Sitting around the fire of our new chiminea last night, I looked up and through the soon-to-be budding tree next to our deck.

The late afternoon light was coming through it so beautifully it made me want to cry.

It was a bit of a scary week after going to the ER last Monday having had some chest pains on and off for a few weeks. Then a follow up doctor appointment that I left from still with no definitive answer. Then a trip to my chiropractor who thinks it is costochondritis (basically inflammation under my rib cage). I feel confident this is what it is. But to cover all bases I had a stress test done on Friday.

As much as one tries not to worry, well, worry I did. Though I felt better after seeing my chiropractor that I did have the right answer — but still — it lingered at the back of my mind if it could be more serious.

When I check in with my gut, I believe my stress test will come back with flying colors and I should know tomorrow or Tuesday. But at the same time, it will be good to get that confirmation.

As I gazed into the blue sky last night, the birds chirping, Kylie, Gidget, and John beside me on the deck, I felt such gratitude for the life I have.

The light beaming down through the branches reminded me that every experience we go through is growth.

I also thought back to Friday, having to wait 25-minutes for the doctor to come back from lunch before I could take my stress test. I was already hooked up to all the equipment, my hands sweating, and trying to take my mind off how the test would go.

The nurses were so kind — Nicole and Connie, plus one other but I didn’t catch her name. While we waited, the discussion turned to dogs. Then the one nurse asking what I do. I’m a writer and author I told them.

This turned into the nurse whose name I didn’t know who then connected the dots and figured out I was Frankie’s mom.  And before I knew it my mind was off the impending test.

We talked about the book I’m currently working on and how it is about accepting times of transition in our lives as gifts.

I realized last night that even though I was in a situation such as this, I was able to share my light with others. And how we can share our message no matter what.

And when I was done with my stress test, which went well, dressed and ready to go, Connie walked me down the hall to show me on my way. She said, “It was really nice meeting you. You really made my day. Thank you.”

I was surprised she said this as it was I who was so grateful for their kindness and making me feel at ease.

And last night I thought about all those audiences years before I had spoken to, but haven’t done much since Frankie passed away. And how I struggled with that for so long.

But as the light beamed down through the tree I realized that we all can make a difference just by living from the light of who we are — and that light will touch the lives it needs to touch. We really don’t need to do anything but simply be who we are.

—

Miss Gidget is doing well also after having 6 teeth pulled on Friday. Life is good.

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I “accidentally” came across this line in the book Animal-Speak by Ted Andrews (I say accidentally as I believe life is always giving us clues and there are no accidents):

“The dachshund (badger dog) was bred specifically to hunt and dig after badgers and to chase them out of their burrows. Dachshund owners probably have some badger medicine or can easily connect to it.”

I’ve often heard that Badger is the meanest animal on earth and quite honestly, never looked into it further.

Just like Snake, I feared for quite some time, but am understanding them more and the teachings they have for me.

It’s those animals that we tend to look away from that perhaps can give us some insight to ourselves.

As I read further about the badger I came to discover, that like the dachshund, they are powerful diggers (though I’ve personally never had a dachshund that digs).

But I’m going to go with this and how it resonated with me today.

In Animal-Speak it says, “Because it is such a powerful digger, the badger has knowledge of things beneath the earth. This includes minerals, roots, and other plants and herbs. This makes the badger a dynamic healer.”

On Monday I spent a few hours in the ER. I had first called to make an appointment with my family physician to have some pains in my chest evaluated that I’d been having on and off the last few weeks — but they said I had to go straight to ER.

As you can imagine, this threw me into a panic thinking I might be having a heart attack or a serious heart issue. But I drove myself and my mom met me there.

After all the tests were run there was no indication of a heart issue. Though I was glad to hear this, I was also left without an answer. The doctor in ER said to follow up within the week with my family doctor and have her schedule a stress test.

I’m following protocol on it just to cover all the bases. But I’m a digger, just like badger and dachshund and did some research online coming up with a few theories I looked into further. I also worked with going into a meditation which I’m still processing of what transpired during that time this morning.

But on Wednesday I visited my chiropractor who took the time to feel around on the left side of my chest and under my rib cage where I experienced sharp shooting pains over the last two weeks. For some reason neither the ER or my doc did this.

She said that it was definetly puffy on the upper part of my chest meaning it was inflammation. And when she felt under my rib cage and applied pressure on different points, it was evident she hit on something. It was painful.

She said it is likely costochondritis which is “inflammation of the cartilage that connects a rib to the breastbone (sternum). Pain caused by costochondritis might mimic that of a heart attack or other heart conditions.”

She wrote it down for me saying she knows I like to look things up and understand what I can. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that she listened to me and empowered me.

So I feel like I’m on the right path to clues that continue to unfold. Just like reading that Badger and Dachshund are diggers – I am a digger wanting to understand fully why this has transpired for me the last few days and opening myself to clues along the way to heal myself.

While at times I feel like being a digger can be a curse, coming across this information about Badger and Dachshund was a gift to only help me feel more empowered.

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