out the video review I did here for my YouTube channel. Along with my review, I share what I ask of a new deck and share that insight too.

Thank you to Inner Traditions/Bear & Company for the complimentary copy!

XO

Barb

To book a private oracle reading just for you click here.

To book a private oracle reading for your pet (and you) click here.