What I’m Taking with Me Into 2020

 
It was in 2015 that I began to be nudged to acknowledge and honor my inner Child that was wounded. This nudge became more intense over the next three years until it came to a full head-on moment in the winter of 2018 when I felt like I wanted to die instead of dealing with the pain.
 
That journey – one of healing – is chronicled in my new memoir coming out in early 2020.
 
As I picked this oracle card this morning, I knew what I’d be taking with me into the New Year.
 
For as long as I can remember, and I’ve no doubt many of you can relate too, I was so afraid to make mistakes. What if I was wrong? What if I looked stupid? What if no one believed me?
 
But the more I listened to that part of me (my ego), the more my inner Child felt misunderstood and abandoned and the more she cried out for me to please lovingly and gently attend to her.
 
And so I take with me into 2020 what I’ve learned the past four years of deep inner work, loving that little girl within me, listening to her, acknowledging her, holding her, and most of all, finally believing her.
 
And it’s perfectly okay to make mistakes – as they are guiding posts to what we can change in our lives for the better – and it frees us from this endless and tireless drive to be perfect – which society will continue to try to put upon us – until more and more of us say no more.
 
As I’ve written in my memoir and truly believe…I Am a work in progress…we all are…and this means I will still make mistakes. But I take with me an evolved understanding that I have a choice to look at these moments as opportunities and course correct.
 
The more I love that inner child, the more I want to dance and twirl and allow more fun and spontaneity into my life and continue to be true to the heart of who I am.
 
xo,
Barbara
 
Card from: The Wild Offering Oracle by Tosha Silver