Do Curly Girls Have More Fun? Embracing Mine.

Do Curly Girls Have More Fun? Embracing Mine.

Hair. Oh, how at times I’ve been upset with myself that I’ve spent so much time fussing and worrying about mine (and the money I’ve spent!). But I’m happy to report that I’ve gotten better over the years — and even more so most recently as I’ve taken a big leap in accepting what I have.

It all began a few months ago when I found a hairstyle I wanted to try. It was a kind of kinky/curly style and I thought I’d have to get a perm. But the gal, Missy, who styles my hair talked me out of it saying a perm wouldn’t be good for my type of hair. While I really wanted a perm and was disappointed, I did appreciate her honesty and looking out for me.

The next time I went in for a cut, Missy showed me how to work with my hair…and wa la, I have curls. And I’m having so much fun with it!!– especially running into family and friends since I’ve welcomed my curls. Everyone thinks I’ve gotten a perm. When I say, “turns out I have curls” they are in disbelief. “You mean you’ve had curly hair all along and you straightened it?” is the response I’ve been getting often.

I’ve always known I’ve had a bit of a wave to my hair, and while I never had it professionally straightened, I would blow dry it out every other day with a brush and then curl it with a big curling iron. So in all honesty, I never knew my hair could curl like it does. I was too busy fighting to make my hair what I wanted it to be, instead of working with what I already had.

A few weeks ago when I had my hair cut again and Missy brought out my curls again, a gal came into the salon I’d worked with years ago at Kohl’s. She commented on how cute my hair looked and said, “I didn’t realize you had curly hair.” 

“Well, I have a wave in my hair.”

Missy said, “Barb… you have curly hair.”

“I do? Really?” I said, still not really believing it.

And that’s when she told me over 65% of women have curly hair according to a book by Lorraine Massey called Curly Girl: the handbook. 

The thing is, I’d always wanted long, blonde, straight hair. I bought into the belief that this is what is “sexy” and what every man likes. So all this time I struggled with trying to have something I’d never have.

But no more… because quite honestly, I’m having so much fun as a curly girl! And I have to say I agree with my best friend, who says my curls really fit my bubbly personality.

And it truly is more than about my hair as I go below the surface. It’s about accepting another part of myself, about letting go of a belief I bought into, of worrying about “fitting in,” and that I wouldn’t be a “pretty” as defined often by society…. but most of all, it was about my own insecurity.

While my curly hair does not take much effort on my part…and I’m loving it and having so much fun… it’s been the letting go of, and accepting what is, where the true freedom is.

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This Thanksgiving – I am Grateful for Hope and More Sparks of Light.

artwork by Shannon Brack Winter

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.

Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do. – Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I share this section above from an article I read this morning by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, who is also author of Women Who Run with Wolves. I found myself getting choked up reading it because it solidifies once again my own commitment to not giving up on hope and moving forward in continuing to let my light shine out into this world.

I know so many (including myself at times) can feel overwhelmed when situations around us feel so big and out of control like many things have of late— and we can be left to feel helpless and not sure what we can each do. But I’m reminded once again, which has lit a fire within me, that there is hope. You are hope. I am hope. And we can each make a difference by being that hope so that it spreads to another who needs hope.

It just so happened that after reading this piece from Estes today, I had plans to be with a dear, young soul, named Rachel. I’ve known her for a few years, but have had the pleasure of getting to know her better lately. We have come together and will be teaching a workshop that we both happened to discover we were both interested in offering. So we decided to combine our energy and efforts to do so.

We will be teaching a workshop on the meaning of a Native American tradition called Talking Sticks, to be held in December on the night of the solstice. Today we met so we could experience for ourselves the magic and power in creating our own Talking Stick —an experience so rich and beautiful that I am still soaking in all that it brought to my soul in such a positive and uplifting way.

We are both passionate about encouraging others to open to their intuition so that others can experience the many gifts this has to offer and enrich ones life.

After being with Rachel who is twenty years younger than me, having read Estes article of hope, and thinking about Thanksgiving tomorrow, I’m feeling full up with gratitude and a huge helping of hope for the future not only for myself, but for others too who commit to finding a way to be who they are meant to be…and to not lose hope.

While I know it may likely be a rocky road for many, I also know that in order to achieve that light within oneself, the journey calls for looking within, really listening, and honoring those whispers that want to come forth. It’s my hope that my blog, future workshops I offer, and just by being who I authentically am, will be part of that hopeful, positive light that shines out as a beacon of promise, and by default will give permission to others to let the light of their true self shine, too. 

If you are interested in learning more about the Talking Sticks workshop, please visit my workshop page here.

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Crying for a Woman I Never Met – Honoring Seena Frost.

Crying for a Woman I Never Met - Honoring Seena Frost.

Seena Frost, Founder of SoulCollage®.com

I never met Seena Frost— the remarkable woman who created the process called SoulCollage®. A creative, intuitive, and fun process I learned about in 2014 and trained to become a facilitator.

I was overcome with emotion when I read this on her daughter, Jennifer’s Facebook page today:  “my mother and friend, merged peacefully into oneness with Spirit late last night at home with her family gathered around her.”

Why does this feel so emotional? I wondered. And as I thought about it there are many reasons. First, to think about losing my own mother someday I know will be one of the hardest things I will ever have to face. I can’t even imagine it. But I know this is reality and I pray she will have the same peaceful transition as Seena when her time comes.

Second, I have such immense admiration for Seena. She made such a difference in this world. She has helped thousands, many being women, to find their authentic voices and to be proud in letting their light shine.

In a world where so many are frightened to let the mask come off and be who they really wish to be in fear of judgment, to have had someone like Seena who thrived on encouraging others to tap into their own wisdom, was such a gift – a deeply, rich, wonderful gift.

I’m also getting ready to facilitate a SoulCollage® workshop in my home this Saturday in the lower level of my home which I’ve dubbed, “Joyful Pause Studio.” It’s not my first time sharing this process, but it is the first time in my new space.

I can’t tell you how often I’ve felt scared to take this leap – scared that no one will sign up for the workshops —worried about being disappointed. But I’m honored to have five ladies who will be taking part in the workshop this Saturday.

And so it will be an even more special honor in sharing this with this group of ladies, knowing that I, along with over 2,300 other facilitators, are carrying on the legacy of Seena  – with our own authentic styles and voices added to the mix.

I discovered through the many thoughtful memories being shared on Facebook of Seena something she wrote in an article that I want to share also in her honor and memory:

“I truly believe that creating our SoulCollage® cards and sharing them in groups adds positive energy to this cosmic vibration, and will help humans move into the next paradigm. We may not be able to see it, but perhaps, if we look up at the night sky, we can be reminded and reassured of the vastness of Indra’s Net, and, as individual jewels, continue to create and share compassion and hope and humor and love.”

Seena, now part of that night sky, shining ever so brilliantly bright – I take into my heart that beautiful vibration of her spirit and hope that by sharing this process with others, I too, can make a difference in helping others feel safe in sharing their inner light.

Godspeed Seena. Godspeed.

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