life coach

I Am An Unfinished Woman.

woman-960x565Today I am quite honored to be a guest blogger on The Gift of Writing blog which is one of my favorite sites for weekly inspiration!

It starts like this…

I am unfinished.

Understanding this at its core continues to come in waves for me. It’s an awareness I now carry with me every day of my life. I am a work in progress. There are many layers to who I am and I will never be complete.

Feeling an unexplainable void in my early 40s and caring for my chocolate Lab who was terminally ill with bone cancer, I found myself questioning my purpose. Why was I here? I also seemed to have lost the joy in my life that used to come so easily to me.

It’s not easy asking for help. Come on over to read the rest!

Embracing Ourselves as Unfinished. It’s a Gift and We Need to Pass it On.

IMG_2044 e“It seems to me that the task of the unfinished woman is to acknowledge her life as a work in progress, allowing each passage, evolution, experience to offer wisdom for her soul.” This passage is from Joan Anderson’s bestselling book, A Year by the Sea.

Joan’s books changed me. They continue to change me. I’ve returned to them again and again. I’m returning to A Year by the Sea once again, beginning today. It’s why I’m writing this post today also, in celebration of Joan’s books having the opportunity to become a motion picture—to inspire and help millions to embrace themselves as unfinished. But she will need our help, so stay tuned to the end of my post and how you can help.

I’ve come to understand more with each passing year, embracing myself as unfinished is a gift. This means there are new opportunities for me to explore and dig further into the soul of who I am. To also truly accept this process is so important too.

While initially, which began in about 2004 for me, this was one of the scariest excavations I’d ever went on, I am so thankful I found the courage to do so. For me, it began with the “ache” of which Joan refers to. I wondered why I was here. What was the reason for my purpose here on earth?

It led me to reaching out to a life coach in 2005. Something I’d never even knew existed until a friend recommended someone she knew who helped people look at these unanswered questions. This is how I found life coach, Diane (now someone I call friend).

The call I made that day is still so clear in my mind. My hands were shaking as I dialed her number. I was scared to look deep into my soul. To know that I had to sit still and listen to the whispers of my heart, because they were getting louder. But the risk to not do so, felt larger to me. I had to take the chance.

I was scared to think about what I might discover. I was scared my marriage might end wondering about the “what if’s.” I was scared that I couldn’t do the inner work that needed to be done.

But that call to Diane changed my life for the better. Shortly after, I discovered Joan’s books which helped me move deeper into understanding the woman that I am, and most importantly, that I was not alone in my feelings.

I’ve also come to really get that we are never finished. We are never complete. This is why we are here. To keep excavating. To continue to awaken each step of the way. To live in awareness of our soul speaking to us. To move deeper inside and capture the true essence of who we are. This is our purpose. Our purpose is not outside of us. It is in us. This is what we must radiate out into the world. This is what makes a difference. This is what gives others permission to do the same.

As I continue working on my book, Joie’s Gift- Finding Purpose in the Pause I am understanding more and more why I had to pause once again when I took my sabbatical last fall. Joie was the gift that helped me see this. In many ways I still consider myself in this pausing and reflecting state as I write the book and live my everyday life.

It didn’t end with my sabbatical. It is a daily journey for me. And I’m often times reminding myself to enjoy the process of being in this inner place of work instead of thinking I have to find a purpose outside of myself. This is my purpose today, tomorrow, and always. Every time I lose my way thinking I should be more and do more, I go back to one of my favorite quotes from Joan in her book, “The Second Journey.”

“Nothing happens overnight. Developing a relationship with the unknown takes time. In doing so the seeker is granted the greatest gift of all—clarity. I have come full circle yet again. I must be willing to journey forward—spiral into the center and then back out again. Then and only then will I be whole, in touch with all that I am.”

I truly can’t say enough good about Joan and her willingness to be vulnerable and share her journey with us. But in doing so, she has helped so many women (and men too) accept themselves for who they are. Those inner soul explorers, by doing so, have encouraged others to do the same, whether they know it or not. And those beacons of lights of courage are radiating out into the world with each one of us that find the courage to live from the very soul of who we are.

So here is how you can help Joan’s books become a motion picture in Hollywood!

Stop by her Facebook page, A Year by the Sea and give it a “like.” Then share the page and video with 10 of your friends.

If you’ve not read her books, I’d encourage you to do so. Here is her website and A Year by the Sea website.

 

The Effect of a Life Coach on a Marriage

barb and john july 2013 1200In 2005 I hired a life coach to help me answer some questions that I couldn’t seem to answer on my own. I was happy with my life with my husband, John, but felt like there was something missing for me.  The question, “What does Barb want?” kept running through my mind. What was it I wanted that would make me feel fulfilled on a personal level?

Until yesterday, I never knew that when I decided to hire a life coach, John was afraid of what that might mean for our marriage.  In being a mentor for our young friend, Cassy, who is going through a divorce, as well as making some other big decisions she is tackling, we have had some deep discussions. I didn’t realize that John was afraid he might lose me when I announced I wanted to work with a life coach years ago.

It never occurred to me that my wanting to do some soul searching felt scary and uneasy for him. What if I decided I was unhappy in our marriage and wanted to pursue other avenues?  It never crossed my mind at the time because it was the furthest thing from my mind. I loved him.

The amazing thing about John of which I am so blessed to call him my partner, friend and husband, is that he supported my decision one hundred percent. He wanted me to feel fulfilled and happy. Now knowing how he felt then, he risked his heart and kept his worries to himself. I’ve always felt so incredibly lucky to be married to him, but knowing this now, makes me love him all the more.

While I can’t guarantee everyone who hires a life coach that it will have a positive effect on their marriage, I am confident in saying that working with a coach was one of the best decisions I did for my own well being–which in turn benefited my marriage in ways I never imagined or even realized until today.