Last week in celebration of the release of my new book, Wisdom Found in the Pause – Joie’s Gift I did my first ever live event on Facebook. I was quite nervous, but afterwards I received such wonderful feedback from many – it made it all very well worth it and I’m so glad I took the plunge. If you didn’t have a chance to watch live, you can view the recording here.
But one question I got, which I think is important to expand on is this one from viewer, Sharon: “How did you resolve your issue of comparing Joie to Frankie?”
I do write about this in Wisdom Found in the Pause, but what I came to understand is that I had so closely tied my identity to Frankie and all my work with her, that when she died, I felt like I had lost my sense of purpose. And we all know how so many of us search a for what seems a good long time to find our purpose – and many that feel they never find one.
Even though I’d been feeling this nudge to expand, I didn’t quite know what that looked like. So it felt more comfortable to think I’d continue to do what I’d always done, instead of marinating in the feelings I was experiencing that I was being called to end the chapter I defined as “Frankie.” While I truly wanted another special needs dachshund to love and care for, what wasn’t clear was how I was going to move forward now that Frankie was gone.
Many of you know I adopted Joie four months after Frankie’s passing and I was so happy to have a little one to care for again. As the days started to unfold I was having a hard time feeling a bond with her, or feeling deeply connected, like I had with Frankie.
What I did was reach out to my friend, Dawn, who is an animal communicator. She had helped me before with Frankie and I felt confident she could do the same with Joie.
While I don’t want to give it all away (and you can read more in my new book), it was during the reading with Dawn that I had the courage to admit I knew I was comparing Joie to Frankie. It wasn’t that I was really doing it consciously, but rather subconsciously. And the issue was really all about me. I was having a hard time letting go of Frankie and what was. I needed to let things evolve organically with Joie and let her be her own dog. I truly wanted what was best for her and wanted more than anything for her to feel loved, safe and nurtured.
In many ways I owed this to Joie – but I also owed it to myself to see the truth of what was transpiring. And the beauty of one of the many gifts that Joie brought to my life. She helped me to see that I could let go and move forward – that I could expand on who I was and it would all be okay.
Every dog arrives in our lives to teach us something – arriving at just the right time – and I knew it was up to me to open myself fully to the lessons Joie was here to teach me, not only so she herself could live a happy and quality life while here – but that Frankie could rest in peace – and I could live more from the truth of who I am.
Tomorrow I’ll be sharing a link to auhtor, Jackie Bouchard’s blog, PoochSmooches. We did a recent Q & A about my book, Wisdom Found in the Pause, and one of the questions I enjoyed answering is this one:
- I really related to the quote from Sue Bender (p108) to “practice feeling good where you are.” I have to continually remind myself of the lesson from our angel Abby – to live in the moment. I think this is such a great lesson for everyone, no matter where you are in life. Can you expand on how you practice feeling good about where you are?
I hope you will stay tuned for my answer!
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