I watched as he slid the white envelope across the counter containing a set of keys.
Keys to where he is no longer permitted to enter. It’s been over a year now.
His heart is mending and this was his final step of letting go.
A man of great integrity, a strong work ethic, and very trustworthy, found his heart in a place he never expected it to be.
My heart broke that day over a year ago, too. And I never thought it would stitch itself back together again. But with time, it has — though there is still a lingering now and then of sorrow and “what if?”. But with this came blessings I never expected, too.
But as I watched him hand over the keys it was the hurt in his heart that I knew was there that broke mine all over again.
To see someone you love to have struggled through a heartache, I think, is harder than ones own heartbreak.
Perhaps because I know in the depth of my bones that he gave of himself 200% and gave from a place inside him that I think even surprised himself is what makes it that much harder to bear.
But it was a relationship with someone we both loved that went astray that we each worked our way through — on our own, and together….and how the blessings revealed themselves as they always do if you look hard enough.
As we drove home last night, the headlights of oncoming cars lighting up his face, I saw etched in the lines of his face a sadness that will likely always be there.
It can never be erased.
We held hands. And I wished I could take away all the hurt he endured.
But the blessing is that he became stronger. He opened his heart in a way he never thought he would, and one can never have regrets for that.
I saw a side of a man I’d not seen before and it made me love him even more. And our marriage became even more deeply connected because of it.
These are the blessings that came from two broken hearts. This awareness of how fragile life really is that guided us through the pain.
The heart of the matter, though in some ways we may never have answers to some questions– what we do know is that we evolved into a stronger couple — we walked the road of disappointment and hurt together — and the gift of it is that we now love one another more deeply.