women

The Cottagecore Trend. Have We Come Full Circle?

Posted by Barbara Techel
My favorite Cottagecore space: Joyful Pause Cottage

Anything with the word “cottage” in it I am like a bee that flies headfirst with great delight into the face of a flower to drink up the sweet nectar.

Such was the case the other morning when I serendipitously came across a YouTube video titled, Cottagecore (books, movies, TV shows – to feel all the springtime vibes).

Down the rabbit hole I went with anticipated curiosity to see what this trend called Cottagecore was all about.

In short, from an article by HuffPost: it’s all about looking and living like you’re in some sort of pastoral painting— even if you live far, far away from a farm. I think the key point here is actually living in this way if this is what you feel called to, rather than just looking as if you live in this way.

The article goes on to share that it all started with quarantine during 2020. It’s the younger generation that seems to have come up with this trendy word because they felt called to go back to the roots of what home is all about.

I especially loved what writer, Katherine Livesey had to say in the article: “I would describe it as an aesthetic based upon a quiet, simple life filled with good, wholesome food, animals to care for, a garden to tend to, clothes that feel whimsical and a deep-rooted appreciation for nature and the natural world.”

I would add to this list as it is what I define Cottagecore as is enjoying any form of creativity, exploration of Self, and being open to how the world around guides us through signs and symbolism—and what can sometimes be defined as living a more shamanistic or indigenous way of life.

It also had me thinking about when I left the corporate world back in 1995 at the age of thirty-four. My heart was yearning for a simpler and quieter life and one where I could work from home. But I can’t tell you how long it took me to be okay with this. At times I felt guilty for not working a 9-5 job and bringing in the substantial income as I once had. I also felt odd that I didn’t have kids because you only stayed home if you had children, right? I thought about all the women who fought hard for the feminine movement and equal rights and pay (and in some ways are still working hard to make this happen).

When I left the corporate world I did work part-time for a few years doing bookwork for a general contractor, but eventually, I no longer was. And as you know if you’ve been with me a while, a purpose for my life was revealed with my turning to write about animals, and then five books later… and I continue to evolve.

But at the heart of who I am, I am a Cottagecore girl. I had to bold that statement because it is truly what makes my heart sing!

As I read more about this Cottagecore trend I had a few moments of feeling sad/mad about all the years I wasted worrying about why I felt odd/different. But I also thought about the challenges of last year and how in my heart I hoped more would go back to a simpler way of life—that this would be more accepted in our society. 

It gave me great hope to read that more of the younger generation has come to appreciate home life and that it has such value. I might add, I’m not knocking those (especially women) who want to be in the corporate world and who are leaders, etc., because we need them too! But it took me a long time to be okay with my feelings about the value I added to our home and our life by not working out in the corporate world.

The truth is I learned so much from that time. I learned what I did and didn’t want. I also came to learn over the years that even though I didn’t contribute directly to helping John in his business with some aspects, I contributed greatly in supporting him in other ways. He has done the same for me.

I’ve come to realize that I am a leader. My definition of a leader? Someone who lives from the truth of who they are and does not worry what others may think of their choices. We have to start to expand that definition of a leader because it isn’t just what society has necessarily always deemed it to be.

Perhaps I’m digressing a bit from the theme of Cottagecore, but I don’t think so. I guess because reading about this ‘trend’ brought up so many different feelings and thoughts for me. So it feels like this is all part of it.

In reality, the terms and definitions used to describe Cottagecore really aren’t all that new. Generations before us, and many today have lived in this way all along. But I’m grateful for the attention the word is helping to bring to the forefront that it is perfectly acceptable to live in this way. 

Will the trend stay? I hope in many ways it will. But if anything, for those that this appeals to, my wish is that they will not let society define how to live their life, and live from the heart of who they truly are. We need all hands on deck to live from the beat of their own drum – whether in the corporate world – or Cottagecore world.

And this Cottagecore girl plans to continue to do just that.

XO,

Barb

                     

Embracing Ourselves as Unfinished. It’s a Gift and We Need to Pass it On.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_2044 e“It seems to me that the task of the unfinished woman is to acknowledge her life as a work in progress, allowing each passage, evolution, experience to offer wisdom for her soul.” This passage is from Joan Anderson’s bestselling book, A Year by the Sea.

Joan’s books changed me. They continue to change me. I’ve returned to them again and again. I’m returning to A Year by the Sea once again, beginning today. It’s why I’m writing this post today also, in celebration of Joan’s books having the opportunity to become a motion picture—to inspire and help millions to embrace themselves as unfinished. But she will need our help, so stay tuned to the end of my post and how you can help.

I’ve come to understand more with each passing year, embracing myself as unfinished is a gift. This means there are new opportunities for me to explore and dig further into the soul of who I am. To also truly accept this process is so important too.

While initially, which began in about 2004 for me, this was one of the scariest excavations I’d ever went on, I am so thankful I found the courage to do so. For me, it began with the “ache” of which Joan refers to. I wondered why I was here. What was the reason for my purpose here on earth?

It led me to reaching out to a life coach in 2005. Something I’d never even knew existed until a friend recommended someone she knew who helped people look at these unanswered questions. This is how I found life coach, Diane (now someone I call friend).

The call I made that day is still so clear in my mind. My hands were shaking as I dialed her number. I was scared to look deep into my soul. To know that I had to sit still and listen to the whispers of my heart, because they were getting louder. But the risk to not do so, felt larger to me. I had to take the chance.

I was scared to think about what I might discover. I was scared my marriage might end wondering about the “what if’s.” I was scared that I couldn’t do the inner work that needed to be done.

But that call to Diane changed my life for the better. Shortly after, I discovered Joan’s books which helped me move deeper into understanding the woman that I am, and most importantly, that I was not alone in my feelings.

I’ve also come to really get that we are never finished. We are never complete. This is why we are here. To keep excavating. To continue to awaken each step of the way. To live in awareness of our soul speaking to us. To move deeper inside and capture the true essence of who we are. This is our purpose. Our purpose is not outside of us. It is in us. This is what we must radiate out into the world. This is what makes a difference. This is what gives others permission to do the same.

As I continue working on my book, Joie’s Gift- Finding Purpose in the Pause I am understanding more and more why I had to pause once again when I took my sabbatical last fall. Joie was the gift that helped me see this. In many ways I still consider myself in this pausing and reflecting state as I write the book and live my everyday life.

It didn’t end with my sabbatical. It is a daily journey for me. And I’m often times reminding myself to enjoy the process of being in this inner place of work instead of thinking I have to find a purpose outside of myself. This is my purpose today, tomorrow, and always. Every time I lose my way thinking I should be more and do more, I go back to one of my favorite quotes from Joan in her book, “The Second Journey.”

“Nothing happens overnight. Developing a relationship with the unknown takes time. In doing so the seeker is granted the greatest gift of all—clarity. I have come full circle yet again. I must be willing to journey forward—spiral into the center and then back out again. Then and only then will I be whole, in touch with all that I am.”

I truly can’t say enough good about Joan and her willingness to be vulnerable and share her journey with us. But in doing so, she has helped so many women (and men too) accept themselves for who they are. Those inner soul explorers, by doing so, have encouraged others to do the same, whether they know it or not. And those beacons of lights of courage are radiating out into the world with each one of us that find the courage to live from the very soul of who we are.

So here is how you can help Joan’s books become a motion picture in Hollywood!

Stop by her Facebook page, A Year by the Sea and give it a “like.” Then share the page and video with 10 of your friends.

If you’ve not read her books, I’d encourage you to do so. Here is her website and A Year by the Sea website.