social media

Taking Back My Power. No More Facebook Brain Drain.

Posted by Barbara Techel

Taking Back My Power. No More Facebook Brain Drain.

You will be with you longer than anyone else on this planet – why not make it a good relationship? ~Louise Hay

In having a heart-to-heart with my inner self of late, I’m being honest in looking at what in my life drains my energy.

I’ve been feeling for quite some time now that Facebook oftentimes takes away from my precious and valuable energy. While I’ve met some wonderful people via this social media avenue and it has been valuable in helping me spread the word about my work, I’m giving thought to how I will best use it going forward.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, here on my blog and in my newsletter, I’ve been pondering writing another book – one that feels the most challenging of the six books I’ve written to date. It will require much focus and it’s a book I feel more and more everyday I want to write.

This means being serious about looking at what feeds my mind which is fuel for my inspiration and energy. This has me facing the fact that when I find myself aimlessly scrolling Facebook it actually is more often than not, a brain drain for me.

In being honest and paying attention to my habits, when I feel stuck in my writing, working on a creative project, or working through the course I’m currently in at Oracle School, I’ve come to realize how easy it is to distract myself instead of sitting through something that feels challenging at the moment.

Oftentimes without even knowing it, when I feel stuck in my work or in school, I’ll realize I’m mindlessly scrolling through Facebook. I don’t even remember clicking over to Facebook! This can then take me down a bunch of different avenues. I have many interests, which is a lovely thing in ways to have, but also can leave me feeling drained when I lose focus (Hey look! A chicken!).  🙂

I don’t like how this feels anymore. And why I love the quote by Louise Hay in that I’m the only one who can be accountable to myself. I get to decide how my life will be meaningful and how I wish to feel on a daily basis. I want to spend more of my time feeling energized, not drained.

I’m also giving thought to if I will continue to share links of my blog posts to my Facebook page or not. Though this one feels scarier to me as I think about how I will share my writing and future books I publish. And this quote speaks to me and what I’m working on:

But I’ve been frustrated with how Facebook has changed their algorithms and how it has come down to money for ads and how many likes (or not) you receive which then determines if your posts are seen (or not).

At the beginning of the whole social media advent, it was for me, in that having a social media presence meant I could fulfill a purpose of mine in making a difference and being a positive voice in a world that can too often be filled with negativity.

While I’ve not made a definitive decision whether or not I’ll continue to share my posts via Facebook, it’s made me think about this home I call my digital home – my blog and website, Joyful Paws. I’ve been reading with great interest how blogging is making a return and how other creatives, such as Jon Katz of Bedlam Farm and Tammy Strobel of RowdyKittens.com, are thinking about Facebook and embracing taking back of their time and how they spend it. I agree with Tammy, who is also is a one woman operation as I am, that I only have so much energy to go around.

Thanks to Tammy I’ve also been reading with interest thought-provoking articles from Cal Newport, a Computer Science Professor, and the affects using social media has had on many, myself included. All of this has been confirmation for the many feelings I’ve been experiencing.

My digital home, when I think about when I first began and evolved in my blogging platform, is much the same way I see my home in which I live. It’s at the heart of who I am. A friend recently said to me when visiting me at home, sitting in my living room, how cozy it was, and how she could feel the beautiful energy and love within it. I can’t tell you how that warms my heart!

Home is so important to me – it’s always been one of my values. And so is my home on the internet, my blog. It means so much to me when you stop by and leave a comment. Even if you may not always agree with something I’ve written, it’s about being able to have a constructive and meaningful dialogue. You don’t always get that on Facebook.

For now, until I decide how I will move forward, I will continue to share links to my blog posts on my Facebook page, but won’t be interacting as much there anymore. In large part due to how I wish to conserve my energy because trying to be so many different places can leave me feeling drained…and then frustrated with myself for not having the energy to do what I really want to be doing.

What I’d welcome is when you feel called to share in conversation or simply leave a comment about something I’ve written, that you feel comfortable in doing so on my blog. Consider it your personal invitation to get comfy in my big red chair in my living room and imagine me pouring you a cup of tea or glass of wine. 🙂 

As I’ve been doing with blogs I enjoy, I’ve gone back to subscribing to them (and commenting directly on their blog) or adding them to my Feedly reader. I’ve always enjoyed supporting artists, and this means writers, too!  Two great options to choose from if you wish to do the same with my blog and subscribe if you don’t want to miss when I post. 

In regards to my interaction on Facebook, for now and the foreseeable future, it will be much more limited as I take back my power and focus on what feeds my soul…. in turn, it’s my hope that by my focusing more on what matters to me, it will encourage you do the same, and with your new found energy you will come sit a spell now and then here at my digital home, and engage in conversation when you feel called to.

Last but not least, thank you from the bottom of my heart to those of you who have been with me here on my blog since the beginning. Please know it means so much.

XO,

Barbara

P.S. I’ve reinstalled a helpful app on my computer that you might find useful also if you are feeling called to limit your social media exposure. It’s called Freedom where you can block your social media sites for a period of time. Because after all, we are all a work in progress, and it can be easy to fall back into old patterning. 😉

Additional Reading

Facebook Friends Not Real? I Beg to Differ and Say Thank You.

Posted by Barbara Techel

2014-02-07 19.41.26Kylie loves her toys. She usually has to have at least one of her toy friends with her on the sofa. If you look close enough you can see not only does she have her brown monkey friend with her, but also a little pink head is peeking out from under her too.  A bit squished under the weight of Kylie, I am sure, but none-the-less, quite loved as you can see.

Recently a friend shared with me that a friend of hers said that people on Facebook aren’t real— that they really aren’t our friends.

I was taken aback by this comment. It seemed this person had no idea how many wonderful communities are built because of it. As an author and writer, I really value the community I’ve come to know through my Facebook pages on my personal page and National Walk ‘N Roll Dog page.

I can’t imagine how much further behind I’d be in sharing my message if not for social media. But more importantly, the friendships I feel I’ve gained because of it.

I’ve been a strong advocate of Facebook ever since I started utilizing it many years ago. I see such potential and opportunity that we didn’t otherwise have.

While I value getting out in my own community and socializing, I feel having on line social media presence is another great avenue for me to connect with like-minded souls.

One of my joys is encouraging and inspiring others through my writing. What has come back to me through my blog and Facebook are wonderful people who find value in what I offer.

I often hear from so many of you who share with me how much my blog, facebook posts or books mean to you. How you’ve thought differently about how to approach your own lives, or how my writing brightens your day–brings you more joy.

While I don’t exactly know what that person truly meant regarding Facebook friends, I must say that I feel so lucky to have the friends and community I do in all of you who have been loyal readers and followers.

So instead of taking that person’s comment as negative, I want to take this opportunity to thank each of you for being my friend. For reading what I share. For reaching out to me with your own thoughts or a thank you. For being a part of my life. Each time I sit down to blog or write, I think about each of you and how I can add value to your day.

My friends, whether in person, or via Facebook, my blog, or through my books are as real to me as Kylie’s stuffed toys are to her. And I feel very rich in friendship for each of you.