In 2005 I hired a life coach to help me answer some questions that I couldn’t seem to answer on my own. I was happy with my life with my husband, John, but felt like there was something missing for me. The question, “What does Barb want?” kept running through my mind. What was it I wanted that would make me feel fulfilled on a personal level?
Until yesterday, I never knew that when I decided to hire a life coach, John was afraid of what that might mean for our marriage. In being a mentor for our young friend, Cassy, who is going through a divorce, as well as making some other big decisions she is tackling, we have had some deep discussions. I didn’t realize that John was afraid he might lose me when I announced I wanted to work with a life coach years ago.
It never occurred to me that my wanting to do some soul searching felt scary and uneasy for him. What if I decided I was unhappy in our marriage and wanted to pursue other avenues? It never crossed my mind at the time because it was the furthest thing from my mind. I loved him.
The amazing thing about John of which I am so blessed to call him my partner, friend and husband, is that he supported my decision one hundred percent. He wanted me to feel fulfilled and happy. Now knowing how he felt then, he risked his heart and kept his worries to himself. I’ve always felt so incredibly lucky to be married to him, but knowing this now, makes me love him all the more.
While I can’t guarantee everyone who hires a life coach that it will have a positive effect on their marriage, I am confident in saying that working with a coach was one of the best decisions I did for my own well being–which in turn benefited my marriage in ways I never imagined or even realized until today.