May 11th will mark the one year anniversary since Gidget has been gone. It was the day before Mother’s Day when we had to say goodbye to her. I still remember clearly right before she passed and the message she gave me from the lyrics of a song by Terry Jacks, “We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.”
As the day of her passing grows closer I’ve been thinking about her often. Today I was planting lavender in one of my garden beds thinking about how she loved to lie in the sun near me when I was in my gardens. As I dug a hole in the dirt to place the new plant, I came across some rocks and within them, a tiny heart-shaped rock.
My heart burst with joy and I smiled. I knew it was Gidget letting me know all is well. You may recall after we laid her to rest in an area of the garden next to writing cottage that I placed rocks in the shape of a heart as a tribute to her. Just as I’d placed the last stone, I noticed a small stone off to the side shaped like a heart, which I placed within the large heart symbolizing our hearts will always be connected.
So what a gift this was to receive another heart-shaped stone as I was thinking of her!
Looking up the symbolism of the Lavender flower I came across this that resonated for me:
Lavender flowers are purple in color and the color purple is associated with the crown chakra, which is the energy center associated with higher purpose and spiritual connectivity. The crown or 7th chakra is located at the top of the head and the vibration of the crown is the highest vibration in the physical body. This symbolism is appropriate as the Lavender flower is often used for healing and raising our vibration to the highest level possible is the easiest path to healing.
Gidget, as many of you know, I called my Buddha Dog – My Master Teacher and Healer – because she helped me heal a long-held secret from my childhood. How fitting it is that I was thinking of her planting the Lavender and she sent me the heart stone. When we believe in our own higher self connected with the Divine, well, magical and beautiful things happen that confirm for us that truth.
We’ve had some warm days in-between some chilly ones. I’ve taken full advantage of the warm ones. I pulled Gidget’s dog stroller out of the corner of the garage and we’ve been strolling through our quaint village when we can.
Whenever I drive into town, I drive by Miss Marie’s home. There is no other way around it really, as it is part of our small downtown. It’s hard to see it so quiet and closed up. Though there is a tenant living upstairs yet. But it’s sometimes a jolt to know Miss Marie will never again walk down the steps of her back porch, nor will I see her in her oilcloth apron, or hear her one-of-a-kind laugh.
It’s been one month since she died. It kind of amazes me that this much time has passed already.
I’d been avoiding walking on the sidewalk next to her house. Instead, I’d stand across the street and take a few moments staring at her home wishing she’d still be there.
But the other day I decided to walk by. She never really had a lawn. Instead, the yard is landscaped with many plants and shrubs growing wildly. This time of year with winter now on its way out, everything is still in its dormant stage. But underneath I’ve no doubt there is life just waiting to burst forth.
As I rounded the corner to walk past the front of her home – her home is on a corner lot – there among the plants that lie still without visible life yet, was this small patch of snowdrop flowers.
I know Miss Marie’s soul lives on. I just can’t see it. I can’t tell you how often I hear “Miss Barbara” in my mind as I’m thinking about things we talked about or making decisions I need to make.
When I saw these sweet snowdrops I couldn’t help but think how life continually renews itself.
Some of the common meanings for the snowdrop flowers are purity, hope, rebirth and consolation or sympathy.
Miss Marie may not be here physically, but her spirit lives on in so many of the lives she touched. Her life is renewed in a new way, as is mine as I open to connecting with her in a different way now. And her home that will come to life again someday with new residents I’m sure.
But for now, it feels like such sacred ground as I continue to honor the gift of Miss Marie and all she brought me in my life.
XO,
Barbara
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It’s been an interesting summer so far. I’ve been taking part in a 22-week online course called The Magic of You with transformational coach, Jocelyn Mercado which began mid-June.
In part, because I want to expand my reach and offer more of the SoulCollage workshops I facilitate, online. I’m also taking the course because I want to offer oracle card readings, incorporating the wisdom of animals, as a way to help guide others through life’s bigger questions.
The hardest part for me, and what the course helped me greatly with, was deciding whether or not to let go of the name of my website, Joyful Paws.
As many of you know who have followed me since 2007, I’ve been gradually expanding from my work with my wheelchair dog, Frankie. And while I don’t believe I’m done writing books and there will be at least one more book I’ll write, I’ve decided to set writing in that capacity to the side for now.
