women’s issues

I Am An Unfinished Woman.

Posted by Barbara Techel

woman-960x565Today I am quite honored to be a guest blogger on The Gift of Writing blog which is one of my favorite sites for weekly inspiration!

It starts like this…

I am unfinished.

Understanding this at its core continues to come in waves for me. It’s an awareness I now carry with me every day of my life. I am a work in progress. There are many layers to who I am and I will never be complete.

Feeling an unexplainable void in my early 40s and caring for my chocolate Lab who was terminally ill with bone cancer, I found myself questioning my purpose. Why was I here? I also seemed to have lost the joy in my life that used to come so easily to me.

It’s not easy asking for help. Come on over to read the rest!

Young or Old – We are all a Work in Progress – Horizons 4 Girls

Posted by Barbara Techel

1208780_10201783198614051_2718885650038954779_nAs I mentioned yesterday, I said I would be meeting with Horizons 4 Girls, a nonprofit group in our area mentoring young girls helping them with family life, peer pressure and education expectations, guiding them with personalized assistance in help with their studies and life decisions.

We were an intimate group of three young ladies, as well as the staff of four. This time of year seems to be a challenge with the 14 girls in the group trying to keep up with studies and books needing to be read so it was discussed to possibly have me come back this summer to meet the other girls.

But I enjoyed meeting these three young ladies, who were all unique and beautiful in their own individual ways. It was fascinating to me to find myself sharing my story with them, as if looking in a mirror at my younger self. All the same challenges still exist today, as they did for me when I was becoming a young woman.

At times my heart ached for some of their challenges, such as peer pressure and worrying what others say about them or think about them, or how people perceive them.

Interestingly enough, I had just come from my class I’ve been taking part in the last nine weeks called, “Unwrapping your True Self.” As I talked with the girls, I shared with them that I am in this class right now, continuing to work on who I am and to stand strong in my belief’s. My advice to them as I thought about that is that we never truly arrive, but that we are all a work in progress.

I hope by showing myself as an example of a woman who still needs to pay attention to working on herself often, they will see that none of us are perfect. But if we are willing to keep looking for the light in our own soul, it will lead us down the right paths in our lives.

We discussed everything from body image, worrying what others think of our choices, writing, judgement, following your heart, to Gidget and her disc disease.

As I drove home I found myself admiring these young ladies for having the courage  to be a part of this program, to be there for the help and guidance that will help them be the best that they can be. And as is my wish for all women, my hope is for these young ladies to continue to find the courage to let their inner light shine. They inspired me to keep doing the same.

How My Dog Joie & Joan Anderson’s memoir, “The Second Journey” Taught Me about the Importance of Learning to Pause.

Posted by Barbara Techel

joie 1200I was so exciting to read on Facebook today that one of my favorite authors books is being made into a motion picture. Well, actually, three of Joan Anderson’s memoirs are being rolled into one for the movie, A Year by the Sea which is also the name of her first book.  I’ve read all her books twice, with the exception of The Second Journey which I’ve read three times.

I actually got tears in my eyes when I saw the announcement because Joan’s books mean that much to me. They’ve helped me in countless ways.

I’ll be quoting Joan in my upcoming book, Joie’s Gift: Finding Purpose in the Pause. I actually may end up quoting her more than once, though I’m not that far along in my manuscript to know for sure. But the journal I kept during my sabbatical has many of her quotes that spoke to me during that time. Her books were the one’s I turned to once again seeking answers to my many unanswered questions.

At the time, which was last fall, I felt completely empty and spent after Joie passed away. I just didn’t know where my life was headed. Joan’s memoirs helped me to see once again, that pause’s in ones life are necessary to move forward.

I’ve written about this before, but with this announcement of the movie, it brought it all back for me again and the utterly amazing moment that happened to me a few weeks after Joie died.

Reading from The Second Journey, I came across the following passage which resonated with me deeply, which I read out loud to John and my friend Cassy who were with me at the time:

“Nothing happens overnight. Developing a relationship with the unknown takes time. In doing so, the seeker is granted the greatest gift of all—clarity.

I have come full circle yet again. I must always be willing to journey forward — spiral into the center and then back out again. Then and only then will I be whole, in touch with all that I am.” second_journeyI felt lost and no sense of direction as I headed into my sabbatical. Grieving yet for Joie, I also felt restless some days trying to just take this pause in my life, while at the same time wanting answers now. I was also questioning if what seemed like doing nothing was the right thing to do.

After I read that passage, I reached down to take a sip from my drink that was resting on the arm of the Adirondack chair.  Drips of condensation fell from the glass.  When I glanced down, this is what I saw:

water paw print 1200Always one open to signs, there it was right in front of me. I was in complete awe. To me, it was Joie’s affirmation, and her gift to me, that I was exactly right where I needed to be at that time in my life. No question about it what-so-ever.

I’ll be writing more about my sabbatical and what I learned from it in my book, Joie’s Gift- Finding Purpose in the Pause. But I sit here five months later with more clarity than I had then—Joie and Joan were right. Though I don’t always have a definitive path set like I felt I did the days I did with my work with Frankie, I learn more and more to trust that what needs to be revealed will continue to show itself to me.

I also feel a sense of new excitement for my manuscript which I’ve been working on for three months now. Some days I think it’s crap, some days I wonder if there really is a story here, and some days I just want to quit. But for the most part I keep showing up for a date with my laptop to write each day. And today I can’t help but think that hearing about A Year by the Sea in a small way is a message of clarity for me to keep going.  Thanks Joie and Joan— I needed to hear this today.

I really can’t recommend Joan’s books enough. Truly, a must read for every woman!  You can learn more about Joan and her books on her website.