Some of my dreams of late have been filled with a relationship I’d thought I’d completely let go of. Today I woke up frustrated that yet another dream last night had me wrestling with trying to understand what had happened and why couldn’t I just let this go for good.
After my morning meditation, I grabbed my journal and asked what it was I needed to know to completely let go of this person who left from my life quite a few years ago. Pulling an oracle card from the Mystical Shaman Oracle, one of my favorite decks to work with, I received, The Hummingbird.
I felt my frustration melt. Hummingbird so significant for me in the deep knowing I experienced in 2012, two weeks after my dachshund, Frankie passed, and she visited me as a hummingbird, fluttering within inches of my face for several seconds. It still makes my heart expand to this day recalling that beautiful moment.
Before turning to the guide book I journaled that hummingbird was sharing with me that I won’t have peace, joy or freedom if I hold onto resentment in that this relationship had ended in such an abrupt and hurtful-to-me way. I realized that if this person had stayed in my life, it would have been restrictive because I felt that not only did it feel like I gave more than received, but also in that I gave much of my power away, also.
Turning to the booklet what really jumped out at me was the line, “Hummingbird teaches us to be gentle to ourselves and protect personal space.”
I was reminded that, of course, I have a choice of whether or not I allow that relationship to continue to take up space within my inner world.
Additional insight said, “Bypass the dung pile of old pain and hurts, head for flowers, and learn to trust the calling you hear ever so softly.”
So true, I thought. It is indeed time for me to take flight away from this old wound. If I stay living in that story, I won’t have the energy to fulfill my new mission as an Oracle Guide.
As I sat in contemplation a bit longer another oracle card which has been showing up often lately for me from the same deck, Wild Woman, showed itself to me quite vividly in my mind. She is the woman I have the choice to claim each and every day.
I choose to live in the here and now, and see that past relationship as a gift, in that if I’d still be there, I’d not have had learned what I needed to in order to evolve into who I now am.
“Still your mind and heed the gentle voice that calls to you to test new wings.”
So many experiences in our lives are indeed part of helping us test our wings, so that we can continue to gain more confidence with who we already are. I’m thankful for the poignant message, and just what I need to hear today, from Hummingbird.
XO,
Barbara