When I sat with my feelings about letting go of Joyful Paws, I just couldn’t do it and honestly, I didn’t want to. But I was so torn because I really want to expand my reach and help more women live fulfilling and meaningful lives. Could I do that with the same domain name? While I’ve talked about this before on my blog, the course has really helped me to finally see that it is a part of me and always will be. That made my heart sing!
Joyful Paws, which began as an outlet to share my writing, which expanded to my books and my advocacy for dogs in wheelchairs, then expanded into my wanting to teach workshops. And for many years, I’ve also dreamed about offering oracle readings to others because of my love for them as a tool I use in my own life that has helped me greatly.
Joyful Paws….at the heart of the name is how my dogs taught me to appreciate so much about life…the simple things…that we only have this moment…that it’s our birthright to experience joy. All pauseful moments of reflection that I came to see as vital to living a meaningful life. In a world that glorifies hurry and material things, my dogs have, and continue to help me see what is truly important.
All those teachings expanded to really tuning into, and appreciating the healing energies of nature, observing other animals in the world, and exploring all the many parts of myself to step into the authenticity of who I am.
Joyful Paws is so much a part of who I am…which Jocelyn helped me to fully embrace and know that I didn’t need to let go. I realized I was resisting letting go of Joyful Paws in part because I didn’t want to buy into how things “should” be done in the world of how marketing can instruct us to do. And more than anything I wanted to trust my intuition.
And so it is…Joyful Paws will stay!
Which leads me to the other part of the story to this post today…
Last week, John and I took the plunge and bought a 2018 Chevrolet Exquinox. Well, we actually leased after weighing out all the options. Our GMC Envoy is seventeen years old and she treated us well. But it was time.
In preparing to sell the Envoy, I cleaned it out yesterday. I also knew I had to remove the website decals and the “in memory of” Frankie and Joie decals off the back which I saved until last. It was bittersweet.
The Envoy, for over five years, had become what I had dubbed as “The Frankie Mobile” when Frankie and I traveled to schools and libraries in Wisconsin sharing the message to “Always be positive, make a difference and keep on rolling!” We were also so fortunate to have a few local TV interviews, too.
As many of you also know, on June 21st, the five year of Frankie’s passing, I scattered her ashes around my writing cottage. I will do the same for Joie’s ashes on August 22nd – the day she passed four years ago.
Two things I’ve really come to understand: grief is something one always carries with them and it becomes a part of who you are. And there are moments when you are called to take another healing step in that journey. This is how it has been with expanding Joyful Paws from what it was, to what it now is, and what it will be as I continue to move forward.
And so it was with removing the decals off the back of my car. While the decals are gone, the memories of my dear wheelie dogs are not. They will always be a part of me – without them I wouldn’t be who I am today.
Just like Joyful Paws – it lights me up – it is so much of who I am – and always will be.
I took a photo before I removed the decals:
I removed most everything except for this:
It was my way of having a silent moment and quietly saying thank you once again to my wheelie dogs for all the joy they brought to my life before I finished peeling the rest away – a joy they gave me that remains – and always will.
In sharing the photos on Facebook, two ladies offered to make me new decals which I thought was very kind and sweet. Though I won’t be replacing them.
Another said it is “an end of an era.” While in one way, yes it is, I really view it as an expansion of an era. Because in my heart I believe I am carrying on the teachings of what my wheelie dogs taught me.
And I couldn’t help but think as this all unfolded that the Envoy is seventeen years old and Frankie would have been seventeen on August 20th. And for the time I had her I had it stuck in my head that I wanted her to live to be seventeen. In an animal communication reading with her that my friend Dawn did the day before I helped Frankie cross over, Frankie shared with us that she felt seventeen.
Perhaps…just perhaps, this was confirmation from Frankie that buying this new car and letting go of the old was the right time.
And why Joyful Paws as my website will stay the same. And I finally feel very good about this decision.
And to add to the magic of the number seventeen I shared this with my friend Dawn recently who said that seven and one when added is eight, which turned on it’s side is the infinity sign.
Infinity…which symbolizes eternity, empowerment, and everlasting love.
Now that gave me goosebumps!
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