Winter Solstice begins at 11:30pm tonight. Now the days will grow longer and brighter once again. I don’t mind when the days are shorter and darker as I love to hibernate and get lost in my books reading at night with Frankie snuggled in beside me. But I find myself looking forward to the days that will now begin to expand into more light.

I’ve been struggling with some personal issues that have been deep for me. And in a place I don’t often find myself… restless, sad, and unmotivated. It’s a very uncomfortable place for me to be.

Last night as I turned off my light and closed my eyes, I decided to ask once again for guidance. I also decided to list in my head many things I am grateful for. I also decided to choose to be happy despite some growing pains I am having.

I love the new book by Cheryl Richardson & Louise Hay, You Can Create an Exceptional Life. Louise talks about how she thanks her bed each night for being her place of rest and she chooses to wake up happy and thankful each morning. All our thoughts, are just that… thoughts. Louise teaches us that we get to choose them.

So I tried that once again last night. I dont’ do this on a daily practice, though I keep trying, but fall away from it now and then. But I chose to make it a choice to go to sleep happy and wake up happy. It worked! I felt lighter and happy waking up today. Has it solved my inner conflict I am struggling with?  Not quite, but I have hope I will come to a place of settling with that too.

I found myself chuckling at myself because I teach kids that they have a choice to be positive or negative, and here I am struggling with it. But we all need reminders. I’m happy for the tribe I surround myself with which are great reminders for me. I also think sometimes you just have to go deep into the darkness, sit in the uncomfortableness of it, and pray again for the light, consciously choosing better and better thoughts.

As I got up and on with my day today, I smiled at a quote I cut out of a magazine recently that I taped on my bathroom mirror. I’ve decided when I find a good quote, I will tape them around the house as a way of being positive reminders for myself.  Here is the quote:

“In a way, winter is the real spring, the time when the inner things happen, the resurgence of nature.” -Edna O’Brien

Yup, inner things are at work inside me. I’ve felt this for awhile, a new transition of which I can’t quite name yet… but I am reminded with the Winter Solstice and this quote, that I will emerge a stronger person.