This photo popped up as a memory on my Facebook timeline today. Little Joie, such a sweet, sweet soul. Her time with me short, but that didn’t matter to my heart, as I loved her so much.
It took me quite some time to understand why she had to move on so quickly after coming to live with me. In her leaving, I learned to appreciate and honor the importance of pausing during uncertain times in our life, and how important it is to pause each day, too. To step back, to reflect, to ponder, to be, to really see what is directly in front of me, and most importantly, what is within me.
That inner world we tend to push aside thinking the push and forcing is what will get us ahead in life. That call to take time to re-evaluate our path, though fear can often try and steer us away from taking time to be in the stillness and really listen for the answers.
But time and time again, I’m reminded how vital it is to our well-being to pause and connect with what really matters at each step along the way of life.
A part of me has regret for not fully and truly honoring the gift that Joie left me with. While I wrote about that journey in my second memoir, Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift, for the most part, I kept it quiet that I had published and released this book in early 2017. It was because of fear of judgement and that others wouldn’t understand my need to let go of an identity and move into who I am today.
So in honor of Joie and the lovely reminder of her gift that showed up today as a memory, I’m offering the ebook version of Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift for $1.99 through Sunday, October 14th. I’m providing it as a PDF so you can download to your Kindle, computer, phone or anywhere you read content digitally.
Just click here to purchase or on book cover, and enjoy the pause in reading and how it can open your world to a new perspective and understanding. And feel free to share the purchase link with anyone else who you think would enjoy.
If you’d like to listen to this post as an audio, I’m beginning an experiment and recording some of my posts. You can listen here.
Life isn’t fair. It’s all I could think about after adopting a special needs dog, Joie, and her passing away ten months later.
I was numb. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t understand. A writer, author, and blogger for over six years, I suddenly had nothing left to say. I was scared and didn’t know what my future would look like.
The truth was I’d been ignoring that voice within that had been urging me to slow down, take a break, and re-evaluate what it was I wanted next for my life. But I ignored it.
Until now. Here I was in this space with the one thing I needed to do, but pushed away for the past two years because I was afraid to look because of fear—fear of the unknown and fear of judgement.
The best thing I could do, and I now know looking back, was to honor that nudge that had been trying desperately to get my attention. And so I dropped everything in my professional life, and took a two month sabbatical. Even though it felt extremely uncomfortable the first two weeks to do what felt like nothing.
But with an empty calendar and hours looming before me each day, I made the commitment to journal my thoughts, feelings, challenges, and disappointments in hopes the excavation would reveal my next best step.
It was on the second day of this sacred time that I was guided to pick up a card deck I’d had for quite some time called Grace Cards. While I’d not classify them specifically as an oracle deck, they would introduce me to how there is always a benevolent force of energy guiding us.
Just like many of the dogs in my life have been a reflection for me, guiding me to be my best self, the cards were uncanny in matching my words on the page and what was going on in my inner world as I moved through this time of learning to just be.
It was during this time of transition I’d come to see a deeper meaning to true self-care. While bubble baths, spending time in nature, yoga, and meditation is part of my self-care routine, it was pulling a daily oracle card and journaling with it I was able to move deeper into finding the courage to express what mattered to me.
While I’d write and publish, Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift about this inward journey I took in 2013, I didn’t put any effort into marketing it like I’d done with my previous books. I’d eventually come to realize it was because of fear of judgement that people would think I was wonky for working with oracle cards as a tool for personal growth, as if it wasn’t valid. I’m grateful I now know better!
And it would be over the next few years, and continuing the journey of going inward, working with an animal communicator, a therapist, a pet counselor, and going through Oracle School, I would come to understand how old stories and past wounds I’d carried with me for far too long caused me to repeat patterns with my inner critic leading the way. The one who wanted me to believe I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, that others would judge me, and that what I said and believed didn’t matter.
Self-care came to be about owning all my feelings and emotions and then working to integrate them into pearls of wisdom. And that the wisdom I’d gained from those past hurts and old stories were part of what was integral in helping shape me into who I am. Without those experiences I wouldn’t be the person I am. So I could either continue to curse them, or I could learn from them, understand how they influenced my life, and then release them.
This is what true self-care means to me now. It’s about the willingness to continue to be with my feelings and emotions, even those times when it’s uncomfortable and I’d rather resist and push them away. While I’m not perfect at this, I continue to be in awareness of the gift of this new perspective and trust that these are signposts are guiding me to more compassion, love, and understanding of self.
The three cards I purposely chose to go along with my thoughts on true self care are from The Wisdom of the Oracle deck. They speak to how different our lives can be if we open to the truth in our hearts, remember that a higher power has our back, and how we are then granted more blessed moments when we live in this way.
“You are in transformation. It’s a beautiful place to be.” These are the words I heard from a dear woman who is part of a women’s mastermind circle I’m part of that just began in January of this year.
We meet once a month to support each other in our celebrations, guide us in our challenges, and speak our truth in order to not only move forward in our own individual lives, but to hopefully be the example that shining our light can positively affect those around us.
On this, International Women’s Day, I’m riding on a cloud of gratitude to have been with these five amazing women today and in this time of great change.
For three years I was in transition, which I’d ultimately come to realize was a gift and I write about in my latest book, Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift.
From that transition I realized I was being called to offer creative workshops for women to guide them through their own transitions and transformations, and help them step more fully into their being. It is something I’ve become very passionate about.
But the road hasn’t always been easy because it meant I had to let go of what was in order to accept the call. I had to let go of an identity I had tied myself so closely to, and really, how so many others identified me with as well. That role of sharing the message that dogs with disabilities can live a quality life.
That will always be a part of me. But underneath my work with Frankie the Walk ‘N Roll Dog, my little dachshund in a wheelchair, that little light of mine was gaining new insights. I was growing stronger in my confidence and my belief’s as a woman.
As one of the women today talked about her own transformations over the years, it is her horses that brought her to the awakened place she is today. Tears sprung to my eyes as for me, it’s been my dogs. I wouldn’t be who I am today without opening to the lessons they were teaching me.
And while those lessons remain embedded in my heart, and I’ll always have room in my heart to love dogs, I’ve felt called to expand on who I am, (besides someone who loves animals deeply) and share that with others.
So my friend was right, I’m in transformation. Frankie and Joie (as well as my other dogs) gave me the courage to begin to test my wings to see what I was made of. And now I stand on my own.
It’s a place I want to be. But it also means I have to step out in other ways in order to continue to transform and do the work I wish to do, which is facilitating workshops for women – to be a guide in helping others to tap into their intuition, through creativity and connecting with nature and animals – and my belief that when we take more time to pause and listen to our soul, it will ultimately help us to live more meaningful lives.
Being in transition came the understanding of the importance of letting go and accepting. Now being in this stage of transformation means spreading my wings more fully and shining that light that is being called to shine in a new way.
I’m not alone. This I know. Women all around the world are feeling what they sometimes can’t put words to – but I believe it is that little light within you that wants more than anything to shine in your own brilliant way.
So on this International Women’s Day I celebrate each of you and say from the depths of my heart, Let that Beautiful Light of Yours Shine!
So in honor of Joie and the lovely reminder of her gift that showed up today as a memory, I’m offering the ebook version of Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift for $1.99 through Sunday, October 14th. I’m providing it as a PDF so you can download to your Kindle, computer, phone or anywhere you read content digitally.
