weight loss

Radically Accepting Ourselves

Radically Accepting Ourselves

It’s been many years now that I’ve been striving toward really accepting myself as I am. This past fall as I went through the personal mastery level of Oracle School, it was the term ‘radical acceptance’ that was brought up often.

Accepting ourselves for who we are in any given moment. Stopping the harsh inner judgement. Loving ourselves with all our flaws and learning to not live within our story, but to take the lessons learned, leaving the story behind, and taking only the positive nuggets of wisdom gained.

January 3rd I’ll continue this journey by going through the INvision Process which is more about reprogramming the subconscious mind and living a unique and inspired life, not only for myself, but to also to guide others do the same.

So when I came across this article written by Anne Lamott it really spoke to me as we get ready to begin a New Year and going on a diet is the #1 thing most set as a goal.

I truly appreciate Anne’s perspective. I no longer weigh myself (can’t even remember the last time I did and I don’t own a scale). But this conditioning of how we eat and what it is all about is something I’m still a work in progress with, though I’m happy to say I feel like I’ve made positive leaps and bounds with it over the years…though yes, I still have my moments, too. But I’ve found that the more I work on my inner world, the more peace I find with who I am, and the more, by default, I want to put into my body, and do for my body, what is good for it.

So I share this from author Anne Lamott….

We need—I need— to have the same little talk we have every year at this time:

I know you are planning to start a diet on Monday, January 1st, I used to start diets, too. I hated to mention this to my then-therapist. She would say cheerfully, ” Oh, that’s great, honey. How much weight are you hoping to gain?”

I got rid of her sorry ass. No one talks to ME that way.

Well, okay, maybe it was ten years later, after she had helped lead me back home, to myself, to radical self-care, to friendship with my own heart, to a glade that had always existed deep inside me, to mostly healthy eating, but that I’d avoided all those years by achieving, dieting, binging, people-pleasing, and so on.

Now when I decide to go on a diet, I say it to myself: “Great, honey. How much weight are you hoping to gain?” Here is what’s true: diets make you fat. 95% of the time. We gain it back, plus 5 lbs.

I may have mentioned several hundred times that I have had the tiniest, tiniest struggle with food and body image for the last–well, life time. Hardly worth mentioning. It is a long story, having to do with childhood injuries to my sense of self, terrible anxiety, and the inability of my parents to nurture my soul: so starving and chastising myself cannot possibly heal this. I hate to say it, but only profound self-love will work, union with that scared breath-holding self, and not a diet that forbids apples, or avocado. Horribly, but as usual, only kindness and grace–spiritual WD-40–can save us.

Can you put the scale away for a week? Okay, then how about 4 days? I have been addicted to the scale, too, which is like needing Dick Cheney to weigh in every morning on my value as a human being. Can you put away your tight pants, that don’t actually hurt you? Wear forgiving pants! The world is too hard as it is, without letting your pants have an opinion on how you are doing. I struggle with enough esteem issues without letting my jeans get in on the act, with random thoughts about my butt.

By the same token, it feels great to be healthy. Some of you need to be under a doctor’s care. None of you need to join Jenny Craig. It won’t work. You will lose tons of weight quickly, and gain it all back, plus five. Some of you need to get outside and walk for half an hour a day. I do love walking, so that is not a problem for me, but I have a serious problem with sugar: if I start eating it, I sometimes can’t stop. I don’t have an off switch, any more than I do with alcohol. Given a choice, I will eat Raisinets until the cows come home–and then those cows will be tense, and bitter, because I will have gotten lipstick on the straps of their feed bags.

But you crave what you eat, so if I go for 3 or 4 days with very little sugar, the craving is gone. That is not dieting. If you are allergic to peanuts, don’t eat peanuts. Have an apple! Have some avocado.

It’s really okay, though, to have (or pray for) an awakening around your body. It’s okay to stop hitting the snooze button, and to pay attention to what makes you feel great about yourself, one meal at a time. Unfortunately, it’s yet another inside job. If you are not okay with yourself at 185, you will not be okay at 150, or even 135. The self-respect and peace of mind you long for is not out there. It’s within. I hate that. I resent that more than I can say. But it’s true.

Maybe some of us can try to eat a bit less, and walk a bit more, and make sure to wear pants that do not hurt our thighs or our feelings. Drinking more water is the solution to all problems. Doing a three minute meditation every day will change your life. Naps are nice.

I’ll leave you with this: I’ve helped some of the sturdier women at my church get healthy, by suggesting they prepare each meal as if they had asked our beloved pastor to lunch or dinner. They wouldn’t say, “Here Pastor–let’s eat standing up in the kitchen. This tube of barbecue Pringles is all for you. i have my own.” And then stand there gobbling from their own tubular container. No, they’d get out pretty dishes, and arrange wonderful foods on the plates, and set one plate before Veronica at the table, a plate filled with love, pride and connection. That’s what we have longed for, our whole lives, and get to create, now, or on the 1st. Wow!

Join me in not starting a diet January 1st. And God bless you all real good, as my pastor always says.

Dieting with Your Dog- Interview with Author Peggy Frezon

 

Today I have the honor of hosting popular pet columnist, Peggy Frezon, and author of her new book, Dieting with My Dog, One Full Life, Two Figures…and Unconditional Love.

I asked Peggy five different questions about her book and dieting with her dog and here is what she had to say:

1.  What was your favorite thing about dieting with your dog, Kelly?

Spending more time together. We used to pretty much laze around the house, me working at the computer and Kelly sleeping at my feet. Now I make it a priority to get out and get some exercise, take a walk together. It helps to know I’m doing something healthy for both of us. And it’s fun.

2.  What was your least favorite thing about dieting with your dog?

Sometimes she pesters me for food. She seems to get hungry late every evening. She’s quite persistant at nudging me, jumping up on the chair besie me, and even barking until I get her something to eat. Fortunately, ususally baby carrots will do the trick, and they’re good for her.

3.  What, if anything, did your dog teach you about dieting?

Kelly taught me that dieting is easier if you do it with a friend!

4.  Do you think dieting with your dog made it easier for you to stay on track?

Definetely. I’ve gone on diets before, and always gain the weight back. Kelly depends on me to keep her healthy… and to keep myself healthy too, so that we can keep sharing good times together. She even nudges me to get up and go out for walks when I’ve been working at the computer too long.

5.  What would you recommend to other dog owners who want to lose weight? What is the best way to start?

If you aren’t sure if your dog is overweight or not, have your dog evaluated by your veterinarian. Sometimes it’s difficult to see it on your own dog. Kelly is really furry, and I didn’t really think she weighed too much at first. If your dog needs to lose weight, the most important thing I learned is to measure her good. I was giving Kelly “one scoop” twice a day, but that scoop contained four times more food than she needed. Also, be sure you are giving your dog the highest quality nutrition you can afford. If you aren’t sure, your veterinarian can guide you. And finally, get active together. You can walk, run, jog, swim, fetch and play, according to your dog’s needs and stamina. It’s great for both of you!

 

Follow along on Peggy’s Weight Loss with a Wag Blog Tour to learn more about her new book!

 

Purchase Peggy’s book on Amazon, or Barnes and Noble