Birthdays. Life. Death. And Tractors.

Posted by Barbara Techel

tractor 1200It’s not everyday that you see tractors outside of a funeral home. But then again you likely never met my Uncle Dale. He loved tractors!

Though my heart felt heavy riding to the funeral home early last evening, coming upon the funeral home to see my uncle’s pride and joy sitting outside, framing the funeral home, made me smile.  Of course, I thought. His tractors would be here. My heart lightened.

Funerals and death can sure make you stop and think about what is truly important in life. Not that I don’t appreciate life, because I really do. But once again, death, for me, magnifies joy and all the blessings that I have.

My uncle was 71 years old. Died suddenly of a stroke. Very unexpected. As we listened to the sermon many thoughts flashed through my mind. I will celebrate my 50th birthday tomorrow. My uncle was 21 years older than me. My dear friend, Cassy, now a big part of my life, is 29.  We, too, are 21 years apart. Someday she and I will trade places in age. My mom and I also 21 years apart. It struck me to think I am only 21 years from the age of my uncle- now gone.  My uncle the same age as my mom and dad. It could have been me standing there saying goodbye.

While we never know when our time is to leave this earth, it was another reality check of how fast these years go. I recalled fond memories of staying overnight at my cousins, remembering how they would wait in anticipation for their dad to get home on a Friday night. For 31 years he was a truck driver, working really hard and providing for his family so my aunt Kathy could stay home and raise their three children.

Today on my Uncle Jim’s Facebook page he said this of Dale, “He worked hard all his life, took pride in his work, and loved his family dearly. He touched many lives. He will be missed by family and friends alike.” It is so true.  It is what I think of too when I think of him and how I will remember him. He was truly one of the hardest working men I’ve ever known.

I also really admired the marriage between Dale and my aunt Kathy. They sure did have their share of tough times. But they made it. They loved each other. Two peas in a pod. They are a wonderful reminder of all I want to continue in my marriage with John.

Today as I continue to celebrate my birthday week I will also celebrate my uncle’s life. He was a gentle giant, with a wonderful smile, and a love for his wife and family that makes me so proud to say he was my uncle.

As the funeral came to an end one last song was played…Roll on 18 Wheeler by Alabama.  I, along with many others, smiled big through tears. Such a fitting end to a wonderful man. Rest in peace uncle Dale.

Tuning Into Our Pets We Can See Ourselves.

Posted by Barbara Techel

IMG_1625 1200pMy understanding of how each dog that comes into our lives and have new lessons to teach us continues to deepen. Or as they say, each dog comes into our lives just at the right time for whatever it is we need at that time.

Joie and I have had to make our adjustments. But in being honest with myself, I realize it was me that needed to be more open and pay attention to who Joie is as a dog. Ever since I had a reading with animal communicator, Dawn, concentrating on what Joie needs, I’ve felt a beautiful shift in my relationship with her.

Now don’t get me wrong– I loved Joie from the minute I saw her. I wanted her with all my heart and I’m so glad she is mine. But I still had work to do on myself, and quite honestly, I’ll always have work to do. This is what life is all about, right?

Joie is the first dog I’ve ever adopted, so I didn’t know how her day to day was before me. It is also interesting that when I share with people that I adopted her, and she is paralyzed, many assume she was abused. As far as I know, that is not the case.

Whatever Joie was used to before she came to live with John and I, I’ve learned to be more aware of her needs and be more observant. I discovered one morning as she was watching out the patio door, that maybe she wanted to be out on the deck while I was getting ready. Sure enough, I opened the door, out she went, and she seemed to have the best time exploring all by herself. I hadn’t thought before to let her do this because Frankie didn’t like being alone outside and would whimper if I wasn’t out there with her.

I love cuddle time with Joie, but I’m also enjoying seeing her as the independent little dog she is.  How interesting as I think she is helping me to be even stronger in what is right for my own life as well.

We (hopefully) have many years ahead of us to grow into the relationship that is meant to be just right for us. But Joie is a reminder to me to stay tuned in not only to her needs, but mine as well.

Giving Back in a Way I Never Expected, but Welcome with an Open Heart.

Posted by Barbara Techel

cassy on bileCassy on the bike that we gifted to her as her (very early) birthday present

There are moments in life, that if you are open and listen, will send you an opportunity that speaks to your heart.  As many of you know, this happened with me and my work with Frankie, which carried me to today loving little Joie.

Frankie was a gift from above that opened my heart to discovering the beautiful and gratifying rewards of volunteering and giving back to others. Since her passing, I’ve not done much volunteering, and at times, have felt not quite complete.

This past May, John and I gave serious thought to wanting to reach out and help our dear friend, Cassy who is going through a major life transition. You may recall I’ve talked about her from time to time here on my blog. She is truly a talented and gifted artist. More than that, she and I were destined to become friends. Her joy and love for life is contagious. I often see myself in her and she is a beautiful reminder of what I too love about life.

After thinking about all the “what if’s,” as well as being honorable to what we hold dear to our own values and love of our home and life, we made the decision to welcome Cassy into our home as she moves through her transition. While I know those close to me were concerned this was the right thing to do, and I’m so lucky to have that love and support, John and I knew in our hearts this was right.

As I shared in my memoir, I struggled for many years with feeling “less than” for never having the motherly instinct. At times, I felt so odd and alone. Not until I did my work with Frankie, mentoring young kids with our positive message did it finally help me find peace that this is the “motherly” work I was meant to do. I could finally release the pain of feeling “less than.”

How honored I feel to now have another opportunity to give back, this time in a new and different way, but yet in much the same way.  This time helping to nurture and offer guidance to Cassy to help her take a big leap of faith into the life she’s always dreamed of.

Taking someone into our home was a big decision for us. We didn’t make it lightly. It would mean moving about in a new way within our own home– a place we hold sacred and love so much. But, Cassy has made it easier as a young lady who is so conscious of how this would affect John and my life together. Everything we could possibly think of was discussed beforehand, leading us all to ultimately following our hearts, believing this was the right thing to do.

Instead of thinking about all the “what if’s” in a negative way, we have opened ourselves to all the “what ifs” in a positive way. This has led to my relationship with John growing even stronger than I ever imagined. There is an added sweet and happy energy  to our home that Cassy has graced us with. There is a fulfillment in  each of our hearts that seem to be just what each of us need at this time. But most of all, for John and I, there is this new dimension of who we are as a couple and how this has helped our relationship evolve in a way we never anticipated– a way I can’t yet quite find to describe in words. But it is beautiful.

Cassy is a gift to us as much as I know she feels the same way about us.  We honor and hold that as a treasure we each carry in our hearts as we continue to strive to live our lives in a way that is right for each of us. I, for one, am holding this time very close to my heart, enjoying each precious moment. I realize that before I know it, our little bird will fly from the nest into the life she is meant to live. But to know we were a part of helping her along on that journey will be a gift we carry in our hearts for the rest of our lives.