I woke up Sunday morning with the niggle to clean up my writing cottage. So I spent the day decluttering, dusting, re-arranging, discarding and sweeping. I could hardly wait to come out to my writing cottage Monday morning as the new, refreshing energy was calling to me.
Walking through the door I was giddy with the light and airy feeling that embraced me. I just sat in my chair and took a moment to slowly look all around the room. It felt like I was floating on a feather that was ever so gently drifting in the wind.
I thought about how my latest book is complete. I have a clean slate and another opportunity at a fresh new start.
Looking at my altar(the photo above) which takes on different objects throughout the seasons, I thought about Gidget. In May it will be one year since she moved on. Her photo had been on my altar since then. I can’t tell you how often I looked at it, talked to her, and stroked the body and ears of the photo.
I also knew yesterday as I cleaned and re-arranged that it was time to move her from the altar. My altar—a space where I go for my inward work— pulling oracle cards, journaling my thoughts, connecting with my heart, and one that supports my continued healing journey.
While there are times I still miss her physical presence these last nine months have also been filled with what I find so difficult to put into words— it’s been a time of what I can only describe as a deepening of my love and gratitude for her and how she walked so very lovingly beside me as I went through a very dark time.
I’ve often said, and will continue to say because it’s what I believe, is that we are all a work in progress and we are always in some phase of healing. Gidget’s teaching continues to be such a blessing and I’ve found myself expanding on it even though she is gone. I welcome being in this new space of relationship with her. I feel also like I’ve moved into a new space of healing and why I felt called to move her photo from the altar.
I placed the photo on my writing desk and to the right of my computer. This feels symbolic to me. She was the one that patiently and with such devotion stood by me through it all – knowing and believing I could find my way out of the darkness. She is the one that helped me finally accept that I am worthy – just as I am. I know and feel this now.
Having her photo on my desk where I can see her and she is looking back at me is a nod to her wise, healer self, and her beautiful teaching to me that I’ve learned to embody that says, this is me and I’m Fine Just the Way I Am.
My writing cottage has a fresh new start, my heart one too, and my relationship with Gidget that continues to evolve and is my beacon of guiding light I feel so remarkably blessed to have.
xo,
Barbara
